Focusing on Abundance: A New Tactic

October 27, 2007 at 9:03 am | In big dreams, living out loud, spazzing | 21 Comments

My Daily Om Horoscope hit the nail on the head. It basically said that I am preoccupied by my perceived lack of abundance. In my case, it’s financial. After receiving my paycheck yesterday, I went into panic mode. All I could do was think of how broke I am and how on earth am I going to live on $160 for two weeks when I need to eat and get my car maintenanced and buy flea control for my cats and afford to get my WA license (finally) and fix my vacuum and buy my friend a birthday present and pay for gas to fuel my car and and and and…

You see? My mind when haywire. I flipped. Money makes me crazy. I’ve never had a lot of it so I only know how to get by or to freak out. This is not a good way to live.

And yet, I know I am so incredibly lucky. I have a cute apartment in a hip and fun neighborhood in a city that I adore. I have a job that I excel at and feel fulfilled by even when I am stressed or irritated at an agency that is doing amazing work with kids. I am surrounded by loving friends and family who respect and cherish me and who I, in turn, love to pieces. I was privileged to get a college degree and blessed to have parents that made me wear braces (see: my straight pearly whites). I have clothes to wear that aren’t too out of date and a good, reliable car to drive. I have limitless possibility. I have boundless options. I have the world at my feet.

I’ve got to stop freaking out every time I look at my checkbook balance. I need to rethink how I see this situation because clearly the way I’ve been going about it is just begetting more freaking out. Me in panic mode is not pretty.

Deep breath.

I believe that there is a way out of this current financial state. It allows me to stay at my current agency but hopefully in a new capacity that pays me what I am worth. It helps me to afford a lifestyle suitable for a 34 year old college educated woman living in a hip, urban city. It eases my constant worry about paying my debts.

It is totally possible.

Most things are if you just BELIEVE.

“Walking around./You know I’ve had enough of this trouble/following me high and low. Now it can go.” -Walking Around, The Innocence Mission

21 Comments »

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I like your resolution at the end there. You have alot, you are grateful, and you are thinking positively! (I like the lifestyle in the hip urban city part, too!)

Prioritize what needs buying. Food, Gas, immediate bills, License…and down it goes. The cats have food, they’ll be fine.:-) Just give them plenty of kisses.

Comment by BullysE — October 27, 2007 #
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that it all works out. I can very much relate… just on a larger scale. My husband told me when I first came to the farm that I would see more money come in than I ever have in my life… but that I would also write bigger checks and pay bigger bills than I had every imagined. He was so right. I freak out regularily.

Comment by sue — October 27, 2007 #
you took a positive spin on a stressful subject. sounds like you have a lot going for you, and you will get through this fincial stress. now I sound like an astrologer. :)

Comment by brookem — October 27, 2007 #
Wow. I feel like you are inside my head on this one.

Good luck, lady!

Comment by abbersnail — October 27, 2007 #
Thanks for rubbing it in that you have bright shiny pearly whites. :)

I wish I had parents who made me wear my retainer after my braces…

And seriously, in times like that, I resort to cooking and being as creative as I can with the items I have in my pantry. There’s actually an official name for it – which I forget – but it’s kind of fun. Think of it as a challenge.

Comment by Eileen Dover — October 27, 2007 #
It probably doesn’t help any, but I don’t think anyone in panic mode is pretty ;-)

Comment by TC — October 27, 2007 #
Here is some ‘believing’ from the blogosphere heading your way!

Comment by NerdGirl — October 27, 2007 #
Yup, going through the same panic mode you are. I try to keep believing, but it gets harder every day.

Comment by Lisa — October 28, 2007 #
Dude, I know for a fact that if you just keeping doing the next right thing, everything will work out.
Well done you, for making the gratitude list while freaking. That’s almost Zen.

Comment by Tracy Lynn — October 28, 2007 #
You know what – even I have trouble with this one.

I mean, I am usually the optimistic one, but I do get those moments where I completely freak out (though usually internally) about what’s happening when and where and how much is it gonna cost me.

But you’re right to be thankful for what you do have. And it’s good to learn that everything will be fine. because one way or another – it always works out okay.

The breathing helps too.

Comment by Mr. Rodacre — October 28, 2007 #
If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

I think that was from Henry Ford.

I think you can and you should too.

Comment by Airam — October 28, 2007 #
I think waiting for my paycheck (or the lack thereof) is the most terrifying part of my month.

I love your positivity! :)

Comment by Bre — October 28, 2007 #
Try not having an income for the last four months while living with your mother and your brother.

Bet you feel pretty damn good about that checkbook now, huh?

Comment by scarlet hip — October 28, 2007 #
Oh do I know that feeling. I like that you reached a resolution… that’s got to feel good, no matter how it unfolds. It’s important to be able to find a way to tell yourself “we’re going to work this out.”

Comment by justrun — October 29, 2007 #
*Big HUGS* for your Monday. Have a extra cuppa tea, and fortify yourself for the week to come!

Comment by BullysE — October 29, 2007 #
You are truly blessed! When I get down about something (like money) I remind myself of all the things I do have and how much others are doing without. Then i’m able to handle my situation better. It will all work out…. *hugs*

Comment by Kerry — October 29, 2007 #
Sometimes we have to take inventory rather than look at the list of things we don’t have.

If we spent all our time focusing on the things we don’t have, I don’t think we’d be able to see any light at the end of the tunnel (at all).

Comment by Tobiwan — October 29, 2007 #
I agree, you have to believe anything is possible, but in this case you also have to act. I don’t think it’s a matter of altering your lifestyle to fit your pay check, but altering your pay check to fit your life. Sizz I think it’s time to reconsider your job, in terms of money. Talk to your boss, let him/her know your situation, weigh your options within the place you work, view possibilities elsewhere, etc. There are possibilities to make more money, but you do need to go out there and find them.

Comment by Jen — October 29, 2007 #
It seems I’m always thinking about what I don’t have. Thanks for the reminder to focus on all I do have, Sizz. (Can I call you Sizz?)

Comment by Bone — October 29, 2007 #
Oh pretty girlie, I am in the same situation as you are right now. I haven’t gotten paid for the whole month of September or October, and I am about to break down and cry. Especially after seeing those beautiful 30-euro black suede boots with the leopard print interior last night…*sigh*

…*sob*sob*

Comment by Michelle — October 30, 2007 #
i live this daily. i just wish someone would pay us!

ebay, that’s the answer! sell some shit on ebay. that’s what i keep telling myself.

Comment by gorillabuns — October 30, 2007 #