Ask And You’ll Receive?

May 9, 2008 at 6:11 am | In float my boat |

The other day I told the Universe, “It’d be really awesome if chocolate magically appeared at my desk.” A little while later, I found a lone M & M hidden behind my office phone. I ate it and it was good. I thought maybe I was onto something so I said, “It’d be really awesome if some money magically appeared in my bank account, pocket, wallet or mailbox.” Because why not? I could use the cash. When I arrived home hours later, there was indeed a check in my mailbox. So then I figured, what the hell, and said, “It’d be really awesome if multiple orgasms magically appeared in my vagina.”

Because, hello , it totally would.

I must have pushed my luck too far. Sadly, sometimes third time isn’t a charm.

*This post is based on actual tweets I posted on Twitter. Apologies to those who are subjected to it twice.

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LOL! I actually saw that on twitter. Made me laugh. Have an awesome weekend (and keep wishing for the multiple orgasms)!

Comment by Marie — May 9, 2008 #
You should have started with that one. Because if you got the multiple orgasms and the check, you could have bought your own m&m’s.

This must be “the best tweet ever.”

Comment by kim — May 9, 2008 #
Good luck on the third wish! If it comes true…let me know who I need to be sending my request to. ASAFP!

=)

Comment by Ashmystir — May 9, 2008 #
So this is what I’m missing on Twitter? Damn it. If all tweets were this funny, I’d totally join.

Must go do some hard-core wishing for 3 hour kid naps and for a giant novelty check to be left on my doorstep - mama needs a new pair of shoes.

Comment by andi — May 9, 2008 #
I’m wanting your third request of the universe too. If you figure out the magic combo, I’d be most interested.
I hve no concrete plans this weekend…this could be a goal :)

Comment by Sarah — May 9, 2008 #
Hee hee. This was very cute. :)

Comment by diane — May 9, 2008 #
Next time START with that! ;)

Comment by kristi — May 9, 2008 #
Just be patient, it will come (hee hee).

Comment by punchlinewalking — May 9, 2008 #
I do not understand this “Tweet” or this “Twitter”
I must be old.

Comment by Non Fiction Burning — May 9, 2008 #
That’s awesome! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your third wish, but hey, I’d be happy with the chocolate and cash!

Comment by MoxieMamaKC — May 9, 2008 #
lol….thanks for your comment on my bogger site. i’m in the process of changing over (sites that is….)

i’ll have a long time to think and wish on my flight tonight…i think i’ll skip the chocolate and go right to the orgasms and money… :)

Comment by pacificfemme — May 9, 2008 #
whoops, i meant blogger…

Comment by pacificfemme — May 9, 2008 #
Sizz, it will come true, just tell the Fella instead of the universe and you’ll see ;)

Comment by Jen — May 9, 2008 #
Hehehe.
I’ll have to try my luck wishing this week.
I feel like I’m missing something on twitter…I haven’t had the heart to actually sign up for one. more. internet. time sucker.
sigh.

Comment by Shannon — May 9, 2008 #
Now I have the Meatloaf song “Two outta three ain’t bad” stuck in my head!
I heard a hilarious joke (sort of related) on Graham Norton’s show last night…
The definition of the perfect man is one that has a cock made of chocolate that ejaculates money!
Sorry but that cracked me up!!
Have a wonderful weekend, drink wine, it solves everything ;o)

Comment by Penelope — May 9, 2008 #
Dude, I would have just settled for the cash. Or, frankly, the chocolate.

Comment by Tracy Lynn — May 9, 2008 #
Chocolate and cash, how can you go wrong? I’m going to have to start talking to the Universe more often! Have a wonderful weekend, especially if you’ll be looking for m.o.’s!! :O)

Comment by Mysh — May 9, 2008 #
This post made my day. I’m sharing it!

Comment by freeandflawed — May 9, 2008 #
So wait. Your second wish came true? Actual cash? In your account? LOL. And good luck with that third one.

Comment by Kevin Spencer — May 9, 2008 #
Thanks for the laugh!! Wow you changed your look again, I like it. Have a good one, or two or three ;)

Comment by G-man — May 9, 2008 #
Wait! Don’t good things come in threes? I say ask again!

Comment by Diane Mandy — May 9, 2008 #
My man is always making your third wish come true. 13 isn’t too many is it??

If it was the cash or chocolate I’d share with ya…but this is one thing I won’t share ;) Sorry!

Comment by Rachel — May 9, 2008 #
Sweet! I’m totally asking the universe for a fun-loving, non-douchebag, commitment willing boyfriend!

Comment by Pants — May 9, 2008 #
Hysterical.

Comment by Nat — May 9, 2008 #
HILARIOUS! I needed a good laugh today. Thanks!

Comment by Nilsa S. — May 9, 2008 #
“It’d be really awesome if multiple orgasms magically appeared in my vagina.”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I can’t stop laughing!

Comment by baub88 — May 9, 2008 #
For some reason i kept thinking of the leprechaun from lucky charms. Their magically delicious.

Comment by mumbly — May 9, 2008 #
You cracked me up BOTH times!

Comment by Angella — May 9, 2008 #
If you have to ask for those, you are hanging out with the wrong guys.

I know the fella sounds great from everything you’ve posted so far but come on now.

If he isn’t doing everything humanly possible to give you those OMG multiple O’s every time you are together he needs an attitude adjustment.

If necessary, show him how to make it happen. Take him by the hand (or anything else necessary) and teach him. If he is much of a man at all he will be forever grateful for the knowledge and you will be smiling more than ever.

TAG

Comment by amature.gigolo — May 9, 2008 #
GAHHHHHH! How true is that?! Very!
Have a good weekend!

Comment by gibsondog — May 9, 2008 #
“…magically appeared in my vagina!” OMG
I just fell out of my chair.

Comment by Kandace — May 9, 2008 #
Oh my GOD that’s funny.

Really. I laughed out loud during my conference call.

Comment by esmerelda05 — May 9, 2008 #
HA! Good luck with that. ;)

Comment by The Dating Guru — May 9, 2008 #
Oh, I don’t know. I’ve pondered the whole multiple thing and I have come to the conclusion that with my husband and his “Manly” competitive syndrome it would turn into “How MANY orgasms can we make her have tonight because of my manly warrior wand?”

My vagina just cannot take that kind of assault.

So?

I’m good.

Comment by loralee — May 9, 2008 #
There’s still hope for #3, right? ;)

Comment by kilax — May 9, 2008 #
Ha. I think the universe can provide, but you want to be careful what you ask for since it can be literal. For instance, you wouldn’t multiple orgasms when you are at a work meeting or driving, would you? Hrm, or maybe I am just thinking of that magical monkey paw story.

Comment by Fluffycat — May 9, 2008 #
oh it’ll happen. if you BELIEVE.

Comment by Krystal — May 9, 2008 #
My level of respect for you just increased tenfold.

Comment by Mel Heth — May 9, 2008 #
I am going to try this.

Comment by Rhi — May 9, 2008 #
Haha, you crack me up! :)

Comment by Bre — May 9, 2008 #
I’m sorry about your 3rd try. But the chocolate and money sounds great! ;-)

Comment by Black Belt Mama — May 9, 2008 #
BWAAHHHH!!!
I just snorted wine out my nose but it was soo worth the burning sensation…and waste of good wine.
Thanks, as always, for the laugh Sizzle.

Comment by snowflake37 — May 9, 2008 #
Well if you’ve made Twitter this much fun, I should spend more time there!!!!!! And now you’ve given me an idea of how to really spice up my little twitterings, or whatever they are called. ;-)

Comment by Michael C — May 9, 2008 #
I’d take some MO’s. Hell, I’d even take a lone O.

I am wary of Twitter. I keep getting asked to join but I am just not that interesting…

Comment by Manager Mom — May 10, 2008 #
Multiple O’s are pretty awesome but so is magically appearing money.

Comment by gorillabuns — May 10, 2008 #
Bwahahahaha! :)

Comment by Z — May 10, 2008 #
You should have figured that multiple orgasms were a bit much to wish for when you asked for chocolate and got a only a lone M&M.

Hilarious, nonetheless.

Comment by Stacey — May 10, 2008 #
I’m putting it out there that it would be REALLY awesome if I could have lots of sex. Soon.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Comment by Essentially Me — May 10, 2008 #
You are awesome!

Comment by tori — May 10, 2008 #
mmm. chocolate and money are pretty good. But don’t hate me - it seems I was on the receiving end of your last wish last night…

Comment by suze — May 10, 2008 #
Note to self: wish for your last wish, first…

Comment by sandra — May 11, 2008 #
You know if you read this post and the first line of the one that preceded it, you can’t help but smile.

Comment by Travis Erwin — May 11, 2008 #
good gracious, you get a LOT of comments.

i thought i was the only one who ate found candy!!

Comment by Robin — May 11, 2008 #
Hahaha! I would like to magically fit into my small jeans and to magically have gorgeous skin.

Comment by nicoleantoinette — May 11, 2008 #
Gettin’ a little greedy there, ain’tcha? :)

Comment by sue — May 12, 2008 #
I dinna know ye had the twitta!

(that was me being Scottish, duh.)

I found you though, because I am a super sleuth. Seriously, I impress myself majorly.

And now I’m asking the universe to have my follow request approved….

Comment by Maggie, dammit — May 12, 2008 #
Hahaha — I guess Twitter does bring out those kinds of thoughts in everyone:)

Comment by Becky — May 12, 2008 #
Hahahahaha. Damn that third wish not coming true.

Comment by Lara — May 15, 2008 #
I was like… I remember reading this, right? But yes, I saw it on Twitter, ha ha.

And isn’t this what that “Secret” business was all about anyway?

Comment by Aimee Greeblemonkey — May 19, 2008 #