Snowshoeing has long been on my list of things to try. If I ever actually got off my bum and finished my Life List I would have put it on there. In fact if I ever finish it, I might just add it so I can cross it off because Saturday my sister, a couple of girlfriends and I drove about an hour East and went snowshoeing.
It was a blast. Of course, I had absolutely no snow gear. I borrowed snow pants from one friend, socks from another and boots and gloves from yet another. I never learned how to ski so I’ve not invested in any of the gear. I’m not what you would call “outdoorsy.”
I should back up to the beginning. When my friend Carly invited us I immediately said yes. I left the planning to her and Carah who were more seasoned snowshoe-ers. I’m trying to be less of the planner all the time. I am not a spontaneous person who is comfortable going with the flow so this is challenging for me but necessary for personal growth. Plus, I feel like a lot of my relationships continue to exist because I take the initiative to make the plans or send the invite. I’ve been trying to let people reach out to me or even see who bothers to. Because of this I’ve been re-evaluating a lot of my friendships because I’m seeing which relationships I was carrying.
I digress. Sort of.
It’s important to note that I wasn’t “in charge” because as I walked up to Carly’s at 8:45am on Saturday at the same time as my sis, I saw that she carried snowshoes in hand. I did not have snowshoes. Out of all the things I thought to borrow, I had assumed that we were going to a place where snowshoes could be rented. I never asked about this specifically because as I said, I assumed, and thus made an ass out of myself. Because yes, I was supposed to have snowshoes.
Needless to say, I panicked and as my sister was ringing Carly’s buzzer to let us in I was already bowing out, feeling totally embarrassed that I hadn’t understood I was supposed to get the snowshoes BEFORE we left. I felt like a total idiot, very ashamed of my error. My sister insisted that I was coming and that we’d figure it out. Carly was equally encouraging. When we got to Carah’s car she went so far as to call a friend and drive us over to borrow hers. A friend who was in the middle of making pancakes with her young son and husband while they were still lounging in their pajamas.
I was and am humbled by their flexibility and support. They never let me wallow in my feelings of inadequacy and I appreciate it so much. I’m so glad I went with them. It was just a really fun day full of good conversation, laughter and beauty. I’m so lucky to have great girlfriends and to live in such a gorgeous place. Every day I am learning to loosen up, take risks, forgive myself, and be open to what comes.
I can’t wait to go snowshoeing again.