I’m the Michael Jackson of Water Aerobics*

September 25, 2009 at 6:46 am | Posted in health, reader participation | 30 Comments

There’s a girl in my water aerobics class who often wears a black bathing suit that is, uh, well how do I put this? NOT SUPPORTIVE. As in, when we’re jumping or jogging (which is pretty much most of the class) I am very concerned that one of her tits is going to pop out of her flimsy suit and give us all a show. And yet, despite the fear, I cannot stop watching them. It’s like a tit train wreck.

So that got me thinking. How about we play a game. Fill in the blank of this sentence:

It makes me uncomfortable when _______________.

*I arrived a few minutes after class started last night and all that was left was one lone water mitt so I was forced to pull vintage MJ moves in the pull. The power of MJ compelled me.

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Hmmm….It makes me uncomfortable when men scratch their crotches right in front of me.

Comment by Marie— September 25, 2009 #
As above (men scratching crotches), AND along the lines of bathing suits…when tourists don’t put clothing on over their suits. Very inappropriate for town. Don’t they see that NO ONE is wearing a bikini top with no cover? We show a lot of skin, down here on the sunny island, but PLEASE cover your bum and belly.

Comment by Moriah— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when I hear that a very dear dear friend still breast feeds her 2-year old. *shudder*

Comment by SoMi's Nilsa— September 25, 2009 #
I am going to have to agree with Marie. It draws my eye, each and every time, and then I am just embarassed.

I worry about the tit thing… My suit is fairly supportive but I still feel that they are going to whack me in the face.

It makes me uncomfortable when people invade my bubble. I don’t like you, get out of the bubble.

Comment by kim— September 25, 2009 #
People retweet themselves all the live-long day. Heh.

Comment by Angella— September 25, 2009 #
people stare at me too long.

Comment by amy— September 25, 2009 #
I don’t understand the question.

Comment by Tracy Lynn— September 25, 2009 #
Ugh, I agree with the crotch scratching, grabbing, adjusting whatnot. Seriously guys, we notice. You’re not being as discreet as you think.
Also, excessive PDA and couples fighting in public. Especially in front of children.

Comment by wafelenbak— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when a man’s pants are so tight there is a worn spot where his junk hits.

Comment by Kaleigha— September 25, 2009 #
Ha! Tit Train Wreck – that’s a good name for a band.

It makes me uncomfortable when my work’s cleaning lady farts in the hallway. Loudly.

Comment by Toe— September 25, 2009 #
I’m with Marie! We were on our way into a grocery store and this guy scratched and made a very involved readjust, while maintaining PERFECT eye contact. *gag*

Comment by Pants— September 25, 2009 #
When my three-year-old shouts, “Mommy, I have to POOP!!! Do you HEAR ME???” in the grocery check out line, like he did this morning.

Ug.

Comment by Amy— September 25, 2009 #
people try to hug me or touch me or take my hand before I am comfortable with them. The time it takes to become comfortable with them varies.

Comment by Jodi— September 25, 2009 #
it makes me uncomfortable when people blow their noses and it’s not in a kleenex.

Comment by Cher— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable to be judged because my balls itch. And seriously, when it gets twisted around it has to be moved, and I mean RIGHT AWAY. I don’t want it to get snagged or snapped off or something.

Comment by Matt— September 25, 2009 #
Ew, Nilsa! Ew!

It makes me uncomfortable when someone expects me to agree with them… and I don’t.

Comment by kilax— September 25, 2009 #
There is an old man at the gym that I see all the time when I am swimming…or at least I used to when I went to the gym and was allowed to exercise….anyway, he wears a bathing suit that is so worn it is see through. Seriously. It is pretty bad when the bathing suit is dry but as soon as it gets wet? Well, I always wonder why no one says anything to him. I guess for the same reason I can’t bring myself to say something to him.

Comment by radioactive tori— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when you lie.

Not you siz. You, the person who is lying to me. Actually, I’m not uncomfortable, I just want to smack you.

Comment by Mayberry Magpie— September 25, 2009 #
“Tit train wreck”, hahaha. I love that.

I was actually going to say the crotch thing that the first commentor said. A lot of the contact I have with male Middle Eastern students involves ahem, “adjustment”. It’s disturbing, and repulsive. I’m getting the heebies just thinking about it.

Comment by MsPrufrock— September 25, 2009 #
it makes me uncomfortable when guys adjust themselves. why? i do not know. but i catch guys doing it all too often and i swear i’m not staring at their pants, haha.

Comment by katelin— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when I’m staring at a woman’s chest and they totally notice and call me out on it. I need to stop being so obvious, I guess, but why do they have to make me FEEL SO BAD about it?

Comment by Mighty Hunter— September 25, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when men stare at my chest instead of looking at my face when I talk to them. Ahem, Mighty Hunter, ahem.

Comment by Jen— September 25, 2009 #
. . when people clip their nails in public. SKEEVES!

Comment by angela— September 26, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when women with huge dark nipples don’t wear bras.

Comment by Hilly— September 26, 2009 #
It makes me uncomfortable when I have to figure out what would be an appropriate comment to make about some other woman’s boobs, or if any comment at all should be made. Very uncomfortable.

Comment by kapgar— September 26, 2009 #
Tipping makes me uncomfortable. I’m not against it, I just never know when to do it or how much. I’ll walk for blocks to avoid valet parking.

I really don’t care if men want to scratch their balls or adjust their packages. It’s not the most charming gesture, but as long as said balls are in pants, it seems like a reasonable and necessary thing to do occasionally. And I’m a lesbian. I’m supposed to hate the thought of penises. But maybe that’s why everything involving them seems very low-stakes to me.

Comment by Cheryl— September 26, 2009 #
Wow. That’s a lot of boobs and balls comments! Mine seem so serious in comparison. It makes me uncomfortable when I don’t feel like I have the right words to say to someone when they are grieving. I also feel uncomfortable when people compliment me. I NEVER have a good response.

Comment by 180|360— September 26, 2009 #
…when my husband starts making orgasm sounds while standing in the awkward, quiet line at the post office.

Comment by Aimee— September 26, 2009 #
… when my coworker tried to convince me I need to buy sex toys.

(really I have a long list.)

Comment by Nat— September 26, 2009 #
…when people are mouth-breathers. Close your mouth, Friend. I’m begging.

Comment by fatbridesmaid— September 28, 2009 #

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