Screwed « Sizzle Says

Screwed

July 31, 2008 at 6:29 am | In conversations | 50 Comments

“Can you help me hang this stuff?” I say pointing to six pieces of framed black & white pictures of jazz artists that have been sitting on the dining room table for far too long.

“Sure!” he replies.

“We need a pencil to mark off where to drill holes.” I scour the desk drawers and come up empty. “Here. We’ll just use this pen.”

We set the level on top of the frame. I hold the frame in place while he marks where the holes should be.

He drills the first hole, then the second, then puts the screws in place. I hang the frame.

And it’s crooked.

“How in the hell did THAT happen?” he asks incredulously.

“Well shit! Hmm, maybe we shouldn’t do this while we’re drunk?”

“Yeah, good idea.”

50 Comments »

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I never have pencils when I need them, either, and for that reason, have several pen marks on my walls that the new owners of my house (if there ever are any) are going to LOVE.

Comment by La — July 31, 2008 #
OMG! That is classic! I can’t hang em sober so I won’t even TRY after a few cocktails.

Comment by Amanda — July 31, 2008 #
hahaha, that’s hilarious! I never never seem to have pencils around when needed either.

Comment by Jamie — July 31, 2008 #
Ha! I’ll keep that in mind ;)

Comment by Angella — July 31, 2008 #
Hell, that happens to me sober.

Comment by Kandace — July 31, 2008 #
Though being drunk may help from getting into fights over the process – not like we have ever had fights (where one of us had to leave the house) or anything.

Comment by ammanners — July 31, 2008 #
I always shoot pool better when I’m slightly buzzed…I can’t hang pictures straight sober, so maybe I should try it a tad tipsy. Thanks for the good advice!

Comment by MoxieMamaKC — July 31, 2008 #
At least you are productive when you are drunk!

Comment by -R- — July 31, 2008 #
Ha! I hung all the pics in my place while drinking wine from a coffee mug.

Comment by sandra — July 31, 2008 #
Thanks for the tip! Does that apply to grocery shopping too? Cuz…it all looks good when buzzed and food shoppinh late at night. lol.

Don’t drink and drive!
Don’t drink and hang pictures!

Sigh!

Comment by justduckie73 — July 31, 2008 #
BWAHAHAHAH! Nice! :)

Comment by Marie — July 31, 2008 #
If you look, every picture I’ve hung in our house is lower on the left than the right. I hung them all sober I swear!

Comment by Chris — July 31, 2008 #
You guys are the cutest couple ever but unless the level was drunk too how did this happen!!!!

Comment by NerdGirl — July 31, 2008 #
HA! I think everything is better while drunk. But now you have me wondering…

Comment by Smilf — July 31, 2008 #
I find myself concerned that you operated power tools while drunk. Though, I guess on the power tool scale, the drill is unlikely to do permanent damage to a person.

Comment by nicalyse — July 31, 2008 #
Just have a couple more…that picture will look straight. Of course, that means that you’ll have to STAY drunk in order for it not to bother you.

Comment by jonb — July 31, 2008 #
Hey they have this really cool tool that helps do this: http://www.amazon.com/Black-Decker-BDSL30-24-Inch-Gecko/dp/B000XQ1JWY/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2F25HGZUWK9WE&colid=RQ2Z4EMV3J67

Though I am not sure it is drunk proof. (sorry I am an idiot linker)

And I am going to have to agree that operating power tools while drunk is not a great idea.

Comment by kim — July 31, 2008 #
Ha! Great story!

Comment by Carrie — July 31, 2008 #
You guys, we were drunk so of course we weren’t thinking clearly. Re: operating power tools is a GREAT IDEA when inebriated. ;-)

Comment by sizzle — July 31, 2008 #
Thanks for the handy building tip.

Comment by betheboy — July 31, 2008 #
I think pretty much everything we’ve hung in our house was put up under the influence of a glass or 2 or a bottle of wine. Plus, we eyeball everything. Things look remarkably straight considering!

Comment by 180/360 — July 31, 2008 #
At least you didn’t decide to paint!

Comment by skyzi — July 31, 2008 #
Hahaha! Yeah definitely a good idea =)

Comment by Lani — July 31, 2008 #
The outcome could have been much worse :)

Comment by freeandflawed — July 31, 2008 #
But it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.

Comment by Travis Erwin — July 31, 2008 #
lol…hmm wonder how that happened :)

Comment by Susel — July 31, 2008 #
I think this would be a great book forward to Home Repair for Dummies.

Comment by Eileen Dover — July 31, 2008 #
I’ve spent the past few weeks hanging frames…and none of them are straight. Almost…but not quite. Under each picture there are 2-3 empty nail holes representing the first, second and third tries to get it right.

Comment by Karen — July 31, 2008 #
Oh, and we were completely sober each time! :\

Comment by Karen — July 31, 2008 #
The thing is, I’m never motivated to hang pictures unless I am drinking. So, yeah.

Comment by Rhi — July 31, 2008 #
I was wondering what you needed a pencil for! Good luck when you return to that project.

Comment by Vanessa — July 31, 2008 #
Pffft. I just say the walls are crooked.

Comment by Stacey — July 31, 2008 #
Always blame the inanimate object. Always. Or a shifting foundation.

Comment by Josie — July 31, 2008 #
Hmmm…have you thought that maybe the picture is actually straight, but it just looked crooked because you were drunk?

Comment by punchlinewalking — July 31, 2008 #
haha, that totally sounds like something i would do. i always get motivated to do random things when i’m drunk. :)

Comment by katelin — July 31, 2008 #
Way too funny! Good thing no one was hurt (were they?)

Comment by tori — July 31, 2008 #
haha I do that sober too. I measure and measure and it still comes out wrong. At least it was probably a lot funnier after drinking.

Comment by Melissa — July 31, 2008 #
oh man, I totally do that sober. I’m useless at hanging stuff. I’m much better at the drinking part!

Comment by The Ex — July 31, 2008 #
Actually, all the jazz pics might look cool all cocked this way and that. My friends did that with their Disney paintings and it turned out great. But then I am prone to vertigo.

Comment by Michael C — July 31, 2008 #
Hmmm…I wasn’t tipsy, but I can’t hang things straight either. With help or without. Tell people it’s art. And all jazz.

Comment by Sarah — July 31, 2008 #
This is why I have to keep digging the laser level out of the toy chest. The kids think it is a toy, but I NEED it to hang anything straight. That’s right. I just admitted I let my kids play with lasers…!

Comment by Velma — July 31, 2008 #
Just hang them all a bit crooked and act like you meant to do it that way, my lazy mans sollution. I happen to live with the most anal retentive picture hanger who wouldn’t let that fly. He has been known to do a little mock up on the computer before actually hanging the pictures and once that is done the hanging itself often involves a level.

Drunken picture hanging sounds much more fun.

Comment by andrea — July 31, 2008 #
Oh funny. you actually are in the right frame of mind while drunk, to get around to hanging them but cant hang them! Ha!

Comment by stepping over the junk — July 31, 2008 #
Tee hee! :-)

Comment by Pants — July 31, 2008 #
lol, i love it!

Comment by J — August 1, 2008 #
Yeah, but who wants to drill holes first thing in the morning?

Comment by Whit — August 1, 2008 #
;-)

Comment by Annie — August 2, 2008 #
LOL. Getting dressed and putting make-up on while tipsy and/or drunk is a big NO for me – I learned the hard way. Hahaha, but drilling holes and hanging frames up, that’s a whole other ball game!

Comment by emmaenlighted — August 4, 2008 #
HA! Now I want to know where the pictures are of the picture hanging….?

Comment by sue — August 5, 2008 #
Hahaha — well, at least you knew they were crooked, right?

Comment by Becky — August 11, 2008 #