Reading IS Sexy « Sizzle Says

Reading IS Sexy

June 25, 2007 at 7:02 am | In conversations, drivel, fun & frolicking | 34 Comments

My friend the Mad Irishman called me up Saturday evening and as we were shooting the shit he invited me to join him for some drinks. Since I was sitting around my apartment in my boy shorts and tank top drinking a beer I figured it’d do my social life a world of good if I put a bra on and got out of the house. I met him and his friend, Southern Bell, at the Whiskey Bar which is like his own personal Cheers. He knows all the bartenders, bouncers and regulars. He was well on his way to being wasted by the time arrived.

Words of wisdom: Never drink on an empty stomach and a broken heart.

The bar filled up as the hours passed down our drained glasses. The music reached such high decibels hearing was only possible by talking directly into someone’s ear. At one point a guy bellied up to the bar next to where I was seated. As he tried to get the attention of the bartender he struck up a conversation with me.

Joe: That’s a great shirt. I have a button that says that.

Sizz: Really? I love this shirt!

Joe: And may I say it looks very becoming on you. (Staring at the words stretched across my rack.)

Sizz: Oh well, um, thanks?

(Insert: You come here often? What part of town do you live in? What are you drinking? usual bar conversation.)

Joe: Are you here with someone?

Sizz: Just a couple friends.

Joe: Is your “friend” going to stab me in the gut if I buy you a drink?

Sizz: Oh no, he’s not that kind of friend.

Joe: Good, what can I get you?

Then he proceeded to buy me and my friends drinks as we made our introductions all around. It was good timing because every time the Mad Irishman went outside for a smoke I would drink his shot of Jameson and, oh lookie here, he was fresh out again.

What? Me? A lush? Shut your mouth. ;)

As he turned to head back to his friend, Joe leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. It was sweet if not unexpected and totally unsolicited. I turned to the Mad Irishman and Southern Bell and said, “My tits just got you free drinks!” And we toasted to my rack and to the random generosity of strangers and to the beauty of blaring Social Distortion and to this wicked adventure called Life.

“Well round and round she goes/Where she’ll stop nobody knows/Y’know that woman put a spell/On me, but if you start me, start me, start me you can’t stop me,/Stop me, stop me/When she begin to rock, honey, I begin to roll/I was hangin’ by the phone, tired/Of sleepin’ alone/Baby tell me where did I go wrong? When/Minutes seem like hours and/Days seem like weeks, how could/A year last so fucking long?” -When She Begins, Social Distortion

34 Comments »

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My rack NEVER gets me free drinks, let alone my friends! Well done.

Comment by alissa — June 25, 2007 #
This is simply proof of the fact that it is cheaper for females to go out than males – because boys enjoy boobs and buy drinks.

Comment by Nic — June 25, 2007 #
Sounds like a fun time!
This line cracked me up:
Joe: Is your “friend” going to stab me in the gut if I buy you a drink?

Comment by diane — June 25, 2007 #
Good for you and your rack! : )

Comment by Jen — June 25, 2007 #
Did you give him your number???

Comment by Theresa — June 25, 2007 #
Yay, Sizz! Yay Sizz’s boobs!

Comment by sandra — June 25, 2007 #
alissa- i should come out to detroit and get you some free drinks then. ;)
nic- true though this kind of thing NEVER happens to me (maybe because i don’t usually go to bars?)
diane- i know, huh? but the mad irishman looks kind of intimidating.
jen- props go to my rack, really.
theresa- oh no. it was a harmless little interaction.

Comment by sizzle — June 25, 2007 #
aww how nice is that, what a nice boost for you and your rack.. : )

Comment by audrey — June 25, 2007 #
Haha… sounds like you had an awesome night!

Comment by Scott — June 25, 2007 #
You go girl!!!!

Comment by The Diva's Thoughts — June 25, 2007 #
I like those lyrics. Never heard of the band, but I might have to google them now.

Comment by Bone — June 25, 2007 #
My sister did that for my friends and I one time in Austin, only she had to actually flash the bartender. Fortunately, she was wearing a tube top and has never been very modest so we drank for free all night. So, what happened with Joe?

Comment by Becky — June 25, 2007 #
sandra- really it is my boobs that deserve the cheers.
audrey- yeah, a boost and i didn’t even have to wear a push up bra. ha.
scott- it was a mighty good time.
diva- ha, thanks.
bone- you like punk rock? check ‘em!
becky- nothing happened. that was it. end of story.

Comment by sizzlesays — June 25, 2007 #
Ah, a little Social D, good for what ails ya, as are free drinks and sweet racks. Sounds like a good time.

Comment by whit — June 25, 2007 #
Ah, yes. Perhaps it’s why they’re called assets? Har har har.
I’m just catching up around here so I’m comment condensing a little. RE: LOVE the idea of the last post and have definitely had the same questioning as in the post before that. I have no idea what’s up with people who draw that conclusion.

Comment by justrun — June 25, 2007 #
Here here, I’ll drink to your rack, and racks everywhere. ;)

Comment by g-man — June 25, 2007 #
you need a moosehead beer shirt – they say “nice rack” (i have one… the shirt that is… oh, and the rack too :) )

Comment by question girl — June 25, 2007 #
Three cheers for your rack! Hip hip, brazziere!

Comment by Anthony S. — June 25, 2007 #
whit- social d + free drinks + sweet rack = awesome time
please follow that recipe carefully. ;)
justrun- love the combo pack comment!
g-man- color me surprised! (not!)
question girl- i do. where can i get one??
anthony- hip, hip, brazziere! (you’re killing me!)

Comment by sizzlesays — June 25, 2007 #
That is one successful night. And Social D! Me likey!
Good job, boobies!

Comment by Melissavina — June 25, 2007 #
Having great tits certainly has perks!!

Comment by Bre — June 25, 2007 #
I too LOVE that shirt and I’m glad your rack scored you a buzz. :o)

Comment by Foo — June 25, 2007 #
Damn, my tits never get me anything.

Comment by Lefty — June 25, 2007 #
Sheesh…my boobs are worthless. Hmmmpft!

Comment by Dawn — June 25, 2007 #
I’m confused.

You said something about not drinking on an empty stomach and with a broken heart? But it sounds like the night went well… more than well.

Comment by Traveling Chica — June 25, 2007 #
You are just so cool. I got a t-shirt that has written across my tits “I’ll be using these for my gain later.”

Comment by Melissa — June 25, 2007 #
HOORAY for you and YOUR RACK!

Comment by esmerelda — June 25, 2007 #
Way to go on the free drinks…..I used to for my rack too in the single days. But, the prob was when they wanted more…

Comment by Patty — June 25, 2007 #
my rack would only profit grains of rice.

and social D? so true! what a great theme song playing in the background of your constantly changing life.

“how could a year last so long?”

i totally couldn’t comment on the fucking part…:)

Comment by gorillabuns — June 25, 2007 #
I love how simple it is – that you never intended for an evening like that or even for drinks to be purchased on your behalf – when you threw on a t-shirt.

Comment by ammanners — June 26, 2007 #
Sounds like an incredibly fun Saturday night. My rack hasn’t gotten me drinks for a while. I kind of miss that. I’m thinking my husband may be the cockblock in these situations though, since we always go out together. ;)

Comment by Jessie — June 26, 2007 #
Hurrah for the rack!

Comment by Karl — June 27, 2007 #
Awe, what a great story! Buy more clever shirts for your boobs to promote.

Comment by LVGurl — June 28, 2007 #
[...] capped off a long Thursday with a stop off at The Whiskey which means, PBRs and Jameson shots with The Mad Irishman. Which means, in layman’s terms, “hello sweet debauchery.” The Southern Bell [...]

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