Burned On My Brain « Sizzle Says

Burned On My Brain

November 15, 2007 at 9:22 am | In mountain out of a molehill, my neurosis | 32 Comments

I was actually leaving the house early anticipating an arrival at work before 8:30am. The air was crisp but without rain. I’d gotten a good night’s sleep and I didn’t burn my eggs. Things were looking up.

I was about two blocks into my ten minute drive to work when I saw something floating about in the distance in the road. As my car approached, the floating thing seemed to resemble a plastic bag flitting about. But I was very, very wrong. As I got even closer, I realized I was looking at a squirrel that had just been hit by a car. He had been hit in the head but his body was still going. Fighting with its last strength it was throwing its body this way and that, trashing along the road.

It. Was. Horrible.

All day this image was burned into my head. At random moments I would recall it and shudder. Driving home from work I was panicking that I would come upon it as I drove the same street as I did ten hours before when I witnessed Frederico’s death (that’s what I named him). It was dark and rainy at that time and there were lots of cars so I either missed seeing him lying in the road or he was gone.

It is no secret that I am an overly-empathetic sap but seriously, when it comes to animals, I just get so affected. I know all about natural selection and that shit happens but little Frederico didn’t deserve to die such a horrific death. Poor little fella.

“What am I to you/Tell me darling true/To me you are the sea/Vast as you can be/And deep the shade of blue/When you’re feeling low/To whom else do you go/See I cry if you hurt/I’d give you my last shirt/Because I love you so…” -What Am I To You?, Norah Jones

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The first and only animal that I ever killed was a coyote that wandered into the road. It was late at night and it just dashed out in front of my Van. Unfortunately, despite my attempts, I couldn’t veer away quickly enough.

Needless to say, I still feel a pang of guilt about to this day.

Anyway, I tend to be an empathetic person as well, so I just prefer to keep my blinders on when I drive (when it comes to examining roadkill).

Comment by Tobiwan — November 15, 2007 #
I am the same way with animals. Very sad, even when people give you that “circle of life” line. It’s just a bummer when you see it.

Comment by justrun — November 15, 2007 #
Oh, that is horrible!

Comment by alissa — November 15, 2007 #
i would broken down in tears for sure, i hate seeing animals along the road – thank GOD i’ve never hit anything big like a deer… everyone else in my family has, but me… :o(

Comment by jodi — November 15, 2007 #
I get choked up any time I see a dead bird in a bush or on the sidewalk. So I know how that goes. Sorry you had to see poor Frederico’s last moments. Try to think about playful puppies and kittens and your nephew instead!

Comment by diane — November 15, 2007 #
I don’t suppose it helps to tell you that naming him didn’t help the situation, does it? :)

Comment by TC — November 15, 2007 #
I tend to cry when I see animals get hurt…I ran over a family of raccoons once when I lived in the North Woods…Yes, babies were involved. I cried. A lot.

And I name feral cats when almost-husband and I go for walks.

We also keep points for who can spot the most feral cats on our walks.

Wow, that is a tad twisted when I put it in writing.

Comment by AppleTree — November 15, 2007 #
:( I can’t stand seeing things like that either! When I lived in Pottsville there were always wounded or dead deer by the side of the road – it was awful

Comment by Bre — November 15, 2007 #
Oh sweetie, I am TOTALLY like that. I have yet to kill anything with any kind of vehicle, thank heavens, and everytime I see a hit animal, I say a little prayer.

Of course, booze may help erase that image. I’m just sayin’.

Comment by Tracy Lynn — November 15, 2007 #
What is it with this week? I saw a dead kitten in the road on Monday morning and was traumatized all day. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his little body. Just a fantastic way to start the day. NOT! I have risked life and limb (will continue to, also) to rescue turtles crossing the road. Very common in FL, so it’s a frequent thing for me. I get BEYOND PISSED when people hit turtles. Seriously, they hardly move, how can you not avoid them?

Comment by mackies — November 15, 2007 #
oh that’s awful! im the same way. i once hit a possum a few years back, and i HAD to turn around to see if he was okay. he walked off the road and when i drove by later that day, he was gone… so i have to just tell myself he was alright. i hate that stuff.

Comment by brookem — November 15, 2007 #
Wah…. I’m a sap when it comes to animals too and that made me so sad. And I’m not too crazy about squirrels in general.

Comment by Fluffycat — November 15, 2007 #
I saw the same thing with a raccoon last year. I can’t STAND to see animals suffer.

Comment by Rick — November 15, 2007 #
Aww that would just tear me up. I’m stupidly sappy over animals. I get a lot of dead foxes on the road round by me and I just have to turn away or close my eyes every time.

Comment by Ys — November 15, 2007 #
Oh…that is sad. :-(
The squirrels here in the country, they play “Chicken” with the cars this time of year. Some young maybe, some cheeky…some maybe just nervously defending their stash of nuts, I don’t know. Sometimes they run right out in front of you, like in a race– and they do, eventually, lose. I always feel terrible about it. It’s a bad game.

It was an awful way to start your day. When we are empathetic towards someone or something else however? It makes us more aware of all the wonder there is, inside ourselves. We are way more than what we see.
We Feel. Even compassion for a squirrel is not wasted.
*hugs*

Comment by BullysE — November 15, 2007 #
Bummer. I’m with TC on the name point. Would it also help to know that squirrels don’t feel pain?

Comment by G-man — November 15, 2007 #
I react the same way…it literally makes my stomach turn…reason 4 million why I can’t watch any movies or TV shows where an animal gets hurt or dies. Every time I hug my little Higgy…I hope and pray that he lives a long, full life. I secretly pray that he lives forever…but that’s just between you and me.

Comment by Foo — November 15, 2007 #
Oh that’s just awful. So sorry your day had to start out that way.

Comment by Josie — November 15, 2007 #
Hmmm. Maybe you just got a tiny little glimpse into my life…

Comment by Detail Medic — November 15, 2007 #
I would have been fighting back tears too. A few days ago when I saw the pics of the oil-covered birds I had to restrain myself from bursting into tears here at work. I cannot stand to see helpless innocent victims suffer, and that list includes people.

hugs,
circe

(love the name you gave the squirrel)

Comment by circe — November 15, 2007 #
So strange, but I saw an expired cat in the middle of the highway today. Made me wonder whether the cat was hit. Or whether some thoughtless person dumped her there. Not to be bothered with a proper burial. Either way, anyone who can kill a living creature and let it suffer is heartless. Karma will come back to get them.

Comment by Nilsa S. — November 15, 2007 #
aw poor little fellow! you may have to start driving around with your eyes closed now! lol

Comment by NerdGirl — November 15, 2007 #
Great, now this is burned on my brain too : (

Comment by Jen — November 15, 2007 #
Ugh … that’s horrible.

Comment by Airam — November 15, 2007 #
that poor squirrel is how i feel most days. flopping around wishing someone would just finish the job.

sorry, your day started out crappy!

Comment by gorillabuns — November 15, 2007 #
{blink} {blink}

[thunk]

Comment by Lisa — November 15, 2007 #
I once had a box full of kittens that were sick; some kind of flu or something. They had gotten really bad and I got them medicine from the veterinarian. One of them died while I was giving it medicine. I think now that maybe I gave it too much. I must have been 10 or 11. I remember crying all day. Thankfully, the rest of them made it all right, and they all went to good homes.

Why can some people cry more at animals and less at human tragedies? I’m not saying you or anybody here, but I see that alot nowadays. I guess I’m bringing this party down. Enough.

Comment by Anthony S. — November 15, 2007 #
I’m sorry. Sorry for the squirrel. Sorry for you having witnessed its last moments. And most of all….sorry that I couldn’t help laughing at the thought of you burning eggs! Buahhaha! Who burns an egg? Your priceless. Hope your day is better.

Comment by Mumbly — November 16, 2007 #
Ah, yes… I can relate.

Comment by sue — November 16, 2007 #
Awww :-/

I’ve come close to wrecking a couple of times trying to dodge a dog or bunny rabbit or yes, even a bird. I know they say you’re not supposed to do that, but how can you not?

Comment by Bone — November 16, 2007 #
Did I just say “bunny rabbit”?

Comment by Bone — November 16, 2007 #
I hate seeing that. Poor lil guy. I ran over a large rabbit once and it did the same thing. The only thing I could do was drive over it again so it wouldn’t suffer. My Hubby told me that it was probably already dead and just nerves making it spasm like that. That made me feel a little better. It’s never pleasant feeling an animal under your tires.

Comment by Jessica — December 24, 2007 #