My Brain Is Melty

I’ve taken to dunking my cats in the tub.

Before you call the SPCA on me, let me explain. It is hot here. When I say “hot” I mean HOT. Yesterday, Seattle broke its own heat record at over 100 degrees. ONE HUNDRED DEGREES. This is Seattle. We do not do extremes well. Give us constant rain and we’re fine. You won’t hear nary a complaint from us. But bury us in a couple inches of snow and we freak out. Melt us with temperatures over 75 and we are not pleased. It’s not that we’re fussy (that much) but rather unprepared. We only had like 3 snow plows when Snowmaggedon 2008 struck and now, with this heat wave, we’re whining and dripping in sweat in front of four fans cranked up to full blast.

Okay maybe not everyone, but I certainly am.

We’re not a city that requires air conditioning generally speaking which is why people are flocking to the malls and movie theaters (I saw The Ugly Truth and it’s predictable but Gerard Butler is sexy and it was like 60 degrees in the theater so totally worth it). It’s also why people are lining up at Lowe’s before the store opens to try and buy an air conditioner. Apparently people were lined up even after the delivery of A/C units came and went. They even had the people who bought the units exit a different way so that they didn’t have to deal with a mob.

Seriously? Man, people are CRANKY when they are hot. I can attest to that. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in over a week. My nose is stuffed up. My throat is scratchy. And I can’t seem to motivate myself to unpack my luggage, eat dinner or accomplish anything except taking cold showers and grumbling. I can literally step out of the shower dripping wet and be dry in under two minutes.

My apartment has become a clothing optional zone.

But back to my cats. When it’s 100 degrees outside that means it’s likely 120 degrees in my apartment since it gets direct sunlight for the hottest part of the day. My cats are literally baking. They meow forlornly and wander around trying to find a cool spot on the hardwood or tile floor. I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I filled the tub up a smidge and grabbed Dash. He’s the furriest but a gentle giant. After multiple times in the tub, I am convinced Dash likes it. He puts up an obligatory fight at first but once he’s in there he’s all, Hey, I think I like this! Dot on the other hand is fussy all of the damn time so she’s likely to cut a bitch if you look at her wrong. Luckily, I am wily and know how to be quick about dousing her. So far, no bleeding. She thanks me after, begrudgingly, by lying next to me on the bed in front of the fan.

The fact that I am looking forward to it being 88 degrees this weekend shows you how warped my thinking has become in this heat. The good news is, I’m probably sweating away the pounds I gained at BlogHer and purging my overwrought liver of the buckets of booze I forced it to process.

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49 thoughts on “My Brain Is Melty

  1. meanwhile in new york, it’s a billion percent humidity, rains like a monsoon for half an hour, then is fiercely sunny again. freaky weather everywhere!

  2. Most places in the DC metro area have air conditioning. Only because this use to be swamp land and is super hot in the summer.

    Wanna come over? My apartment is always nice and cool.

  3. While you have the 100 degree weather in Seattle, down here in Georgia, we finally get to enjoy the 80s weather. Hopefully it will be back to normal for you soon. I was reading another blog of someone who lives in Portland who is going through the same thing you are. Fans and cold showers. I know about cold showers. Luckily we down here in the south are prepared with air conditioning and I sleep with a light quilt at night. Stay cool!

  4. While I don’t want all of the heat, I’ll take some of it. I swell badly in the conditions you describe. I would, however, like to be able to wear my summer clothes at some point before fall. Stupid rain. You’re not the only one ranting.

  5. Now that your apartment is a clothing optional zone, may I recommend a Twitter feature called Twitpic? Share your Pain, to our Collective Delight! Cats don’t sweat, but put a couple of Icw Cubes in their water & watch them go to town, once they discover it’s cool! I guess dunking is OK for both cats and humans… ASlso, look up the term swamp cooler- you might be able to rig up a little something for your bedroom, so you can sleep(read fan blowing over Icecubes in a cheesecloth “bag” with a basin underneath)

  6. I just don’t get this summer. I mean, here Seattle is having a heat wave. And Chicago (which is normally in the nineties and humid as all fuck) is having a heat strike. We barely get into the 80s these days. Not that I’m complaining (because believe me, I’m not) … it’s just confusing, that’s all!

  7. Those old apartments are the worst. So hard to get a cross breeze going. Poor kitties. Might have to do the same for ours. I can’t wait for it to be 88. It is too damn hot. The air out this morning is definitely cooler than yesterday.. there is a slight breeze. Maybe it will cool off earlier than they expect. I can only hope.

  8. My offer still stands for you to come over here and dunk the cats. We’ve got slip and slide and kiddie pools and most importantly, cold beer. I usually LOVE the heat, but this is even to much for me to deal with.

    Enjoy the cooling trend, only supposed to be 98 today ; )

  9. Your temps have been insane. E. keeps telling me that it’s headed our way and I was like, no, Seattle has been insanely hot all summer and the warmest we got was a week over 90. Poor thing(s).
    I usually wipe my kitties down with cool washclothes when they get miserable. They don’t like having the wet fur, until they realize that it’s cooling as it evaporates!

  10. I feel for you- though it’s only been in the low 90’s in FL lately. It takes me forever to walk my dog because he stops for a break every time he gets in shade, like under a tree. Then I have to drag him out of his shady spot (not an easy task-he’s 120lbs) to get him walking again in the sunlight. He’d be happy to stay in the AC 24/7. I just accept I always have fuzzy hair and sweat unbecomingly. Oh, well.

  11. Wow, that is some serious discomfort. Kudos to you though for taking your life in your hands by tossing the cats into some water- you’re a good owner.

    I think that I’d be buying an AC as soon as possible, just in case this heat wave comes back.

  12. Whew. Makes me sweat just thinking about it. I live in a place that stays hot and sweaty for months on end (fall? what fall?), but then again, we’re also air-conditioned to the max. So you have my sympathy. Without AC, I’d be sleeping in the mall.

  13. When it is really hot here in Texas (like today) Miss LaLa will sneak into my bath water. I’ll be filling up the tub, walk out of the bathroom and when I return there she is sitting in up to her neck in the bath water. It is really funny.

  14. Ugh. It sucks so much to be boiling hot with no A/C. We don’t have A/C in our house (YET) and it’s the same thing. I keep trying to get Montana to sit in front of the fan but she’s scared of it, I think. I should just send her to the basement for her own good.

  15. I totally think you were doing your cats a big favor!

    We in the Central Valley are used to temperatures around 100F in the summer (and therefore AC-prepaired), but I tell you, the high 80’s this week were just WONDERFUL!

  16. We ended up just have the groomer shave our long hair cat to better deal with the LA heat and he loves it. far more bouncy and we don’t find him sprawled out like a fur rug anymore.

    Well the heat will prepare you for your next trip down here…

  17. you know, i hadn’t thought about this for ELI…i wonder how he would react? must ponder.

    also, everyone has told me to buy an AC unit. but you know how cheap i am.

    i’m stubborn. my fan isn’t quite cutting it.

  18. Man. I’m sitting here in my office wearing my winter coat, a sweater,a long-sleeved tee shirt, and a tank top. I’m also sporting wool socks and gloves. I am NOT KIDDING.

  19. Funny your house sounds exactly like my house. My poor cat. He’s dying in there. I didn’t dunk him but I did lay a gel ice pack on him last night, he seemed appreciative.
    Clothing optional as well. Normally, I’m not a nudist at home, but I have definitely been rethinking that. West facing windows at my house too.

  20. Great idea to help the kittehs. Get them wet and let a fan breeze cool them down.

    Are we going to see pics of them looking like pathetic drowned rats?

  21. Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time, but I am finally compelled to delurk and commiserate with you about the heat! I’m in Vancouver(BC) and HOLY GOD! It is sooo hot. I just checked the weather, and I am majorly looking forward to the 27 degree weather predicted for tomorrow (around 80)! And even that is hot for Vancouver! I’ve been worrying we’re a bunch of babies, but I’m glad that Seattle feels the same way- always a good sisterhood in Seattle! ;)

    Drink lots of water! oh, and I’ve found that sleeping with ice packs REALLY helps!

  22. Vancouver set a heat record yesterday. My husband came home last night to find me in the shower, cold water blasting, holding my two dogs, sobbing about how hot it is in our condo. Good times. I’m kind of begging for November right now.

  23. I think the cats dying in the heat would be my biggest worry. . . if I didn’t have air conditioning. Feel free to come over any time. Bring the kitties and they can make new friends :-)

    Actually, Jake (my youngest) is constantly trying to escape to the outside. Well yesterday, I let him. He promptly turned around and ran back into the cool house. That’s what I thought.

  24. i can’t even IMAGINE the fury that would rain down upon me if i tried to put either of my cats in a bath. my one cat accidentally fell into a bath once* and will CLAW YOUR EYES OUT if she thinks you’re bringing her near anything remotely water-like now.

    *holy shit was that funny, though. she’d never seen the bathtub with water in it before, so she just hopped in like she normally does (when it’s empty), and… haaaaaa.

  25. I have to throw my dog in the pool. He’s a Katrina rescue so sudden amounts of water make him very displeased with me. Hey, he goes outside when I’m in the pool. He asks for it…

    BTW, next time you do this, we’re going to need video…

  26. As a kid, I used to love the summer heat because that meant staying outside all day and getting dirty then going swimming. I didn’t care back then what my pudginess looked like in a swimsuit.

    Now that I’m old, I do not like this heat either. I don’t like getting out of the shower, dripping with sweat the moment I take a step. I don’t like sweating in my work clothes…the only sweat I like is when I’m working out. So I feel your pain!

    So do have the type of windows that don’t accomodate an A/C or are you trying to save money?

  27. Awe I want to see pictures of the wet kitties! I bet they look really funny.

    I hope it cools off for you soon. I’m sort of the same, yet polar opposite of you – I’m used to the heat so I can handle that over rain any day. I melt when I get wet!

  28. This summer is screwed up. It’s been rainy and coolish here. Which is just fine by me, I am an any season but summer girl.

    Hope the heat breaks.

  29. Came over to your site from torn pages, going to be coming back alot. I’m from central Mississippi and we are having lower than normal temps but the humidity kills you.

  30. I hope your windows open – tonight is the night your appt might cool down. (NPR said Friday night lows in the high 50s.) I’m counting on cooling down my house. Cheers!

  31. Yeah, we don’t handle weather here, very well. We don’t even handle rain here very well. However, if nothing else, It makes for great small talk. “Hot enough out there, for ya?”

  32. Yikes! It sometimes gets to 95 here, but not often and now it is a cool 75. What I do without air conditioning to keep it cooler in the house: close your curtains during the day and drink lots of water :-). Good luck.

  33. The weather this summer has been seriously weird. I saw on the news today we haven’t hit 90 degrees ONCE here in NYC in all of June & July! (But it’s been so humid and gross-feeling, I’ve had to run the A/C anyway half the time.) I hope it cools down there soon. P.S. You are such a good cat owner! I’d fear for my life trying to dunk my cat in the tub, even for her own good! Ha ha!! ;)

  34. wow that’s hot. i don’t know what to do for my cat when she’s obviously hot. we don’t have central air, so i try to get her in a room with the AC and she won’t budge. i think there would be * to pay if i put her in a bathtub of water, but if cats don’t mind, it’s a good idea.

  35. I froze water in yogurt containers and had the girls play with the ice. They had fun trying to pick it up (slippery!), but that only held their interest for so long. I kept trying to put cold wash cloths on their heads and necks, but they didn’t like that. Finally, on Tuesday, after the 5th or so day of our apartment not getting cooler than 85, the girls having sweaty, dripping heads, me getting a migraine, Fiona getting a heat rash, Stella getting really flushed, I finally called friends who have a large suburban house with AC in North Bend and, while sobbing, asked if we could stay there for a few days. When we fled the apartment, it was 94 and climbing. It was a glorious next few days!!!! And then I couldn’t help feeling guilty and bad for everyone who was still stuck in there above 90 degree homes.

    BTW, I know it’s still probably ungodly hot in your apartment. We’re borrowing a friends portable AC for a couple days and you’re welcome to come over and sit/sleep in front of it. Guess what we’re buying when they get restocked?!

  36. i looked at that picture with the mcdonald hats and thought “that’s angella” and it turns out it is ANGELLA.
    I went to highschool with her…
    cool blog:)

  37. And they say global warming is a farce. City of Seattle should be shuttling people to Canada or at least to air conditioning (which unfortunately contributes to global warming)

  38. We kind of lucked out in that we bought an a/c window unit at Costco (on a whim) the Sunday before we hit these temps and it totally saved us from being insomniacs.

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