The Door Is Open

It’s been well documented that I am an over-sharer. The other day while eating lunch with co-workers I was sharing some story about my recent vacation and my new co-worker kind of laughed and said a bit incredulously, “You’d tell people that?” I replied with a smile, “Oh right! You’re new here. I’m an over-sharer. You should just know that off the top so there are less surprises.”

There just comes a time in a woman’s life when you stop apologizing for what you are and own it.

I’ve been thinking about this here blog and what I share and don’t share. I put a lot of myself out into the interwebs but not everything. Maybe to some I share stuff that should remain private. Maybe to others I don’t share enough, go deep enough, tell the full story. Blogging is weird like that- how much is too much is a personal decision that cannot be dictated by the whims of readers. From the reactions I’ve received from blog friends who have met me in real life, it seems I come across here very much as I am in real life. I’m open and boisterous and introspective and chatty and sometimes funny. I’m welcoming and friendly and don’t mind swapping personal details. I’ve got daddy issues and intimacy issues and I struggle with self-acceptance and my body image. I can be bossy and demanding and self-absorbed. I wear my heart on my sleeve and tears leap to my eyes from joy and sadness with equal speed. I care about other people, sometimes more than myself, and might not know how to keep my opinion to myself.

I know who I am and am constantly exploring it.

I use this blog as an outlet to document my life and that means that sometimes I might share stuff that I am embarrassed, elated or confused about. Because life is messy and most of the time I’m just trying to make sense of it. Because when I write about something that is happening/has happened to me, it feels more real to me and I gain clarity. I write for myself knowing that there is an audience of people listening who may or may not agree, who could cast a stone or offer a virtual hug, but that I won’t know until I hit publish. And trust me, there have been plenty of times I have hesitated in clicking “publish.”  I’ve felt vulnerable and exposed but to me that’s part of my process. I am a good person who has done bad things. I am imperfect. I am human. And I don’t feel the need to hide the “bad” parts of me in the hopes of gaining acceptance. I spent most of my 20s doing that and am SO over it.

Whatever I’ve written here on this blog is my truth because that’s the only thing I know. I’m telling my story, not anyone elses. There’s probably always going to be more to any story I share but this is a blog, not a made-for-TV docudrama. But if you want to know something, just ask. I hope by now you know that I’m open to that.

So seriously, if there’s a loose end or lingering question from anything I’ve shared on this little blog over the years, ask away. I will respond to every comment.

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37 thoughts on “The Door Is Open

  1. I’ve been quarreling – one could say – with myself lately on whether or not I should always be who I am because well, I tend to over share a lot myself. My friends love that about me and thankfully so does my bf, but to be honest, there are people who have made quick and incorrect judgments about me based on what I say/do which has led me to be hurt. Making me reassess whether I should keep from being my complete self around these people.

    But you know what? Reading this post of yours has sealed the deal: screw everyone else. If they can’t accept me and love me for who I am, they can go stuff themselves in a toilet. I like me and that’s who they’re getting.

    Also, I heart you. A lot. (And I’ll probably keep telling you that.)

  2. “I am a good person who has done bad things. I am imperfect. I am human. And I don’t feel the need to hide the ‘bad’ parts of me in the hopes of gaining acceptance.”

    Words to live by. Keep on keeping on.

  3. I love reading your blog. Keep it up! Who the F cares if you “over share”. It’s your blog and you are the one “over sharing” (I don’t think you do BTW). Blogging about other people can be tricky. Some people love it, some hate it even with a fake name. Stay true to who you are and you’ll be fine.

    I have a few questions… what’s up with the Fella? Have you decided if you are going to contact your brother?

  4. Great post.

    My husband will read my blog, from time to time, and then tell me I have the story all wrong. I am continually reminding him that it’s MY story and I tell it like I recall it. He can’t seem to comprehend that. But yeah, it’s only our side of the story and our interpretation on OUR blogs.

  5. This blogging thing we do is weird that way sometimes — occasionally one of my friends that I forget reads me blog will want to talk to me about something I wrote, and it will briefly freak me out like “How do you know about this and why are we discussing it?” before I remember, “Oh yeah, I put it out there already for COMPLETE STRANGERS to read if they want to, so I guess I have no business not telling you about it at this point.”

    Anyway. Keep sharing, and I promise I’ll keep reading.

  6. Word, sister. And isn’t it a good feeling.

    The thing that always gets me, and probably everyone who’s ever blogged, is that even though you’re not sharing it all some assume you are and make judgement based on that. I know it’s inevitable, but it still gets to me from time to time.

  7. I think you are an awesome person both on your blog and in person. I was so happy when I met you and found you to be exactly as I expected. I was so worried because I loved your blog and wondered what would happen if you were completely different in real life. Would that forever change how I read your blog? Turns out I didn’t need to worry at all.

    I totally agree with your post here. I share just about everything, and what I don’t share I am pretty open to questions about. If someone asked something I didn’t want to share, I’d just say that. I think because we are both so open and honest, when people meet us it isn’t a big shock to see who we are in person.

  8. I have no questions today because as you know, when I do have them, I totally email you and ask. I honestly think that’s how everyone should do it if they have a burning question for a blogger. First of all, it’s way more classy than making assumptions and secondly, it never hurts to ask a question. What’s the worst that can happen? Someone can say to mind your own business? Who cares?

  9. i love this “There just comes a time in a woman’s life when you stop apologizing for what you are and own it.”

    we are done apologizing for what appears to others as… bad or good, flaws, imperfections… fault or not.

    we are never perfect, but learning to be honest about our “stuff”.

    and hopefully those who love us, accept it…

    everyday, i am grateful you are my friend. my heart friend. my family.
    quirks and all.

    xo.

  10. *applause* I’m so with you. I lost my blogging joy because I started feeling like I had to please everyone and being myself is what made people read my blog to begin with. It’s such a Catch 22. But I’m totally with you… I’m SO over it. I’m almost 36 years old, I am who I am and I’m really quite tired of apologizing for what others perceive as unsavory or whatever. You’ve inspired me with this post. Thanks!

  11. I feel like I’m constantly learning interesting lessons from you – about being a better person, sharing yourself. I’ve been blogging for six years now (writing for over 20), and I’m also an over-sharer. Less on my current blog, because I’ve had to gather some of that fabric in for my own protection. It’s nice to be reminded that everyone’s blog, posts, stories are what they know. There’s a saying I like to live by and say:

    “Is that your highest truth?”
    :)

  12. your blog is just a version of your life, and on mine it is clearly labeled as “inspired by actual events.” If I get any flack on the truthfulness of my words I just point them right back to that statement.

    I like how at least once a year bloggers seem to have explain/justify/educate the few readers who don’t seem not to understand blog post, like any conversation are mostly biased or tainted stories. our stories.

    Sometime I get too afraid to be more honest in my blog and often I’ll just stop writing for days…never good for my mind so I say honest over-sharing is good sometimes.

    (I highly recommend Tony Pierce’s BusBlog post from 2004 How to Blog Post in case you become stuck)

  13. I just wanted to say how much I love reading your blog! No oversharing in my opinion. Also, on a side note, I recently (and accidentally) stumbled across your real name and I want to let you know that I think it is beautiful! Keep on sharing and and being yourself!

  14. You should be so proud of yourself for being authentic. A lot of people struggle with it – I think it’s fantastic you don’t. And I loved that you were exactly the same person in real life as you are here on your blog. I just remembered about a particular comment you told me to go read on one of your posts, so I’m going to go do that now…ohh the juiciness!

  15. You say:

    “There’s probably always going to be more to any story I share but this is a blog, not a made-for-TV docudrama.”

    Why isn’t your life a made-for-TV docudrama? I totally see a screen worthy character in what you write. Who knows, maybe even an entire series. Let’s face it, if the Hilton clan can get people to pay attention to the inane crap that was what I saw in the 10 min or so I was subjected to on a restaurant TV, your story starts to look like Hemingway.

    You are far too young to remember but many many years ago there was a TV show about a young, single woman making her way in the world. The one I had in mind was called Room 222. But once I wrote that I see the same description applies to a show you may have heard of. Think Mary Tyler Moore Show with a bit of sass.

    When it gets ready to hit the air, let me know so I can start planning a big party to celebrate and so I can figure out how to spend the extra large royalty checks that will surely follow.
    :D

    TAG

  16. You know what’s funny? Every single blogger I’ve met in real life has turned out exactly as I expected. Maybe one day I’ll meet one that will totally shock me but I doubt it.
    It’s also funny to me how people who think they “overshare” on their blog are often a helluva lot milder than some other blogs I’ve visited on the interwebs. ;)

  17. “Whatever I’ve written here on this blog is my truth because that’s the only thing I know.”

    …your openness and willing to share has been an inspiration to me …i would not be able to write what i do with out your support …my blog is my truth, my world, MY feelings …thank you Sizzle

  18. “I’ve got daddy issues and intimacy issues and I struggle with self-acceptance and my body image”

    That should read: “I’ve got daddy issues and intimacy issues and struggle with self acceptance and my body image. I also have a pair of tits that could stop traffic and ass so sweet I could get my rent paid.”

    I’m just sayin’.

    I love your blog but I adore the in-person delivery.

  19. “Whatever I’ve written here on this blog is my truth because that’s the only thing I know.”

    Bravo!

    That, by the way, is why we read. Your blog, any personal blog . . . because it’s the truth as told by one person who we grow to like and look forward to hearing from.

    We love your stories. The ones with too many details and the ones with too few details. Isn’t that just like a friendship, too?

  20. You being you and sharing the way you do, is why I fell in love with your blog. It’s real. You have made me laugh, cry, become introspective, reflective, angry, sad, happy, hopeful, inspired and almost anything else you could insert here. Am I am so hoping a day comes when our paths cross… With cocktails, of course…

  21. Really, a great posting today Sizzle. I guess we use our blogs for what we need from them at any given time. Sometimes in sharing, sometimes to Help, sometimes in documenting experience…and then we have to decide how much. It’s like a teeter-totter in my case, but I feel like the people who travel by and read it regularly get to see a good bit of Me. It still is Me, no matter what I am talking about, so imagine my surprise when a friend I had in RL told me she didn;t “relate” to how I tended to “speak” in my blog. I realized in that moment, she didn’t know me very well at all.

    People who love you will love you no matter what you say and share here.:-) I find you to be bubbly, caring, honest, and generous. All the rest is details. *hugs*

  22. I think anyone who is quick to judge the Sizzle (or anyone else, for that matter) needs to take a long, hard look at themselves. Because usually, the comments they make? Has nothing to do with you and your issues and everything to do with theirs.

    I hope you keep on dancing and singing to the beat of your own drummer. Because I, for one, love what you share.

  23. I just have to say that this line: “There just comes a time in a woman’s life when you stop apologizing for what you are and own it.”

    I love it so much I made it my facebook status!

    Love your blog, Love everything about it!

  24. Your candor and authenticity are what keep me coming back. I wish more people were like this, especially in real life! Too bad you don’t live here. :) (Ironically, my next blog post was going to be called No Apologies.)

  25. I try to be like this too, but sometimes, things that are affecting me are not my story to share, and it makes me CRAZY.

    And I feel like I am still figuring out who I am. I feel like each day I find out more about my personality. It’s weird!

  26. it is a hard line to draw. i struggled in the beginning about whether or not to include some stories, but in the end, said “screw it” and included them. if they are not hurting people…and instead, explaining things about yourself, then GO AT IT

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