Sizzle Says

I didn’t get a window seat to or from Portland which was disappointing since what I could see from my seat looked pretty and picturesque. . .Lush green trees and lakes and rivers interspersed with stretches of neighborhoods where houses sagged into unfenced front yards littered with overturned tricycles and big wheels. It felt rustic and raw and unassuming. Instead, I peered over the heads of people who could care less for the scenery and listened to my iPod until it almost ran out of juice and killed an hour and a half watching the free movie (Catch & Release on the way to Portland and Breach on the way back to Seattle). I will definitely be traveling by train again. Maybe next time to Vancouver.

It rained all weekend which made me feel like I was still home. We spent Saturday driving around, doing our requisite Jenny Two Times & Sizzle shopping, looking at all the cute houses and different neighborhoods. Jenny insisted she needed to get her hair cut (and here I am resorting to wearing a hat because my hair is so craptastic right now) so we headed over to the salon. I sat on the couch and read all about how Rickie Lake is now a size 4 (from a 24) and how she finally loves herself. I have mixed feelings about people learning to love themselves ONLY when they are what the media deems as acceptable beauty (thin). But you know what? I’m going to save my fat rant for another time. And trust me, I have plenty to say on that topic.

So I am sitting there on the salon couch teetering on boredom, having exhausted my patience with the celebrity rags, I pull out my journal to write some thoughts out. Jen’s hair stylist looks over and says, “Dear Diary, I came all the way from Seattle to visit my friend and I am sitting here on the couch while she gets her hair cut. I am SOOOO bored.” I told him, “Hey, get out of my head!” I just love a sassy queen. I miss my gay boys back home.

Many of you know that Jenny is one of my oldest and dearest friends so I can say this with love: Jenny can get a bit obsessive sometimes. Her mind can run like a treadmill, never changing scenery, exhausting her. We all have probably experienced some of that from time to time (me, raising my hand guilty). She also fixates on things and talks out loud as she is trying to figure something out. I’ve learned to tune some of that out because it really is not meant for me to hear and respond to. She’s quirky and I like that about her. Like Saturday night at dinner, she discovered she had a bug bite on her forearm. As she was intently inspecting it, scratching it and lamenting how cruel her fate is with this bothersome bug bite on her arm I told her, “Jenny! Focus! Go back to the time before you knew it existed.” She found this incredibly hilarious. I laughed too (yet I still have no idea where such a ludicrous statement came from) but mostly because I was tipsy from downing my second beer. Mmmm Stella! (Alissa, I’m a convert.) I knew I was pretty toasty when, as we were getting in the car after dinner, I saw a young couple walking, her arm entwined in his while her breasts, ample and overflowing from her low cut dress, begged to be stared at and I said, “He’s so going to suck on those later. You know that’s what he is thinking each time he looks at them.” I’m so classy. Jenny thought I was being crass. Whatever. As if. It’s not like they could hear me. Heh.

Tomorrow I’ll blog about how lesbians love me or possibly about how breakfast is the most important meal of the day or maybe I will unleash my fat rant. You totally don’t want to miss it! (Or maybe you do.)

“There’s a corner of your heart for me./There’s a corner of your heart just for me./I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart./Just to stay in the corner of your heart.” -Corner of Your Heart, Ingrid Michaelson