Sizzle Says

For work purposes, I have to interact with this one fella who has this habit of saying “as well” in every other sentence. You think I am exaggerating? In a two hour meeting yesterday I counted him saying “as well” 18 times. Yes, I kept a tally. It was a long meeting and I needed to amuse myself.

He’s also added “essentially” to his repertoire. It gave “as well” a run for its money racking in at 16 times.

These are unnecessary, added on words. Saying, “as well” at the end of a sentence once is understandable but EIGHTEEN times? Someone help this man.

In other work-related but un-related news, I have a semi-unprofessional relationship with a sales guy at a company we do business with. Around the office, my coworkers refer to him as my “(insert name of his employer) boyfriend” which I find highly amusing because of how ridiculous it really is. Honestly, it all started innocently enough. We had to talk a lot to set up the account. He’s chatty. I’m chatty. We discovered through our chattiness that we are born one day apart but he’s a year younger than me. We have that Aries-ness about us. I’ve also learned what he likes to do in his free time, about his current relationship status (single), that he grew up here but loves to travel and that while living the life of an eligible bachelor may seem desirable, it’s a bit lonely and the bar scene is not all it’s cracked up to be. What can I say? I have a knack for getting people to share.

At one point he was going to be at a game I was working and he mentioned stopping by to say hi. That led to a picture exchange. Because, duh, how were we supposed to know who the other was? Voice recognition devices? And, um, for the record? He’s cute. In the photo he was wearing a suit and he happened to be in Vegas and it happened to be an artsy kind of shot but still, what a man in a suit and tie does for me. . .well, we don’t have time to get into that right now. Ahem! After seeing my picture he claimed I looked “familiar” which we all know is code for “I’ve seen you in my dreams.” (Cough.)

But, sadly, he never showed at the game and yesterday, when we were scheduled to have an in person meeting, he stood me up. Again. He claimed he was having a “day from Hades” and he was stuck at home waiting for his “washing machine repair appointment.”

That’s it. We’re totally breaking up.

“I’ve never seen blue/like the blues he drives/in and around/and through me again/said I’ve never seen eyes/like the blues he drives/in and around/and through me again/through me again/through me again…” -Never Seen Blue, Tori Amos