Uh, Your Pants Are On Fire

August 25, 2007 at 7:19 am | In everyday frustrations, life lessons, processing, soapbox | 20 Comments

It seems that honesty and its nemesis, lying, are my blog themes for the week.

If there is one thing that never fails to offend me, it is lying.

Take this chick who was working the summer at our office. She has a Princess Complex which means she doesn’t do any work but pawns it off on others but then tries to make it look like she did it herself. She has a problem with arriving on time or staying for an entire shift. This one day she was supposed to arrive at 9am for a staff meeting. She never showed at the meeting. Come 10:00am I am in her office area meeting with some volunteers and her desk appears undisturbed. She has clearly not been in the office. Come 10:30 when I am passing back by her desk, she’s there looking like she just arrived (Computer not yet turned on. Purse and keys out on the desk.). I ask her where she had been since technically I was her supervisor I had every right to inquire. She says she was there, at her desk. I look at her with my head tilted, curiously. “Really? Because I was just here thirty minutes ago and you weren’t here nor were you in the mandatory meeting.” She then goes off on some tangent about being downstairs in the parking lot and how she didn’t know how to get up from the parking level to the building. Excuse me? How dumb do you think I am? Monkeys could figure out how to get up in the ELEVATOR. And didn’t you just say you were “here”?

Um, yeah. That shit don’t fly with me.

It’s worse when someone you love lies to you. Especially when you have made it explicitly clear that lying is an unacceptable deal breaker to any good faith you might have. Especially when you have, time and time again, said that you would rather hear the truth, no matter how painful, than be lied to. Lying to a person is insulting and disrespectful. And really, what’s the point of lying when it all comes out eventually? A person can’t keep up their lying forever. Don’t those people get fucking exhausted by it all?

If someone lies to me whatever trust I had in them disappears. The hardest part for me besides how painful it is to lose trust in someone you care about is that I begin to doubt my OWN judgment. I wonder if I am a fool or maybe too gullible. I become guarded and closed off. I hate being guarded and closed off.

It makes me wonder what you think of me when you pull that shit with me. Why is it so hard to tell the truth? Or have integrity? Does being a person of character not matter to anyone anymore?

“A girl, a boy, a hell/Like thieves we are/All in love/With stolen hearts/And we all fall down/And fall apart for love…” -Thieving, Lovedrug

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The truth is my thing too. When I was younger I thought it was easier to make up a story and not get in trouble than it was to tell the truth and deal with the consequences. Yanno until I got caught. I have come to realize (and have tried to instill in my kids) that telling the truth is just easier in the end. It may not seem like the easiest thing to do at the time, but in the end it will be.

Comment by G-man — August 25, 2007 #
I totally think lying isn’t worth the effort. I can’t keep my story straight anyways.
To sound completely old, I’m starting to think that lying is a young person’s activity – my students consistently think that it’s easier to lie to me later than finish their assignment in the now. If they’d just apply their creativity/imagination/effort to what I’d originally asked them to do, it would be a much easier time for all of us.

Comment by Sarah — August 25, 2007 #
Hell-to-the-Yeah.

I would much rather work within the parameters of the truth, than sit there and think, “Am I going crazy? really?”, trying to figure it out.PFfft. No more.(I hope)
People who lie to me, especially if I love and trust them? It just enrages me. I guess it’s the breach, or fool factor, when here I trusted.

Comment by Bully — August 25, 2007 #
I much prefer the truth.
I have worked with princesses. The lies they come up with always amaze me. An hour and a half to figure out the elevator – that might take it to a new level. It sounds like she is gone or is leaving soon? I hope so for your sake.

Comment by kim — August 25, 2007 #
The thing about those princesses is that one of these days, it’s going to come around to them, and life will be a very rude awakening.

I always say that I only tell one story, the truth. It’s way too difficult to keep track of lies and not take some responsibility for your actions. I’m a crappy liar anyway.

Comment by Fluffy Cat — August 25, 2007 #
Oh Sizz, my long lost friend. :) I am so with you on this one. Lying is cowardice, plain and simple. Now, I’m not saying we need tell the truth ALl the time (i.e, an answer to “do I look like I gained 10 lbs?” should ALWAYS be no–heh) but there is no reason to lie instead of fessing up. Because when your lie is found out, it is 100x worse.

Comment by diane — August 25, 2007 #
“If someone lies to me whatever trust I had in them disappears…I become guarded and closed off.” <– I’m the exact same way. There were major trust issues in my last relationship and I stayed against my better judgment. Why can’t people just be honest and direct?

Comment by Michelle — August 25, 2007 #
Being a person of character matters to people who do, in fact, have good character. Those who don’t show good characteristics? Aren’t.

Comment by sandra — August 25, 2007 #
Doesn’t it seem like societal values have diminished since we were kids? Not to like, make us feel old and all that shit, but seriously….people find it so easy to lie even about the small things.

Comment by Hilly — August 25, 2007 #
this is a lesson i’ve been repeatedly on my four year olds as about.

sometimes, i don’t think stone-cold liars were ever called out on it when they were kids.

Comment by gorillabuns — August 25, 2007 #
My mother always told me that if I was going to lie about things, I had to have a darn good memory or I would get caught! Since I never wanted to count on my memory, it seemed easier to just tell the truth.

Comment by Sandi — August 25, 2007 #
Sizzle, are you the same person? Sometimes, it’s like you are reading my mind girl. I too can’t stand it when someone lies to my face. (does lying about your age count? Because that I will allow.) And I have been know to repeat the phase “Do you smell that? I think it’s your pants because they are on fire.”
:)

Comment by hotpinksox — August 25, 2007 #
Oh I meant, the same person as me.

Gees! No more blog commenting late at night for me.

Comment by hotpinksox — August 25, 2007 #
I love the title, very creative as always!
I hate lies and liers as well. It is a total deal breaker for me too. I’m a terrible lier, but I don’t think I’d lie even if I was good at it, it’s one of those “qualities” I’ve never bothered to improve as I know it would be a waist of my time. I think the part which most upsets me about being lied to is being taken for a fool, what do they think we’re not going to notice? It truly infuriates me to be lied to.

Comment by Jen — August 25, 2007 #
Your co-worker sounds like she needs a good kick in the knees.

Comment by Airam — August 25, 2007 #
I despise people that try and take credit for work I have done. I dont care if you dont say who did it, but if you make it seem like you did it, when I did… no good.

Does being a person of character not matter to anyone anymore?
It matters to me.

Comment by Scotty — August 26, 2007 #
Abso-frakking-lutely! Being lied to drives me crazy like nothing else. And it does make me doubt myself. Every time it occurs. I doubt my judgment enough as it is. I don’t need anyone adding that fire ammution, thanks.

Comment by claire — August 26, 2007 #
Hate the liars! Seriously, there’s just NO need for it.

Comment by Lisa — August 27, 2007 #
If someone lies to me whatever trust I had in them disappears. The hardest part for me besides how painful it is to lose trust in someone you care about is that I begin to doubt my OWN judgment. I wonder if I am a fool or maybe too gullible. I become guarded and closed off. I hate being guarded and closed off.

You just said exactly how I feel better than I ever could have said it. And then almost inevitably, others wind up paying for the lies someone else told.

Ugh.

Comment by Bone — August 27, 2007 #
Ugh. I can’t stand liars either. I’ve been reading all these martial arts books and in another time people really cared about thier character and honor. Now, not so much.

I once told my husband that if I asked him what color shirt he was wearing and he told me red when he was actually wearing green. . .it would be over. That’s how much I hate even little lies.

Comment by Black Belt Mama — August 27, 2007 #