What I Learned on the 221

September 24, 2007 at 7:41 am | In fun & frolicking, life lessons, spazzing |

I spent 20 minutes standing on this number yesterday.

Why? Good question.

You see, Hunter and I had just arrived at the parking lot, psyched for the football game and decked out in blue and green. (Goooo Seahawks!) We’d paid the $10 for the space and were 2 blocks away when he realized that (d’oh!) he’d left the tickets on the fridge back at his apartment. Hunter is really good at beating himself up. I mean like he can put my self-flagellation to shame. (We all know I’m a master.) We decided that he’d rush back to get the tickets while I stayed in the parking space, holding it for the car. We’d already paid. It was rightfully ours.

As he carefully yet speedily made his way back toward Capital Hill, I stood. Our space was located right when cars turn into the lot. People would slow down as they passed, looking at me with quizzical expressions. I would smile. (Kill them with kindness technique!) When the stares got to be too much, I would just look down at the ground. (Avoidance technique!) A couple of times people rolled their windows down and inquired about the space. Apologetically, I responded that we had already paid for the space but had mistakenly left our tickets back home. One guy had the nerve to say, “So the car is NOT here, right?” Like I was some asshole. Duh the car is not here. Do you see the car, you dicktard? No. Why you gotta try and shame me? F off!

My overwhelming desire to explain myself completely irritated me. It’s none of their business! Why don’t they bugger off!? If I was in their shoes I would have kept looking for a space. There were plenty in the lot. Ugh! Nice girl persona you really irk me. Go away!

I thought I might be nearing a mini-panic attack if he didn’t hurry up. I was not, in any way, upset with Hunter. I could stand there, on that number, and know that this was good practice for me. To not care what people think. To not overthink what people think. To not spaz out when trying to practice my new way of being. And yet I wanted it to be over. It felt excruciating being stuck inside my internal battle.

And then he drove up and relief washed over me. I took a deep breath and we made our way to the stadium.

For the record? I had a fantastic time at the game. Me! A football naysayer. But it was so much different being in the stands with the die hard fans, their energy is SO infectious that I couldn’t help but cheer along. Luckily for me, Hunter is good at explaining things (“You see, football is like a violent chess match. . .”) AND the Seahawks beat the Bengals 24-21. Take that! Woo!

I might even by a Seahawks t-shirt. Now that’s commitment.

“This is my skeleton/this is the skin it’s in/that is, according to light and gravity/I’ll take off my disguise/the mask you met me in/’cuz I got something/for you to see/just gimme your skeleton/give me the skin it’s in/yeah baby, this is you/according to me/I never avert my eyes/I never compromise/so nevermind the poetry…” -Shameless, Ani DiFranco

19 Comments »

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Yeah! Woohoo FOOTBALL!

And good job on holding your ground in 221!

Comment by justrun — September 24, 2007 #
Woohoo! I’m so glad you liked the game. It is infectious. There was a guy sitting in front of us Saturday attending his first game. At the start, he was just kind of sitting there staring at everyone else cheering. But by the end, he was standing and giving hi-fives. (Which are, by the way, only still socially acceptable at sporting events.)

Comment by Bone — September 24, 2007 #
What a great exercise for you. I’m glad you had a good time at the game.

Comment by alissa — September 24, 2007 #
justrun- thanks for the props!

bone- i saw a lot of high fiving. good to know where and when it is acceptable. ;)

alissa- it was a great exercise for me though at the time i wanted to run away. ha.

Comment by sizzle — September 24, 2007 #
Wow. You’re much better than I am. I would have caved… ;)

Comment by sue — September 24, 2007 #
Good girl. Soon, you too will become the master of the “Yeah? What are YOU looking at? I totally own this space!” way of life. With practice you will also be able to not only stand your ground, but then mess with people while you’re doing it (”My sister went into labor and her husband had to rush her to the hospital, but he’ll be right back with the car…” or “I don’t actually HAVE a car, I just wanted a space to hang out until I go inside for the game…”) It’s fun.
And becoming a football fan? Outstanding!

Comment by Laurel — September 24, 2007 #
That’s awesome that you stayed in the space…. it would be funny if you said that you were using the spot for a tailgate party.

Comment by Fluffycat — September 24, 2007 #
I think its hilarious that you stood in the spot.

Too bad Hunter didn’t have a lawn chair in his trunk - then you could’ve pretended you were having a tailgate party for one:)

Comment by snowflake37 — September 24, 2007 #
sue- i am trying to change! it’s not easy. :)

laurel- i am soooo bad at coming up with lies. maybe if i’d had some beers…

fluffycat- i really wish i had said that!

snowflake- note to self: put lawn chair in hunter’s car.

Comment by sizzlesays — September 24, 2007 #
I’m so glad you enjoyed the game! Hopefully you’ll love it as much as I do…*tear*!
Sometimes you gotta tell the nice girl persona to go away…

Comment by Ruby — September 24, 2007 #
psyched for the football game and decked out in blue and green. (Goooo Seahawks!)

Awww, that was so fun to read! Knowing that you’re being taken in by the football cult… sigh. Good for you.

Comment by TC — September 24, 2007 #
I thought this was going to be a post about a cakewalk. You went to a football game?! Good for you!

Comment by whit — September 24, 2007 #
ruby- let’s take this game by game, shall we? :)

tc- they made me do weird football rituals! ok, not really… heh.

whit- mmm cake. yeah, there were only BEEFcakes where i was.

Comment by sizzlesays — September 24, 2007 #
Well done, great blog and great posts!!!

Comment by Carro Aluguel Loja — September 24, 2007 #
Sometimes you are so me, it’s scary.

Comment by aimee/greeblemonkey — September 24, 2007 #
Football is definitely better enjoyed in person. Even me, a Texan will tell you football can be a bit boring otherwise. Although I think the Texan part of me is cancelled out by the ‘girly girl’ part of me. So now I just kinda like it and root for my home/school teams. Totally feel you on the anxious thing. I would have felt the same way. That feeling of relief is awesome, isn’t it?

Comment by Megan — September 24, 2007 #
carro- thanks!

aimee- i almost feel like i should apologize. ;)

megan- the relief was sooo sweet. phew!

Comment by sizzlesays — September 25, 2007 #
Nobody threatened to take a Club™ to you for space #221?

Comment by egan — September 25, 2007 #
I’m sure that was awkward for you, but I would have totally understood if you’d already paid for that spot (esp. $10). I bought tickets for the Rams game on Oct. 21 for Ted’s birthday, so I’m really looking forward to seeing a game in-person.

Comment by Becky — September 25, 2007 #