Sizzle Says

Firstly, remind me to never schedule a doctor’s appointment at 7:45am. That’s just too early. I will arrive late, a bit frazzled and without enough time to flat iron my hair. Secondly, remind me to find a new gyno because her waiting room is filled to the brim with pregnant ladies and she’s always canceling appointments because someone is in labor. And while I realize that’s her job, I am worried that the .1% that isn’t guaranteed by my birth control will somehow be the loophole by which I find myself with child. Because you can’t be around that much knocked upness and not have a little rub off on you. It’s somewhat comical that I am there to get a new prescription to prevent the very thing which all the women surrounding me are so happy about. Maybe someday. I’m just not ready. Don’t rush me.

Thirdly, I’ve tried two of Giada’s recipes and can’t say I am all that impressed. Fatty, fatty, fatty and somewhat bland. They are tolerable unlike her “Italian accent.” While Rachel Ray isn’t my favorite, at least her recipes are pretty good and easy. If I could just mute her and still learn how to cook, I would. Meanwhile, Nigella is the porn princess of the Food Network. Gah, she’s sexy. I don’t watch her for her recipes. I’ll say that much. Do any men find themselves having man crushes on Alton Brown? I’ve now counted three of my male friends who have confessed as much. It’s a geek boy thing.

I did color and cut my hair but I went to take a picture and realized that none of you will probably notice a difference. In person you can but if you just see the occasional picture of me on the blog, you’ll be like the boyfriend who is afraid to say he can’t tell you cut your hair. And then feelings will get hurt. We don’t want that, do we? I do have this fun panel of copper in the front though which makes me feel sassified. I’ve been wearing heeled shoes lately and skirts. It’s like I want to play grown up or something. I’m embracing the whole “How To Look Good Naked” meets “What Not To Wear” philosophy. This is my body, best dress it to its best and love it, regardless of if it changes or not.

That leads me to my fourth thing (or is it fifth? I hate counting.)- an idea I had. This might be ambitious but I was thinking the other day about doing a monthly or twice monthly advice column where a reader submits photos of themselves with information about their current style and what they like/don’t like about their bodies and in return, I give them support and tips about how to dress their body type and accentuate the positive. I am in no way an expert on this but I obsessively watch these shows, help my friends shop for clothes with good results and love to help people feel good about themselves. Would this just be a total flop? I am sure it couldn’t rival Whoorl’s Hair Thursdays (which are awesome and if you aren’t reading her/them, you’re bonkers) but I figure a lot of you have mentioned to me you would like help. Maybe I can help? Or is this just a ludicrous idea? Would you want to participate or vote on outfits?

“I bring out the worst in you, and you try to let me know/You bring out the worst in me, anxiety, anxiety/I’m trying to let you go, you say I’m giving you the creeps/So I assume the role, open my claws and grasp for your heart. . . “ -Violins, Lagwagon