Sizzle Says

In the past week, two guys have either given me their number or asked for mine.

Hold up! Don’t go getting too excited just yet.

It isn’t that these fellas aren’t nice. They seem to be. Or unattractive. They are cute. But what’s the rush?

I used to say, in the world of dating, there are waders and there are divers. Some like to test the water temperature, easing a toe in and then maybe, a little bit later once they have adjusted, submerging up to the knees. Divers, on the other hand, they just walk right up to the water, take a deep breath and jump.

I used to be a diver.

My resistance to giving out my digits isn’t based on disinterest in these particular fellas. It’s that talking on the phone takes such effort when it is someone you don’t know. And then, they have your number and can call you again. Even if you don’t want them to. Or, worse, they can text you four months later saying something naughty about wanting you in their bed (see: Irishman). It’s not like email where you can put a block. You might, if you get a crazy, have to change your number. No thanks. I don’t want to risk it.

Now don’t get me wrong. I do talk on the phone. Sometimes for over an hour at a time. Especially if I am talking to Hillz or Tomato or Dokey because we tend to mix current affairs with memories of the past and generally, we are working out some emotional situation. Because that is what we do. And these things take time. I can be talking to Hillz for over 2 hours and have no idea that much time has passed except for the fact that my ear hurts and my phone is about to die.

When it is someone new there is that pressure to entertain, to be on, to impress. I don’t have the energy for that right now. I don’t want to date. I am busy. I have things to do. I have big plans to implement. I have weight to lose. I have to wash my hair. I have to clean my andirons.

You understand?

So while I am flattered, I am not enthused. And I have to pay attention to that or else I will force myself to go along for sake of going along, for the sake of being “nice” (blech!) and end up in something I am not up for. Because let’s face it, I am very charming. They will probably fall in love with me. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)