Comments on: The Unlearning: Take 1 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/ Don't Rain On My Parade Thu, 03 Dec 2009 04:57:44 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: jenny http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20776 jenny Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:19:22 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20776 you are brave. you are strong. and you don't always have to be. you are also soft. you are also vulnerable. you are compassion. and you are beautiful. you are loved. loved. loved. and in those ways you deserve. remember that. i love you xo j you are brave. you are strong. and you don’t always have to be. you are also soft. you are also vulnerable. you are compassion. and you are beautiful. you are loved. loved. loved. and in those ways you deserve.

remember that.

i love you
xo
j

]]> By: aimee/greeblemonkey http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20759 aimee/greeblemonkey Thu, 04 Oct 2007 02:47:35 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20759 Oh god, darlin. We've talked about this, but DAMN our childhoods and resulting emotional turmoil are SO SIMILAR. Yet again, I could have written this whole post. (But not as well). I do thank my lucky stars every day that I found Bryan and he helped me pull out of that mess. I sure hope that you either find someone to help you with it, or more importantly, do it for yourself. You sure seem like you are on the way. Hugs. Oh god, darlin. We’ve talked about this, but DAMN our childhoods and resulting emotional turmoil are SO SIMILAR. Yet again, I could have written this whole post. (But not as well).

I do thank my lucky stars every day that I found Bryan and he helped me pull out of that mess. I sure hope that you either find someone to help you with it, or more importantly, do it for yourself. You sure seem like you are on the way.

Hugs.

]]> By: Patty http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20755 Patty Thu, 04 Oct 2007 01:33:30 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20755 I understand what you are saying about your dad. My dad was somewhat like yours. He was an alcoholic but kinda of kept to himself and got snockered a lot and occassionally he would hurl out some awful comment. He was emotionally distant and even though he has now beat the alcohol demon it seems we are still distant. It's just the way it/he is. I saw myself in what you said about picking men that were unavailable. I mean, they were single but they weren't emotional available to me. They were the bad boys. I don't know how I broke that pattern years ago. I let the nice guy in and gave him a chance and it worked out. Not to say we haven't had our share of troubles over the years. Anyway, I'm just rambling on. I think you are on the right track. You can look at the past and understand what happened. You can look at it and pick it apart. Maybe you can move on and change this pattern and forgive your father? It took me a long time to do that and it ate away at me. I only wish the best for you sizzle and want that bright future for you!! I understand what you are saying about your dad. My dad was somewhat like yours. He was an alcoholic but kinda of kept to himself and got snockered a lot and occassionally he would hurl out some awful comment. He was emotionally distant and even though he has now beat the alcohol demon it seems we are still distant. It’s just the way it/he is. I saw myself in what you said about picking men that were unavailable. I mean, they were single but they weren’t emotional available to me. They were the bad boys. I don’t know how I broke that pattern years ago. I let the nice guy in and gave him a chance and it worked out. Not to say we haven’t had our share of troubles over the years. Anyway, I’m just rambling on.
I think you are on the right track. You can look at the past and understand what happened. You can look at it and pick it apart. Maybe you can move on and change this pattern and forgive your father? It took me a long time to do that and it ate away at me. I only wish the best for you sizzle and want that bright future for you!!

]]> By: LVGurl http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20732 LVGurl Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:00:09 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20732 Rats! I'm behind on commenting again. Thank YOU, Sizz! I love your posts, and I can relate to you :) Rats! I’m behind on commenting again.

Thank YOU, Sizz! I love your posts, and I can relate to you
:)

]]> By: Lisa http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20729 Lisa Wed, 03 Oct 2007 13:04:54 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20729 I don't even know what to say because I've been in your shoes. (((((HUGS))))) I don’t even know what to say because I’ve been in your shoes.

(((((HUGS)))))

]]> By: Ruby http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20723 Ruby Wed, 03 Oct 2007 03:11:47 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20723 You are amazing. I am constantly blown away by how analytical, introspective and honest you are. Acknowledging your history, learned behaviors, your choices and their effects takes alot of guts. I'm so impressed with how straight up you are about things and how you're working on who you are. Go Sizzle! You are amazing.

I am constantly blown away by how analytical, introspective and honest you are. Acknowledging your history, learned behaviors, your choices and their effects takes alot of guts. I’m so impressed with how straight up you are about things and how you’re working on who you are. Go Sizzle!

]]> By: Jen http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20722 Jen Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:45:46 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20722 I can't begin to imagine what this must have been like for you, and now living with the consequences of someone else's ill life decisions... it just doesn't seem fair. But you're a strong one, and a product of what you have lived, both the good and the bad, and for that you should be grateful and proud. I've always liked the phrase "dress up for the job you want and not for the one have", and I think it might just apply here. If you assume an attitude of confidence and self-love, others will believe this and act accordingly, and eventually so will you. One doesn't necessarily need to change internally first and then acquire the attitude/behavior. You can assume the behavior/attitude component and the belief will surely fallow. I read an article some months ago on depression and smiling. They said that if a person forced themselves to smile, even when they didn't really feel like it, eventually facial muscles would send the message to the brain "if your smiling, you must be happy", so the brain was "tricked" into feeling happy, and eventually the person's depression would diminish. I think you could do the same here. Act confident, worthy, and self-loved, and sooner than later you will be. In the meantime lots of hugs will be sent your way : ) I can’t begin to imagine what this must have been like for you, and now living with the consequences of someone else’s ill life decisions… it just doesn’t seem fair. But you’re a strong one, and a product of what you have lived, both the good and the bad, and for that you should be grateful and proud.

I’ve always liked the phrase “dress up for the job you want and not for the one have”, and I think it might just apply here. If you assume an attitude of confidence and self-love, others will believe this and act accordingly, and eventually so will you. One doesn’t necessarily need to change internally first and then acquire the attitude/behavior. You can assume the behavior/attitude component and the belief will surely fallow.

I read an article some months ago on depression and smiling. They said that if a person forced themselves to smile, even when they didn’t really feel like it, eventually facial muscles would send the message to the brain “if your smiling, you must be happy”, so the brain was “tricked” into feeling happy, and eventually the person’s depression would diminish. I think you could do the same here. Act confident, worthy, and self-loved, and sooner than later you will be. In the meantime lots of hugs will be sent your way : )

]]> By: Alison http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20720 Alison Wed, 03 Oct 2007 01:52:51 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20720 All I can do is offer you a few hundred hugs. All I can do is offer you a few hundred hugs.

]]> By: The Diva's Thought's http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20717 The Diva's Thought's Tue, 02 Oct 2007 23:51:38 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20717 This is pretty deep. Changing a behavior that is part of our characteristic/personality is extremely difficult. I applaud you. This is pretty deep. Changing a behavior that is part of our characteristic/personality is extremely difficult. I applaud you.

]]> By: TC http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20712 TC Tue, 02 Oct 2007 19:35:17 +0000 http://sizzlesays.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/the-unlearning-take-1/#comment-20712 <i>If I was enough, why wouldn’t they choose me? How could they say they love me so very much and yet…not come through on any of their promises?</i> I think - I guess I hope at least - that this is a natural thought many people have at some point in time. It's horrible, and heartbreaking, but you aren't alone in that. *hugs* If I was enough, why wouldn’t they choose me? How could they say they love me so very much and yet…not come through on any of their promises?

I think – I guess I hope at least – that this is a natural thought many people have at some point in time. It’s horrible, and heartbreaking, but you aren’t alone in that.

*hugs*

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