For the most part, the people who come to dance class are a bunch of women in all shapes, sizes, ages, and abilities who come to get their sweat on. It’s a supportive, welcoming environment where our teachers encourage us to have fun, listen to our bodies, and feel the joy that comes with movement. And I love it for all those reasons. I couldn’t help but notice a few standouts in class though. Some particularly special folks who deserve mention. . .
The “I’m a Dancer” Dancer: She has a hot body- lithe, curvy, bendy. She wears half shirts and stands right at the mirror near the teacher. She is a regular and knows the moves well. So well that she often over-exaggerates the routines to push her work out. She will spin and leap and bend back and down, glistening in sweat, watching her reflection always. She annoys the crap out of me mostly because part of me wants to be her (but with a lot less posturing).
The Inappropriate Outfit Dancer: She wears swimsuits or old leotards with her bra showing. Her ample breasts are not well supported. When she bends to stretch to the floor, you can practically see her cervix. She leaves the class a few times in the hour to visit the restroom, I assume to dislodge her skimpy clothing from her butt cheek or re-position her boobs. She makes me uncomfortable. GET SOME SWEATS, LADY.
The Lone Male Dancer: He’s the only man in a sea of ladies. He stands in back and tries to keep up. He is usually 3 steps behind and when it comes to moving his hips, he can’t seem to find them. Good for him for trying though. (Dance class is a great place to pick up chicks.)
The Wild Abandon Dancer: She thinks she is a really good dancer. As in, she’s like a maniac on the floor, “Locking rhythm to the beat of her heart/Changing movement into light/She had danced into the danger zone/When the dancer becomes the dance” but no, she really just flails and takes up too much space on a crowded dance floor. I avoid her every single class because I learned the hard way that she would encroach on my personal dance space. And, inexplicably, something about how she wiggles her butt makes me filled with ire. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
The What’s This Song? Dancer: She’s older and doesn’t really know most of the songs. She’s not sure of the move where we gyrate our hips and chest. She goes along during the parts where we bust out some hip hop moves. She prefers when the teacher plays old soul or funk tunes. She can electric slide like nobody’s business. I hope I am still dancing at her age.