Sizzle Says

I don’t understand people who don’t eat breakfast.

I know myself. I need protein in the morning, preferably with tea. I need to take my vitamins. I need that ritual.

Whenever I travel my routine gets all fucked. Many of my friends don’t eat breakfast and subsequently, we reach an impasse when I visit. For the record, in my world breakfast does not occur at 11:00am. Technically that is brunch, people. Breakfast also does not consist of a scone. That is sugar and carbs and does nothing for me. (See me crash and burn about 1.5 hours later and you will regret it. Not. Pretty.) I need oatmeal and fruit or, preferably, an egg and a piece of whole grain toast with a tea chaser.

If I have been up for more than 2 hours and have not had any food you can bet I will be a) cranky or b) emotional unless I am already emotional and then in that case you are already fucked. Get the picture? Feed me! Get me to food! My politeness only lasts for about 45 minutes before I start to crack.

Another wrench in this whole debacle is that I don’t drink coffee. I know. I live in Seattle and I don’t drink coffee. For shame! But it makes me feel weird- meaning, I get very sluggish and want to curl up and take a nap. Yes, I know. Bizarro. Shrug. That’s me. So, I don’t have that appetite suppressant to rely on. I’m just warning the world: I need sustenance in the morning.

On a brighter note, I discovered the egg sandwiches at Starbucks this weekend. Peppered bacon? Um, hello deliciousness. See? I can find the positive. (Just as long as I have already had my breakfast.)

Do you eat breakfast?

“If God was on the radio/I know he’d say to thee:/Love is spiders on the edge/and we’re hanging by a thread/connected to the other end of this twisted frequency I’ve spun/But I don’t care/I’d be happy/If you’d share/your web/with me…”-Spiders, Lovedrug