Sizzle Says

So it is pouring down rain and I am already 10 minutes late for work. I jump a puddle and get in my car with lightning speed. I put the key in the ignition and . . .nothing happens. There is no juice. No power. No nothing. Crap!

I call work and tell them I am stranded and will be late. I try the ignition again. Still, nothing. No miracle has occurred in the last 10 seconds. I grab the handle to open the door. It is locked. I hit the automatic button for the door locks. It won’t work. I hit it again and again and again. Still, nothing. I try the keychain button to unlock the doors. Nothing. Oh. My. God. I. Am. Trapped.

And I am freezing.

I call AAA. I am laughing. How ridiculous is this situation? Very. I talk to a very slow-witted fella at AAA. He doesn’t get my jokes. Don’t you get it fella? I am trapped in my car and I can’t get out and it is freezing. This is hilarious. It’s ok. You can laugh. He says it will be under 30 minutes. I quip, “Good thing I don’t have to pee!”

I sit there for a second chuckling. I try the ignition again. What IS it about not believing your car is dead? I always try multiple times like somehow I had forgotten a magic step in turning my car on. I call my best friend because she’d get a kick out of this situation. Hell, who wouldn’t? She doesn’t answer. Bummer. I call Tomato. He doesn’t answer. Double bummer. Where is everyone when I have such a funny story to tell them!?

Then it hits me: I can manually unlock my door. I reach over and pull up the lock. I am free!

Good God. I am brilliant. (Not.) Talk about looking like an idiot. Stupid. Stupid. I am just glad I didn’t sit in that car like an a-hole thinking I was trapped. The roadside assistance guy arrives. We try to jump it. No go. He bangs on the starter. Still, nothing. He calls in a tow truck and I wait again. Tow truck driver arrives and takes the car a block away. Ah, irony. I give the mechanic my information and decide I can walk to work since it isn’t raining.

So, of course, it starts to downpour. And, of course, I am not properly attired – wool coat and cap? Chuck Taylors? Check. Check. Soaking wet when I arrive to work? Check.

So much for riding that wave of positive feedback. Damn you Universe! But seriously? I cannot stop laughing.

Sometimes feedback feels good:

“That Sizzle! I was really impressed by her- to have all that information in her head but then to really have it in her heart. Wow.”