Alligator Tastes Like Chewy Chicken

November 12, 2009 at 7:33 am | In fun & frolicking | 28 Comments

Sunday I went to a new restaurant opening thanks to Double B who was the craftsman artist behind the interior of the restaurant. It is gorgeous inside and if you live in Seattle, you should definitely go check it out when it officially opens.

The opening included small plates of menu items for tasting and an open bar. I don’t know about you but I firmly believe two of the most magical words in the English language when put together are OPEN and BAR. So of course, I got a little drunk.

My sister’s friend J was there and since she and I are both single, we were checking out the eye candy in the room. Maybe it was my booze goggles but there seemed to be a higher percentage of attractive men in the room than I generally experience in Seattle. While J ogled the pretty boy bartender, I scoped the scene for stocky dudes with shaved heads and/or facial hair. The thing to note is when scamming with a girlfriend it is very important that you have different taste in guys because otherwise? It will not be pretty.

One of Double B’s friends had sold his car and bought a boat called the Morning Wood. So of course when I met him I had to say, “So I hear you have morning wood?” because I am classy like that. He was impervious to my charms. But some other guy came over and apparently was looking down my dress while we talked about restaurants. I didn’t realize he was checking out my rack until later when someone pointed it out. He gave me his card and wrote his wife’s blog url on it and told me to call him anytime so we could go have dinner. Later I was told they have an open marriage but still. . . really? The things I get myself into when tipsy.

Sizzle Fact #46: I am an obnoxious flirt when I am drunk.

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Any man oblivious to the “morning wood” comment is clearly not worth your time. That was gold. :P

Comment by Princess of the Universe — November 12, 2009 #
He gave his WIFE’S URL? WTH?

I am an obnoxious flirt when I’m sober. Hee.

Comment by Angella — November 12, 2009 #
Can’t believe he gave you his wife’s URL. I guess some people never cease to surprise you.
Your comment is fracking hilarious and if that guy doesn’t get it? Well he’s stupid.

Comment by Marie — November 12, 2009 #
what guy wouldn’t get that comment? that was classic and almost classy.

Comment by Cher — November 12, 2009 #
This comment: “The thing to note is when scamming with a girlfriend it is very important that you have different taste in guys because otherwise? It will not be pretty.” had me laughing so loud at my desk, my boss asked what was going on.

So thanks for getting me in trouble.

Also? I agree, any guy who is not smitten by the morning wood comment is not a guy you want around.

Comment by Jeni Angel — November 12, 2009 #
Ooh I have watched construction on this for the past year. I work just a few blocks away and can’t wait to finally try this restaurant!

Comment by Danielle — November 12, 2009 #
For the record I am not going to go out with a married guy, a guy who is “getting a divorce” or a guy who is separated, a guy who has an open relationship or a guy who is engaged/dating/living with someone.

I’ve learned that lesson three times over. I’m done.

Don’t worry!

Comment by sizzle — November 12, 2009 #
I laughed… and then I shook my head. I swear… :)

Comment by sue — November 12, 2009 #
I still can’t believe that you didn’t catch him checking out your rack.I mean… you have to used that by now. Right? Based on the pics I’ve seen. It’s hard to miss.

Showoff! lol. :P

Comment by Ashleigh — November 12, 2009 #
Lower Queen Anne is totally my hood in Seattle. I was anxiously awaiting the opening of the new restaurant when I was there this summer. I am even more anxiously awaiting my move BACK to the LQA.

P.S. Open marriage? Not happening.

Comment by Moriah — November 12, 2009 #
Wait a minute. He BOUGHT A BOAT named “Morning Wood,” and doesn’t have a sense of humor about it?

Dear GOD. I can’t even wrap my brain around that!

Comment by abbersnail — November 12, 2009 #
Yeah, that business card guy needs to work on his game. Also, I totally wish I would have thought to advise you to tell Mr. Morning Wood that you have a nautical-themed Pashmina afghan. (Haaa.)

Comment by Kerri Anne — November 12, 2009 #
Oh this post has me wanting to say so many things! (1) I want to see photos of that mosaic tile floor. Dreamy! (2) In my raging single days, two girlfriends and I would go out together often. We all had very different taste in men, so not only did we not trip over one another, but we were also able to scope out places for one another … and bring boys over to the group that fit someone else’s bill. heheh (3)You’re a big flirt even when you’re sober. What?! You are!!!

Comment by SoMi's Nilsa — November 12, 2009 #
I love that you used the word “scam.” I haven’t heard that in a long time and it’s such a good one!

Comment by Mel Heth — November 12, 2009 #
Okay, so I’ve got to know, what is his wife’s blog about??

Comment by Amity — November 12, 2009 #
I am an obnoxious flirt when I am drunk

You and me both, sister. I blame tequila. Or wine. Or…well, anything I’ve been drinking, really…

Comment by jeopardygirl — November 12, 2009 #
I am STUNNED over him giving you his wife’s url.

Yes I live a sheltered life in a small town, but Jesus!

Comment by Mayberry Magpie — November 12, 2009 #
Note to self. If ever get the chance to meet Sizz in person, make sure she gets good and tipsy. :D

TAG

Comment by TAG — November 12, 2009 #
Good, because you know the only “open” thing you are allowed to participate in is the OPEN BAR.

Comment by Tracy Lynn — November 12, 2009 #
I’m glad there was booze. Those situations are cruel and unusual.

Comment by justrun — November 12, 2009 #
alligator??? oh hell no.

Comment by Chelsea Talks Smack — November 13, 2009 #
I think I blanked out after “wife’s url.” I came to at “open marriage.” The complexities of that are staggering.

Comment by Moose — November 13, 2009 #
Open Bar, yes. Open Relationship, no. (I know someone who is in one of these open relationships and it CREEPS me the hell out.)

Comment by Rhi — November 15, 2009 #
Tee hee, I was about to ask if this was the date you went on and then saw your comment above. ;)
I try not to be a judgey-mcjudgerson but I don’t know anyone who has pulled off an open relationship successfully. I’m sure there is someone out there who can prove me wrong but for now I am going to live in my comfy little no-open-relationship world.

Comment by wafelenbak — November 15, 2009 #
Just found your blog via Brandy’s, and l-o-v-e it. I’ll have to check out the restaurant when I’m in Seattle for the holidays.

And yes, I will repeat everyone else’s ASTONISHMENT at the guy who gives out his wife’s URL. Even if they’re in an open marriage, what kind of wife wants to schedule her husband’s booty calls? What kind of husband asks her to? Eww.

Comment by Christina — November 16, 2009 #
Not that it matters, but I have eaten alligator. With a little teriyaki sauce it was pretty good.

Comment by Jack — November 16, 2009 #
obviously i need to take flirting lessons from you. i have no idea how to flirt. seriously. can you start an online course on flirting? pretty please?

i also want to see pictures of the boots and know how they fit. i,too, have calf issues.

Comment by jacque — November 21, 2009 #
Hoppin by to say hello! Have a wonderful day ! Greetings from Germany :-)

Comment by Timo Herrmann — December 16, 2009 #