Not Quite Total Debauchery

August 17, 2007 at 7:41 am | In fun & frolicking, sweet debauchery | 18 Comments

Sizz: I got drunk on PBR & Jameson.

Streets (my pal and my hair stylist): You drink like a man.

Sizz: Damn straight.

******************

I capped off a long Thursday with a stop off at The Whiskey which means, PBRs and Jameso n shots with The Mad Irishman. Which means, in layman’s terms, “hello sweet debauchery.” The Southern Bell couldn’t make it but Mad’s friend from Winnipeg, AC was there. When I arrived they were well into drunksville. Mad claiming a 4 on the drunk scale (10 being blotto) and AC precariously clinging to a 5. As the night wore on AC steadily climbed to a 10 and with that climb came an increase in how many times he hit on me. I believe his exact words were:

“I think you are a way rad girl.”

“We could go out for a seafood dinner. Sober.”

And at one point he said, “Because of you, I am going to pee in this toilet.” Those are the words of a drunk dude, for sure. For the record we weren’t at an actual toilet like he was going to show me how he pees in it. He was just on his way to the restroom. They had just told me the tale of when they got super drunk and AC pissed in the street. Oh yes, there is photographic evidence. I saw it on Mad’s phone.

Mad also tried to embarrass me by dragging me over to the DJ and introducing me, telling the guy that I “dig” him. This is a man who legally changed his name to Hubba and who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a mustache that curled up on the sides. Not that that doesn’t make him a terrific fella. He does good ink work as Mad’s right arm tattoo can attest. He just wasn’t my type. Apparently though, I was drunk enough to get talked into taking photos that may or may not be used as blackmail later on. And no, you can’t see them.

We capped the night off with some chicken shwarma because none of us had eaten any dinner. At the restaurant while we were waiting on our food AC proceeded to do push ups on the dirty floor and to dump ice cubes out of the machine into his mouth and then throw his head back spitting them up in the air to catch them. He was definitely past a 10 on the drunkenness scale. Back at Mad’s place, we scarfed the grub, drank some water and watched a little Rescue Me on the tube. I promptly fell asleep on the leather couch and woke up to them both looking at me. How unsexy of me.

I made it home in one piece though and am not drunk this morning. This is progress, people.

“Over the great blue oceans/And then over the cities filled with light/I know we’ll be together tomorrow/But I’ll dream of you tonight/The world gets quiet in an ordinary minute/In the middle of the afternoon/We cross the street in the course of a day/And our eyes fix miles away…/The bird on a windowsill, he sings like a bell/Like lonesome lovers do/I’m sure as ever now; I’m scared as hell/I’m coming home to you” – I’ll Dream of You Tonight, Hem

18 Comments »

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*sigh*
I SO commented and WordPress pulled a Blogspot and ate it.

You claim sobriety, but *ahem* did you avoid a hangover?!?! :) Thanks to a bachelorette party of epic proportions, I’ve given up alcohol . . for now.

Shall there be a sober discussion of seafood dinners with this man who finds you to be “way rad”? I find him endearing already!

Comment by Meghan — August 17, 2007 #
Fun without a hangover, sign me up!

Comment by Skyzi — August 17, 2007 #
I generally save debauchery for vacations and getaways… but with the thought of actually feeling human the next day, we may have to talk. ;)

Comment by justrun — August 17, 2007 #
Oh, I am so jealous you can do that and not pay the next morning! I was out Weds night, drank yet didn’t eat and OMG, I was such a mess yesterday I called in sick. I do recall there was a time I could engage in that behavior w/o the hangover…those days are gone apparently. Worse, I come to work this morning and the guys say they have me on video ‘dancing’. WTF? I swear I don’t recall dancing anywhere. I wasn’t that bad… Glad to hear you had some fun, have a great weekend!

Comment by mackies — August 17, 2007 #
Oh, to be YOUNG and able to do these things… me? I’d be laid up for a week in recovery. ;)

Comment by sue — August 17, 2007 #
Ha ha! I need more wild and crazy friends again. :)

Comment by diane — August 17, 2007 #
Sounds like you had a great night. I love when you’re all debaucherous and shit.

Comment by alissa — August 17, 2007 #
I never realized how much I missed nights like these until I read this post.

I am almost jealous.

Great blog!

Comment by thatgirl7278 — August 17, 2007 #
I peed in the street one night in Seattle, off the overpass over Owl & Thistle. A cop walked by on the other side of the street and yelled at me, “that’s a nice place to pee!”

I just kept peeing and waved at him, “thanks officer!”

Oh, to not get hungover, it would be so nice.

Comment by Whit — August 17, 2007 #
Progress and a FABULOUS night! I’m quite jealous! :)

Comment by Bre — August 17, 2007 #
Woohoo!! Sounds like my kinda night! :) Have I mentioned how I wish we lived closer to each other?

Comment by Lisa — August 17, 2007 #
YOU ROCK!

Comment by Esmerelda — August 17, 2007 #
Ha ha ha “because of you, I am goign to pee in this toilet” is the best drunken line I have heard in ages!

Comment by Guilty Secret — August 18, 2007 #
Jameson…blech.

Comment by Dawn — August 18, 2007 #
I feel upside down on days you don’t post.

Comment by Bob — August 18, 2007 #
The toilet line is a great line. Somehow I just don’t think it would work quite as well sober.

It freaks me out to wake up with someone looking at me. I’m always like, how long have they been staring, like two hours?

Comment by Bone — August 19, 2007 #
tell me you didn’t slobber on the couch.

your evening sounded way better than mine. i was ironing until 3am. crazy, i know.

Comment by gorillabuns — August 20, 2007 #
[...] I attended (underwearless) (I’m sorry Mom) and possibly still a little inebriated. I enjoy the occasional night of debauchery but they are few and far between. My body can’t hack it. My mind isn’t [...]

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