Humbled
February 23, 2010 at 7:07 am | Posted in animal antics, life lessons | 29 CommentsI am generally a believer in good.
But yesterday? The internet really made me a believer.
I was not going to ask for help. It’s not my style. Ask any of my friends and particularly, Mr. Darcy, who has repeatedly told me he’s going to help me pay the vet bill to which each and every time I have responded, “NO YOU WILL NOT.” Because I like to be emphatic and stubborn. And, okayfineIadmitit, proud.
But when Tomato wrote that post and I read his kind words, I started to think about how if the tables were turned, I’d do what he was doing. I have done what he did. So why am I refusing to let people help me when I need help? I suppose that’s another topic for therapy. I am not comfortable feeling needy or vulnerable or weak. In that moment when the vet announced the estimate I was simultaneously overwhelmed with worry over my cat’s lives and utter panic over my depleted bank account and I just. . . crumbled.
You can’t always pick yourself up all by yourself.
It’s a very good thing to have friends who are not only generous but also pushy (cough TOMATO cough- in a good way, of course) and for that I am thankful. I am so very, very moved by the outpouring of support and love via your sweet words and generous donations. I woke up yesterday to hundreds of dollars in my pay pal account and I cried. At 6am. I CRIED.
You have, time and time again, showed up for me and even if I have not met you in person I want you to know you have touched my life and my heart and I am sincerely and profoundly grateful.
To say thank you seems small but it is all I have. These two little big words: Thank you.
This is me virtually hugging you.
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you totally deserve all the goodness you receive.
Comment by gorillabuns— February 23, 2010 #
ditto what buns just said. xo
Comment by Carrisa— February 23, 2010 #
Also ditto. You give good, you get good.
Comment by mainlyclearskies— February 23, 2010 #
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting and being able to support oneself. On a day-to-day basis. That said, there will always be times in our lives when we need to lean on others. For emotional, physical and even financial support. It doesn’t show weakness. It just shows you’re human. Here’s hoping the help and love and support keeps flooding in. You deserve it.
Comment by Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks— February 23, 2010 #
Yay! So glad the Internet came through for you. You deserve it!
Comment by Jess— February 23, 2010 #
“even if I have not met you in person I want you to know you have touched my life and my heart and I am sincerely and profoundly grateful”
See, that’s how I feel about some of the things you have written about on this blog. Giving a little back was just a way to let you know how much I/we appreciate what you are doing.
Comment by Roxie— February 23, 2010 #
Good begets good, my friend!
Comment by LesleyG— February 23, 2010 #
One of the reasons I love you so much is that you sincerely *don’t* realize how much you’re loved and appreciated by so, so many. You’re real. You’re genuine. And you’re an amazing friend and person.
I’m not that hopeful of a person, but I’ve been amazed lately at the power, spirit and generosity of the internetz with any kind of support. I’m so glad to have more supporting evidence of that.
Remember, chica: you are loved.
Comment by Jurgen Nation— February 23, 2010 #
Bonus? Every time people show up, it makes it a LITTLE easier to consider asking for help the next time around. :)
Comment by sandra— February 23, 2010 #
You deserved it, Sizz.
Comment by san— February 23, 2010 #
You’re just one of those people that even though many of us have never met you face-to-face, we’ve grown to love your warmth, compassion, and honesty. You’re one of the good guys. You make it easy.
Comment by wordnerd— February 23, 2010 #
I’m just paying it forward; and happy to be able to do so for someone that I really think deserves it!
Comment by Varinia— February 23, 2010 #
This is me virtually hugging you back.
You are teh awesome, Sizz. Don’t you ever forget it.
Comment by Faith— February 23, 2010 #
Hugs toots!
You deserve more than you give yourself credit for.
Comment by Ashleigh— February 23, 2010 #
Hugz for Sizzle!
Comment by Dumblond— February 23, 2010 #
We know you’d do the same for others if needed–that alone makes it so worthwhile! It’s actually very fun and affirming to an act of kindness for someone else! :-)
Comment by Cindi— February 23, 2010 #
How did I not know about this?? I’m so out of the loop.
You DO deserve every bit of goodness that comes your way, love. I mean it.
Comment by Angella— February 23, 2010 #
Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to help, because that feels good too. Think of all those ripples of goodness spreading out from your little home right now, across the world. The Internet is the best :)
Comment by Jenn— February 23, 2010 #
We hearts you :)
Comment by Windsor Grace— February 23, 2010 #
XO. That’s all. :)
Comment by Mel Heth— February 23, 2010 #
You deserve it, and by association, so do your kitties. Sadly, sometimes only by asking do we learn our value to others… Happily, your bank account answered you this morning!
Comment by bikerchick— February 23, 2010 #
xo
Comment by jenny 2 times— February 23, 2010 #
This made me teary. It really is refreshing to (once again) see such a level of generosity and compassion in friendternets. I really hope to meet you sooner than later! xo
Comment by 180|360— February 23, 2010 #
I am soooo not the kind to ask for help either. And yet, I will offer it freely and willingly to others without asking for anything in return. What’s up with that?
Well, at the end of the day, I am touched by how much good a community can do and I’ve seen it time and time again.
We love you and the kitties, Sizz!
Comment by diane— February 23, 2010 #
It’s just perfect confirmation that what goes around comes around!
Comment by Aimee— February 23, 2010 #
I am sorry I was not able to donate anything, but very happy others were :)
Comment by kilax— February 24, 2010 #
YAY. 6am tears (the good kind) are sometimes just what the doctor ordered.
Comment by Kerri Anne— February 25, 2010 #
I’m overdrawn (GOD sobriety makes me honest) and so I have to wait a couple days. And then I am sending you money. Don’t let me forget. Because I love you. Because you are a generous, generous girl. Because you are a warm quilt.
xo
Comment by maggie, dammit— February 26, 2010 #
I love what you said about not always being able to pick yourself up alone. We all need help sometime, huh?
Comment by Long Story Longer— February 27, 2010 #