You Will Thank Me Later

May 26, 2011 at 8:00 am | Posted in Sizzle Recommends | 17 Comments

I need to tell you about two things I am totally diggin’ on right now:

#1 This sports bra:

This bra is ta-ta-riffic!

I am seriously in love with it. Thank you, Aimee, for telling me about it. It is the most comfortable sports bra I have ever worn. It doesn’t smush my girls into a uni-boob and the velcro straps make it a breeze to adjust. I can dance and jump and downward dog with nary a care in the world when wearing this bra. PLEASE DO YOURSELF (AND YOUR BREASTS) A FAVOR AND BUY IT.

#2 This show:

Hi Jax. I miss you.

Who would have thought that a show about a biker gang in a small town in California starring (formerly know as) Peg Bundy and Ron Pearlman would float my boat? BUT IT DOES. SO MUCH!

Side note: Who remembers that show Beauty and the Beast? I think Ron may have looked better there.

We blew through the first two seasons in a week (one Sunday I didn’t leave the couch due to this addictive show) and now I am going to have to buy Season 3 just to see what the heck is going on with Jax and Abel and everyone because as much as I know that they are not real people (as Mr. Darcy is fond of reminding me) I want desperately to know what is happening in their (fictional) lives. Sure, they sell guns and have killed people and have full on back tattoos depicting their “club” logo, and always wear their biker vests which leaves me wondering when do they get laundered but so what? THIS SHOW IS AWESOME.

I had similar obsessions with Dexter and Weeds but my current love of Sons of Anarchy surpasses both of those. If you do start watching this, don’t say I didn’t warn you to set aside a chunk of time. You will get sucked in.

P.S. You’re welcome.

The Rock Star Keeps Rockin’

May 24, 2011 at 6:01 am | Posted in cohabitation, shout out, why I love him | 36 Comments

Mr. Darcy landed himself a job.

APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE!

It’s a good paying gig at a company he is very familiar with and (bonus!) where all his friends work and (double bonus!) he’s risen in the ranks from Concept Artist to Art Director.

Not a bad way to start off a week.

Doing Good = Feeling Good

May 23, 2011 at 6:59 am | Posted in fun & frolicking, volunteering | 11 Comments

A bunch of my civic-minded, labor-ready, volunteer-type friends, AKA The Ulterior Motive Mob, gathered Saturday to clean up River City Skate Park in the name of Seattle Works Day. It was a blast! Though I might be saying that because I didn’t have to use a shovel or a wheelbarrow. Being a Team Captain seemed to keep me occupied with finding jobs for everyone on my crew, locating tools, coordinating duties and, of course, updating social media with our progress.

If there was a word of the day it was: MULCH. I kid you not. When we arrived there was a massive pile of mulch that had been sitting for many weeks waiting to be spread. In those many weeks, it had rained a lot. You get the idea (soggy!).

Ready? Set? MULCH!

Add to that, knee-high grass overgrown around the sloping skate-ready walls, invasive weeds that grow weeds up to 7 feet deep and a poisonous plant that, if you were to touch it with an open cut, would leave a burn looking much like you’d rubbed supper glue on it (let’s avoid that one, shall we?!), we had our work cut out for us.

These babes did a bad ass job pulling up stubborn roots of invasive plants. (Side note: I met 3 out of 4 of these ladies thanks to the internet!)

Everyone pitched in. Even Mr. Darcy who now can be seen doing yard work which means we’ll have no excuse next weekend when my mom asks us to help her in her yard. (D’oh!)

He even got a blister. Soft artists hands aren't used to this kind of hard labor. (Just ignore his crazy face. He was possibly at the end of his mulching rope.)

It wasn’t all socializing and live tweeting for me. I swear! I have proof.

My grassy chucks should prove I engaged in some form of labor if you won't take my word for it. And no, I didn't just wade thru cut grass.

Everyone did such a tremendous job. Look at how much mulch we got rid of:

The mulch pile decreased by at least 75%.

More pictures of my hard-working friends:

Danielle spreading mulch. This was totally overgrown with grass when we arrived!

Carls picks up trash (minus the orange jumpsuit).

Terrell is very handy with a broom. (Best visual I have of the actual skate part of the park.)

Thanks to my friend, Frank, for being an awesome co-captain and all around great pal.

Co-Captain powers activate! Form of an awesome volunteer group!

I can’t thank everyone enough for taking time out of their Saturday to work so tirelessly on this project. Since the park is entirely volunteer run, it’s so important that we get out and help keep it up for the kids in that neighborhood. My nephew lives right near there and he already is using it to “skate” with his scooter. Time flies so fast, in no time at all he’ll be out there skateboarding, hair probably flopping in his eyes, pants preferably not sagging below butt level (What? An Aunt can hold out hope!). It means a lot to the neighborhood that we came out to help as evidenced by some of the neighbors stopping by to pitch in.

Despite everyone’s sore muscles and blistered hands the next day, I hope the members of The Ulterior Motive Mob feel good about doing good.

I’d love to hear about your own volunteering. When will you be volunteering next? How do you do good for your community?

I’ve got an upcoming fundraising dance-a-thon event benefiting another local organization that does great work. Stay tuned for ways to help and get involved in that. (Locals- do you like to boogie? You are going to LOVE this one.)

The Tide of Friendship

May 18, 2011 at 7:24 am | Posted in my neurosis | 50 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships.

When I lived in The Cruz I had a close-knit group of friends to pal around with. We were, for the most part, serial dating and free for impromptu gatherings, evenings cooking dinner and watching American Idol, walks along the ocean, drunk karaoke-ing. It was the best of times and I didn’t even know it. I guess this is nostalgia at its finest but lately I’ve been missing the ease that came with living within blocks of my best friends and the sureness of those friendships. Now, years later, we’re scattered along the West & East Coasts (Hi Dumpling in North Carolina!) and our connection, while still unbreakable in my opinion, is stunted by busy schedules, grown up responsibilities and many, many miles. Weeks pass without conversation. Months fly by and my only glimpse into their life is a Facebook status update or an email.

Moving to Seattle was the right decision for me even though it broke me open, leaving my tight-knit group of friends behind. Maybe I set in motion what was meant to be- first I flew the coop, then the rest of them followed towards their own destinies. We did the right thing because life is about moving on. But grant me this moment of nostalgia. . . to remember when it was effortless and I felt surrounded by unconditional friendship.

I have friends here. I do not mean to imply that whatsoever. I know a lot of great people, actually. It’s just. . . different. I feel like I have been swimming upstream trying to forge friendships akin to the ones I left behind. But life seems too full for everyone and there isn’t enough time or impetus to make it so. We’re all so busy with LIFE- jobs and chores and errands and obligations and homes and kids and pets and family and boy/girlfriends, etc. Is this a part of growing up? That it becomes harder to make friends? As a 38 year old woman with two jobs, a live in boyfriend, and no kids, I feel like I am in limbo when it comes to fitting into distinct groups. I am no longer in my 20′s, interested in partying all night or going to concerts that start at 11pm on a work night, even though I delight in the company of my 20-something friends. I am not a parent so that puts me on the outside of that sector. I can’t meet up for play dates or swap birth stories. Even being part of a couple presents its challenges- trying to find  like-minded couples to hang out with where both of us meld with the couple can be difficult. And factor in you have 4 schedules to balance rather than 2 and well, making plans is difficult to say the least. I joked to Mr. Darcy that someone needs to make a couples website where you can find compatible couples to befriend (not a swingers site, ahem).

I try to plan get togethers in the hopes a community will be born. I send mass emails to local acquaintances inviting them to shows or festivals or what-have-you thinking maybe if I just keep asking, the connections I long for will appear. Maybe it’s the dreaded Seattle Freeze- where everyone is friendly but it’s hard to make friends. I piece together what I can but I feel. . .left out. It’s juvenile and silly and, well, it is true for me right now. Recently I’ve been feeling the left out-ness acutely. A series of small moments have occurred with friends and acquaintances and this feeling of not being on anyone’s A list has built up inside of me. I feel lame even typing that but that is the feeling. And as Kaply reminds me, feelings aren’t facts. But damn it, sometimes they suck.

I debated even posting this because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (because that is so not my intention!) but in the end I needed to type this out to gain some perspective. Maybe I’m just in a mood or this is a phase. I’m sure things will shift with time. I just wanted to pause and give myself this moment to feel the nostalgia and the longing. And to honor that twinge of sadness plucking at my heart.

This post should not be read while eating.

May 17, 2011 at 8:50 am | Posted in animal antics, cohabitation, everyday frustrations | 21 Comments

When I can distinguish the hunger meow from the my-butt’s-about-to-blow meow, I’ve reached the pinnacle of closeness that I never wanted to achieve with my pet.

Let me put this plainly: Dash, our carbaholic chubster cat, has been having a case of the squirts. This is too much information for you, I realize. It’s too much for us to witness, frankly. Our pain is your pain. You’re welcome.

Last week we were forced to roll up all our throw rugs to avoid scrubbing on our hands and knees the dark circles, remnants of a kitty gone bad and a butt gone squirty. Dash was so bad off that morning he was wandering the apartment crying his sad poo-is-a-comin’ meow, inconsolable and distraught. He paced the apartment until RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME he just squatted and began emptying his bowels on our hallway rug. The litter box was about 5 kitty steps away BUT NO.

Butt, no! I should say.

I started adding rice to his food and that helped for a bit. Our daily texts involved updates on The Poo Situation and the consistency of our cat’s shits. It has come to this. Gone are the flirty innuendo or shmoopy texts replaced sadly with “his shit seemed firmer.” Bed linens have been washed because I don’t know about you but I do not enjoy sleeping on a pillow with a poo stain. No thank you. I’m not sure what is worse- waking up to discover your pillow has been smeared while you slumbered or having to wrestle your cat into submission while you try to clean his hairy butthole.

It’s a toss-up. They both win for grossest.

It seems we are not out of the woods yet. Around 4:30am last night our nostrils were assaulted awake by the distinct odor of Dash shit, forcing a sleepy Mr. Darcy to leap from bed to dispose of it lest we die in our sleep from the stench. The very fact that we can identify which cat has pooed is deeply troubling to me. Why should we have children when we’re already at that stage where our cats well-being and shit cycle consume us, where we can distinguish his cries and jump to action?

There is a point when you become too close to your pet.

And we have arrived.

Music Love, Local Edition

May 13, 2011 at 7:31 am | Posted in float my boat, musicality | 4 Comments

It wouldn’t be nice of me to keep these two Seattle gems to myself so here you go:

Alessandra Rose opened for Kris Orlowski last night at the Columbia City Theater and OH MY HELL I adore her voice. It’s like Patsy Cline meets Charity from The Head and The Heart (another local great).

If you love this song as much as I do, you can download it for FREE. There is a link there under the video on You Tube.

Speaking of Kris Orlowski, he’s the next big thing in Seattle. Check it out now so you can say you knew him when (and also if you enjoy awesomeness).

Again, if you’re loving on Kris, there is a free download on his site.

Whirlwind

May 10, 2011 at 7:15 am | Posted in float my boat, living out loud, visitors | 16 Comments

You guys? I’m tired.

I have a good excuse though.

Friday, after getting my hair colored (adios grays!), I took Mr. Darcy out for dinner (his favorite, pizza) and then I made him drive because I’d had two vodka tonics (safety first!). On the way to our friend’s engagement party a familiar song came on the radio, one that I dance to in Nia class, and so I gave Mr. Darcy a car dance to which he claimed I was being “distracting”. My sweet moves distract all the boys while they drive (sang like that milkshake song). (Maybe I should film it for your entertainment? . . . Maybe not.) We arrived at the party a little bit late and wouldn’t you know it? A train was blocking our path from where we parked to the bar. So I said enthusiastically, “Let’s jump it!” Please keep in mind that the train was stopped. Go ahead and think us foolish if you must. Mr. Darcy went along with it and we grabbed the rails and hauled ourselves over. I was laughing the whole time and as I went to take my last step off the ladder, the train started moving. Phew! We just made it.

I hosted my book group on Saturday and got it into my head I would make two new dishes. This might have been do-able and not stress-inducing if I had not also been cleaning my house in preparation for their arrival AND my friend RaeRae was landing that very morning for a 3 day stay. Everything turned out delicious- my first-ever flourless chocolate cake (easy & scrumptious) and a yummy kale, artichoke, ricotta “pie” plus my newest obsession, roasted broccoli. I was happy to have my book group friends meet one of my best friends. Then it was pedicures with my mom and sister in early celebration of Mother’s Day and a visit to a local wine bar. Since we’d already started drinking wine earlier in the evening, RaeRae & I decided to just keep going and, oops!, by the end of the evening we’d polished off 2 bottles. (No wonder I am still so dehydrated.)

RaeRae & my Mom outside Bottlehouse, taking time to smell the flowers.

Sunday brought the sun so we took to the streets for a thrift store shopping spree where in we both scored some majorly cute stuff. I forced RaeRae to try on clothes she would not normally pick out- a top with some stripe action and a dress that wasn’t completely black and to the her ankles- and I think she saw the positives of A) trying on clothes to see how they FIT and B) going outside your comfort zone. It was the first weekend of the farmer’s market and my absolute favorite vendor was back- Patty Pan! They make the most delicious quesadilla’s with tons of veggies.

NOM! NOM! NOM!

Then we took off for Willow’s Lodge for a night of just us girls. We splurged a bit but it was worth it. We wanted to have girl time to unwind but not have to drive forever to feel like we were having a getaway. Willow’s Lodge is in the epicenter of a lot of local wineries and next door to Redhook Brewery. Any hotel that greets us with a glass of wine wins me over. Though, after all our wine drinking the night before we skipped wine tasting and stuck with other libations like a filthy Martini (her) and a White Russian (me). The White Russian was a post-dinner drink and it inspired me to don the cushy robe that came with the room and get all Lebowski.

Why are robes so unsexy? It's like a throw blanket meets a mumu.

The room was decadent with a deep, big tub that we both took turns soaking in and comfy beds and a fireplace. After dinner and tub soaking and cocktails, we zoned in front of the flat screen tv and by zoned I mean I fell asleep and left RaeRae alone to watch The Judds reality tv show. In the morning she proclaimed she was traumatized by it because their story is so damn sad and that Naomi is a piece of work. We went full on splurge and ordered room service which RaeRae had to handle because the ear plugs I was wearing were so powerful I slept through both my alarm and the knocking on the door. We milked every minute of that hotel room and left just before the check out time. Ahhh, girls getaways are so good.

I tried to take this at least 10 times. RaeRae is beautifully tall and I am pleasingly short which makes taking self-portraits together challenging.

We got home in time to pick up Mr. Darcy and join Kaply for a leisurely lunch at Poquitos, a new joint in our neighborhood that I will definitely be returning to. Then it was off to the airport for my dear friend and off to therapy for me. I came home after my appointment totally and completely frazzled and exhausted. I managed to eat cereal for dinner and watch “The Killing” and then fall asleep before 10pm. I loved spending quality time with one of my dearest friends. It does my heart good to be around her- someone that makes me laugh and gets me and vice-versa.

I think you will agree, we really sucked the marrow out of the weekend!

The Scale Can’t Measure Worth

May 5, 2011 at 6:44 am | Posted in health, processing, why I love him | 29 Comments

I haven’t owned a scale in almost a year.  I felt it was better for my mental health to not have it staring at me every time I went into the bathroom. And besides, it broke. But yesterday curiosity got the better of me when I was at my doctor’s appointment and the nurse was weighing me. She turned to write down the number in my file and I asked, “How much is it?”

She, this waif of a woman with badly dyed black hair and cool tattoos, briefly looked me in the eyes then turned back to her file saying, “218.”

“Ah,” I thought, “I’m right back to where I started.”

January of last year I was at my lowest weight in quite some time- 189lbs. This was right around when I met Mr. Darcy. The clothes I wore then still fit me today and yet I am 29lbs bigger. In the past few months, I have been working out more steadily than I have in years and subsequently I have more energy and my body is a lot more toned. I feel muscle building in my legs, my stomach, my arms. And yet, I weigh more. And yet, I like my body shape more. And yet knowing I had gained weight made me feel ashamed.

During my doctor’s appointment, we discussed risk factors to pregnancy for older women. (NO! I am not pregnant nor am I attempting to become so! I just like to be informed and well, I did just turn 38 and the way life is going, we’ll probably not be married for a couple years or have a baby which means my 40′s will be my baby-making years.) I talked about being overweight as a factor and when I said, “I used to be much thinner” she countered with, “You used to be LIGHTER.” I can’t tell you how that simple word change from her softened me. I was going directly back to judging myself for not being thin as a measure of my worthiness. Because despite the distraction of a pap smear (ha!) I had been mentally spiraling down from the fact that I was over 200lbs again.

I texted Mr. Darcy after my appointment, “I know what I weigh now.” To which he responded, “You are weighed in cuteness. Just keep that in mind.” Is it any wonder that I love him so? To have someone adore me for who I am, just as I am, without requiring me to change is so freeing. It’s hard for me to accept it but I am really working on it.

My ultimate goal used to be TO BE THIN and now it’s just TO ACCEPT MYSELF. Please don’t misconstrue what that means to me. It means that I do not spend countless minutes/hours/days/(my lifetime!) berating myself for my body’s shape and size. It means I focus on health- moving my body, working up a sweat, eating well, getting enough sleep, everything in moderation, and for fuck’s sake enjoying the hell out of what my body can do. If I happen to become thinner lighter in the process, so be it.

Measuring

May 3, 2011 at 6:38 am | Posted in cohabitation, life lessons, love, processing, why I love him | 35 Comments

The sun was shining so we spent the day leisurely strolling our neighborhood, sipping tea while watching hipsters and their dogs, their ill-fitting clothing and bed head hair take to the streets. We went grocery shopping and filled our fridge and pantry, not worrying about the cost. We took ourselves out to a nice dinner, courtesy of a Group On deal, and sipped on a minty gin drink while discussing work and life. We laughed for a couple hours as we watched and listened to David Sedaris read from his latest book and his personal diary. Then we made our way to a wine bar for a little dessert.

I took a moment to check in with the world via Twitter while Mr. Darcy stepped out to take a call. I simultaneously discovered that Bin Laden had been killed and two friends of ours had gotten engaged. I sat there flooded with emotions. The din of the restaurant surrounded me. Two people next to me at the bar were discussing Osama and I chimed in briefly. Then I began to wonder what was taking Mr. Darcy so long. Something struck me in my gut. I recognized it as dread and in walked Mr. Darcy, his face a mix of shock and defeat. The caller did not share good news.

A day can go from sunshine and laughter to pulling the rug out from under you in less than 5 minutes. What was reality shifts like tectonic plates and your world gets tossed from here to there, breakables dropping, and your heart racing.

Deep breath.

He had been feeling ill at ease. Signs were pointing to it not being a good fit but we tried to talk them down, dismiss them and chalk them up to new job jitters and old neuroses. But his gut instinct had been right (aren’t they always?) and his new place of business ended his contract after a measly 2.5 weeks. They didn’t even give him a chance. Angry, shocked, embarrassed, sad- you name it, the emotions were tumbling around. I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes, “We are going to be okay.”

Mr. Darcy is an amazingly talented artist who was put in a position that did not work to his strength at a job that clearly has some leadership issues. I know there is something better out there for him, a place that will provide him the space to flourish, not give him misdirection or make him doubt himself. Sometimes bigger isn’t always best. I don’t want him to doubt for one second that he’s not capable, strong, and worthy. I know I can’t make him feel anything but I will be there, standing beside him, because we are a team.

Sometimes life hands you a test and you have to smile at it, walk into the fear of it, holding  your love’s hand.

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