Shop Til You Drop(kick Someone)

I’m not a crowd-loving person. I’ve mentioned this a few hundred times already. I don’t particularly enjoy people up in my personal space, or fighting like a salmon swimming upstream to break through the herd of people shuffling along with no awareness of anyone but themselves, or the cacophony of loud voices and what should be private conversation broadcast for your neighbor to overhear. Mr. Darcy is not a fan either and yet we braved Ikea this weekend.

Let me tell you, even a soft serve ice cream cone can not soothe the wounds inflicted from shopping there. We managed to escape without maiming anyone or getting into an argument with one another.

But then we went to Old Navy. Which was, of course, a very baaaaaaaaaad idea.

You see, Old Navy has very chirpy, seemingly helpful staff who can’t seem to run a check out line to save their life. Every time I go there, I am subjected to a long wait and this cannot be because I have the worst luck ever picking a check out line. (Can it?) There’s inevitably someone who needs to return something or ten somethings and they just so happen to be in my line. I switched lines thinking the shorter one would race me through faster. NEVER TRUST A SHORT LINE. The customer in front of me had multiple purchases so she could use multiple coupons. I was deceived! After the first transaction which required a lot of negotiation and I was starting my deep breathing to calm myself, the check out woman says to me, “This is going to take a while.” So I hop on over to my first line and the clerk rings me up and overcharges me but I didn’t notice until I was out the door. It was buy one, get one free so I had to go back. This is why shopping on-line appeals to me- no crowds, no chirpy, inept sales clerks, no deep breathing required.

But hey, I got two new pairs of yoga pants for the price of one.

We didn’t stop there because we are apparently masochists. Macy’s was having a one day sale so we went. Mr. Darcy managed to get three new shirts at $10 each (total steal!) whereas all I got was a minor meltdown in the dressing room.

But that, my dears, is a post for another day.

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21 thoughts on “Shop Til You Drop(kick Someone)

  1. Next fall, an Ikea is opening in Denver. There is half of me that is going “FINALLY!” and the other half of me knowing it’ll probably be another year before I can actually go there for all the people in the store I’d have to plow through just to shop. I was made for Internet shopping.

  2. i really don’t think i’ve ever been to an IKEA where it wasn’t a madhouse (regardless of the day or time)… i’ve even been there before the store has opened, and was amazed at the amount of people who had the same idea… i have to admit though, our last adventure ended on a good note – it was swedish meatball tuesday… :)

  3. So I’m a regular reader (okay lurker) but I had to pop my head out after I laughed SO HARD at your description of your Old Navy line drama! Not at you, at me! I have THE WORST line juju ever :) Whichever line I choose anywhere, slows to a crawl – especially if I try to choose the line that I didn’t choose (does that make sense??) My husband always has me get in line and then takes all of our items somewhere else and then I’m supposed to wait until he’s being checked out to leave my line! I am very impressed woth your stamina in braving THREE stores in one day!

  4. “fighting like a salmon swimming upstream to break through the herd of people shuffling”

    With that line I knew you went to Ikea. How sad is that.

  5. I hear you about crowds, I can’t take them either. That’s precisely why I avoid like the plague going to Chinatown in NYC, it could be the death of me.

  6. Due to the monstrosity of IKEA and the crowds, I am ready to run screaming out of the building within 10 minutes. As everybody knows the layouts of those stores, you know that means I barely make it off the escalator. Plus, the furniture seems so small. My dog barely fits on their stuff, forget my ass!

  7. Listen to me veeeeery carefully: if at all possible (BIG if here) try going to Ikea during the day on a weekday (I know, almost impossible but hey, maybe on a day off) because there a heck of a lot less people there then and you won’t want to stab anyone.
    I love that store but damn can it get ridiculously crowded!

  8. Catching up… as you know from FB, I’m THRILLED at the whole “his and hers” thing going on!!!!! YES!!!! You deserve all the happiness you can grab. :)

  9. Shopping at IKEA, even when it’s not so crowded, always makes me hyperventilate. Something about pretty objects and infinite choices reminds me that until I’m a millionaire with a full-time housekeeper, my house will continue to scream, “I’m a starving artist who piles books directly on the floor,” no matter how many SKRIBENT bookends I have.

  10. I feel you. Going to IKEA is a traumatic experience for everyone. And, how the hell do you get out of there?! And, I do most of my shopping on ebay because, 1) shopping literally makes me feel sick 2) Save money!!

  11. I always end up in the damn short-but-longest line too. Mr. W has to do meditative breathing pretty much any time we’re in line anywhere. I’m thinking it makes a difference which locations you hit, too. The Old Navy in Burbank is never crowded during the week – maybe you need to make a special trip down for your shopping. ;)

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