Sizzle Says

(I’m serious when I say this post is not about me. It is really and truly about my friend. No joke!)

I have this friend who is trying her hand at internet dating for the first time. She’s been on a few dates with a few fellas but no one has really sparked her interest past a second or third date. She discovered a guy who, in his profile, really excited her and appeared to be cute in an art geek way- totally her “type.” They email and then go out but upon meeting in person she realizes that she isn’t as attracted to him physically as she was to his photos, that he seems a bit too taken aback that someone like her would want to go out with someone like him (whatever that kind of passive aggressive comment means) and that, sadly, he has halitosis.

We’re talking smell-it-from-across-the-table-dragon-breath.

She’s a nice girl and she has tried to dismiss these red flags, attributing the lack of cuteness to the lighting and the comment to possible shyness and his bad breath to an addiction to coffee. It IS Seattle after all. But we all know that being “nice” is only going to get her so far.

So she agreed to a second date where, sadly, even more red flags start flying. And worse yet, the halitosis is still strong. It can’t be blamed on coffee. Something has died in there! There has been no kissing. Oh no. And there will never be any.

This guy has emailed and called post-second date, clearly interested in my friend who, truth be told, is completely foxy, wicked smart and all that jazz. She’s a catch! (Though she could do some work on embracing that fact.) She’s waffling on telling him she’s not interested even though she is clearly NOT interested. We’ve been trying to give her pep talks and rally her to speak the truth kindly but she’s overly concerned with hurting his feelings.

I’m not saying to tell the guy his breath stinks but rather that she’s just not feeling it. There is no spark. This isn’t like making a fire where you just keep rubbing and rubbing two sticks together hoping it will ignite in a passionate flame. This is dating.

What would you do if you found yourself in this situation?

“Whoa…your love is in motion/And it’s spinning me around again/Whoa…your love is a fast song/And I’m dancing ’cause I’m loved again/Whoa…your love is a slow song/It’s resounding through my world again/Whoa…my heart is in motion/For the song inside of you”-Love Is A Fast Song, Copeland