Sizzle Says

I really would have drunk blogged last night if my stupid internet hadn’t quit on me. Don’t blame me, blame my internet provider.

It’s not even 8:00am PST and I am having a shitastic day. Let’s review shall we?

1) I am at work before 8am after having 3.5 days off.

2) I have no fucking internet at home.

3) I have to rearrange my schedule to accommodate a 12-4 window for the tech to come out and “fix” the problem.

4) I pinched my finger in my lip gloss case.

5) I dumped water all over the kitchen floor while trying to water a dead plant.

6) My eyes are puffy.

7) It smelled like old gym socks in the waiting area of my office.

8) I must own 50 pairs of socks and not ONE of them matched so I am wearing Converse with no socks.

9) My hairdresser hasn’t return my call.

10) I have 50 gagillion white hairs that seem to multiply every time I get them wet. This means I can either stop washing my hair, let myself go completely white, box dye it for the sake of my pocketbook or shave my head.

11) I have raging PMS and everyone is annoying me. (Can’t you tell by my sunshiney attitude?)

12) My cat got tangled in the cord for the blinds this morning. She was frozen with the cord wrapped around her mid-section when I came around the bed to check what was up. When I went to untangle her she clawed the fuck out of my hand, drawing blood. Ungrateful spaz.

I am clearly a solipsistic, self-aggrandizing ego queen. Look at this list. None of these reasons involve war, famine, genocide, racism, homelessness, babies born without eyeballs or three-legged dogs. I should be ashamed of myself.

“I could see you ten or twelve times a day/I think it’s best we do it your therapist’s way/I grow my hair long and wear big coats, yeah/I get so lovesick my sad thoughts float/The time you’ve got me running/News broke today so we’re not talking/I think it’s best we do a little bit of stopping/I want a house on the beach and you in my dreams/I need water, yeah, and a love love love love” -Time Running, Tegan and Sara