I’ve taken to dunking my cats in the tub.
Before you call the SPCA on me, let me explain. It is hot here. When I say “hot” I mean HOT. Yesterday, Seattle broke its own heat record at over 100 degrees. ONE HUNDRED DEGREES. This is Seattle. We do not do extremes well. Give us constant rain and we’re fine. You won’t hear nary a complaint from us. But bury us in a couple inches of snow and we freak out. Melt us with temperatures over 75 and we are not pleased. It’s not that we’re fussy (that much) but rather unprepared. We only had like 3 snow plows when Snowmaggedon 2008 struck and now, with this heat wave, we’re whining and dripping in sweat in front of four fans cranked up to full blast.
Okay maybe not everyone, but I certainly am.
We’re not a city that requires air conditioning generally speaking which is why people are flocking to the malls and movie theaters (I saw The Ugly Truth and it’s predictable but Gerard Butler is sexy and it was like 60 degrees in the theater so totally worth it). It’s also why people are lining up at Lowe’s before the store opens to try and buy an air conditioner. Apparently people were lined up even after the delivery of A/C units came and went. They even had the people who bought the units exit a different way so that they didn’t have to deal with a mob.
Seriously? Man, people are CRANKY when they are hot. I can attest to that. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in over a week. My nose is stuffed up. My throat is scratchy. And I can’t seem to motivate myself to unpack my luggage, eat dinner or accomplish anything except taking cold showers and grumbling. I can literally step out of the shower dripping wet and be dry in under two minutes.
My apartment has become a clothing optional zone.
But back to my cats. When it’s 100 degrees outside that means it’s likely 120 degrees in my apartment since it gets direct sunlight for the hottest part of the day. My cats are literally baking. They meow forlornly and wander around trying to find a cool spot on the hardwood or tile floor. I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I filled the tub up a smidge and grabbed Dash. He’s the furriest but a gentle giant. After multiple times in the tub, I am convinced Dash likes it. He puts up an obligatory fight at first but once he’s in there he’s all, Hey, I think I like this! Dot on the other hand is fussy all of the damn time so she’s likely to cut a bitch if you look at her wrong. Luckily, I am wily and know how to be quick about dousing her. So far, no bleeding. She thanks me after, begrudgingly, by lying next to me on the bed in front of the fan.
The fact that I am looking forward to it being 88 degrees this weekend shows you how warped my thinking has become in this heat. The good news is, I’m probably sweating away the pounds I gained at BlogHer and purging my overwrought liver of the buckets of booze I forced it to process.