Engagement Asides

After Mr. Darcy proposed and we’d had a couple cocktails at the restaurant where we had our first date, we headed home. Upon parking in the driveway as we were walking up to the front door, he stopped on the sidewalk and yelled, “I LOVE SIZZLE JONES* AND I ASKED HER TO MARRY ME AND SHE SAID YES!” I was like, “What are you doing?! Shhh! It’s late!” but secretly I loved it. We got up to our apartment, grinning like two fools, and called some family and friends that we thought would still be awake. Later when I checked my email there was a message from a tenant who wrote, “OMG did you just get engaged?! I think I just heard Mr. Darcy* yelling from the street. Congratulations!” I told Darcy and he was like, “How did she know!?” Um, hello, I think the entire neighborhood now knows. Later that week I was emailing with a tenant and she asked if she had heard Darcy yelling about asking me to marry him and did we get engaged?

Hahaha, yes.

*We used our real names in the actual occurrence of said events.

*****

Mr. Darcy took my sister and mother out for dinner the Thursday before he asked me to marry him to ask for their blessing. When they got the email from him asking them to join him for dinner they both got excited and teary because they knew why he was setting up the dinner date. I am not old-fashioned by any means but I am so touched that Mr. Darcy took the time to include them. And I can’t believe they kept a secret for 3 days!

*****

I was on the phone with my sister and my nephew a couple days after the engagement when I realized it might be too long before I could see her in person to ask her to be my Maid of Honor so I just busted out the question to which she said, “I’ve been waiting my whole life to be in someone’s wedding!” Which I think is a yes. When she got married I was her Maid of Honor (no bridesmaids) and so now the tables have turned. That’s about the time that Finn got on the line and asked, “TeeTee? Can I do a dance at your wedding?” I looked at Darcy and we both said, “SURE!” And then we asked him if he wanted to be in our wedding and carry our rings. He agreed though he does not feel excited about wearing a tie. He is, however, super pumped about his dance performance to Justin Beaver’s “Baby, baby, baby”. (And yes, I know it’s Justin Bieber but that is what my nephew calls him.)

*****

Mr. Darcy’s family has this tradition. I noticed it when I was last there for Thanksgiving. I spied some framed photos- one of his sister and another of his brother each standing in front of a jewelry store. I was like, “Why are they standing in front of jewelry stores?” I was told that those photos were taken when they were going to pick out their engagement/wedding rings. I looked at Darcy and was like, “You better find someone to go with you!” His Dad replied, “You better pick out your own ring. Don’t trust us to do it!”

Months later when Darcy was going to buy the ring, he brought along a friend to snap the photo (I have yet to see it). After he’d paid for the ring, the salesman at the antique shop handed it to him in an envelope. AN ENVELOPE! Mr. Darcy was taken aback but even when he asked for a box they claimed they were for display only. As he and his friend were driving away, Mr. Darcy took the ring out of the envelope to inspect it further and promptly dropped it between the seat and the console separating the driver’s and passenger’s seats. After freaking out, he managed to fish it out and his friend was like, “Dude, stop playing with it!”

*****

People really do ask you “When are you getting married” right after you tell them you got engaged. Even if you got engaged like 5 minutes before.

If I ever did this to you, I’m sorry.

*****

Surprisingly, the thing causing me the most anxiety is dress shopping.

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32 thoughts on “Engagement Asides

  1. Indeed, people love to ask when you’re getting married the moment the ring touches your finger. It seems that most do not understand the “I want to just enjoy this phase” part of the process…

    Also? I am absolutely sure that wedding dance is gonna be AMAZING :)

  2. Ok, do not have anxiety about your wedding dress because:

    A: You have amazing style
    B: Your style is very “YOU”
    C. You look awesome in dresses!

    So um, you kind of have it in the bag! Unless of course your anxiety is that 500 dresses will look amazing on you and you will only have to choose one. And in that case, I say: COSTUME CHANGES! :)

  3. Dress shopping was most stressful for me, too! It just didn’t feel natural, as I’m not a fashionista-type by any stretch of the imagination. Everything I tried on in the boutique felt awkward, like I was playing princess dress-up. I did not find “the one” and I did not “just know.” And I definitely did not feel like a “bride.”

    That being said, in retrospect, I loved the dress I ultimately picked. J.Crew, affordable, comfortable, simple and flattering. And I got it online!

  4. This post just made me smile, so thank you for sharing!! I LOVE that Mr. Darcy’s took your mom and sister to dinner and asked for their blessing. So sweet!!! And I also LOVE his family tradition of the photo in front of the jewelry store. What a cool idea!! Lots of exclamation points in this comment, but hey… I’m a sap and I love “love” and the personal stories that go with it. Can’t wait to read future posts :-)

  5. Yay! Such fun stories to remember this part of your life. I am so excited for you, Sizz. Can’t wait to hear more. :) xoxoxoxo

  6. I was SO anxious about dress shopping too, and I ended up REALLY having fun during it. I just did a bunch of research about local bridal salons and called around to find one that was pretty laid back and had a variety of sample sizes available to try on. And I brought my sister, who has a body type similar to mine but smaller, so she could try on too-small dresses that I liked so that I could get an idea of how they would look on my body shape. That’s actually how I bought my dress. The sample was too small for me to try but it looked great on my sister’s body shape and I loved the dress and studied it extensively to decide if it would look good on me too (diagonal ruching, slimming. A-line cut, flattering. Etc.) and eventually took the plunge and ordered it without having tried it on myself. And it was AWESOME. I was SO happy with it.

    You’ll be fine! It IS anxiety-producing, especially if you aren’t a size 6, but it will end up being fun if you find a store with the right vibe.

  7. The that first story — priceless! Made me smile.

    Andrew asked my Dad for my hand at our family reunion, but I didn’t find out for months AFTER we got engaged. I thought it was super sweet and I think it made my Dad like Andrew even more.

    I was excited to go dress shopping with my friend Ashley and then she up and moved to Dallas. I definitely don’t want to go alone, but I also don’t want to go with the 2 friends of mine who want to take me because they have these crazy ideas about what my wedding should look like, down to my dress, and I think they’d drive me nuts. Still love them though, of course!

  8. Oh I hear you– my one experience in a traditional bridal salon left me in hives. Not sure what kind of style/budget you’re going for, but when I got married last year the best solution was to shop for bridesmaids’ dresses in white/ivory. There are a lot of them out there, they come in a wider variety of sizes, they are a fraction of the price of ‘bridal gowns’, and the places where you can go try them on are waaaaay more low key. Here is San Francisco, it seems more and more women are going with shorter/simpler/cheaper dresses so the bridesmaids-focused stores in town were very helpful and accommodating to me. Other option is to find a good seamstress and make your own dress from scratch– my friend did this and wound up with a reasonably-priced copy of a beautiful vintage-looking style that fit her perfectly.

  9. We got the “have you set a date” question as we were making the phone calls to let people know we were engaged, too! Silly question. Congrats and good luck!

  10. Re: asking about the date right away, I think it’s just that people want to express interest/excitement in your news and say something more than merely “congratulations”, and this is the obvious thing to ask, especially if they don’t know you all that well and don’t want to ask anything more personal. It’s less annoying if you think about it as people just trying to be nice…

  11. The date question was the first thing my mom asked when I told her about your engagement. I told her that since you were imaginary, I had no idea. :-)

  12. I’m sure David’s Bridal is a uncool choice for many, but that’s where I got mine. I picked out my favorites online and printed them out. My consultant gathered them up based on my dress size (she couldn’t find them all–I’m a 12/14), and I fell in love with the first one I tried on! I tried on 2 more just to verify and got back into the first dress. They make you close your eyes and ring a bell when you find your dress–goofy, but fun. I was out of there in about 90 minutes, my dress was on sale, and I spent less than $600 for a really pretty beaded dress and underthings. I brought my cool purple wedding high heels with me so I could see how they looked with the dress. It was more enjoyable than I expected.
    Do you ever watch Say Yes to the Dress? The amount of $ they will pay for a dress….holy smokes.

  13. Aww, there is lots of aww in this post. Although I wouldn’t tell anyone to not have certain feelings about certain processes, if it helps ease it at all I think your dress finding will go better than you think. You know your style and you look great in dresses!

  14. Ah, he really yelled your engagement into the streets? That is SO AWESOME!
    Also, that he took out your Mom and sister before he proposed. Love it!

    You’re going to be a beautiful bride and I have no doubt you’ll pick THE dress with no hesitation :) Can’t wait to see it!!

  15. That is such a great story. I have to say…I am a little jealous. ;-) I wish i had that kind of sweet, romantic, stuff happening. I am a mush for that kind of stuff. Enjoy all of it!

  16. So much wonderful in this post.

    You asked on twitter for venue recommendations, and I wonder if you’ve looked at Georgetown Studios? A friend was married there and it was beautiful. Urban, but also elegant. And if I remember correctly, very affordable: http://www.georgetownstudios.com/

  17. Actually it is in fact Justin Beaver. ;-)
    I can’t believe they gave him the ring in an ENVELOPE. What the heck with that??
    That’s pretty much why I didn’t tell anyone (except the people who were invited and a very, very select few as you know) that we were getting married. Can’t handle the questions.

    And don’t worry, you will find a very awesome, beautiful dress! Just go with what YOU want!! Also don’t discount looking at non-wedding boutiques/shops. They’ll have beautiful dresses and sometimes for a lot less than a wedding dress.

  18. I was super horrified about dress shopping too — I almost went alone, actually, but then my best friend wouldnt’ let me because 1) depressing, and 2) she didn’t trust my taste. Ha. We went to David’s bridal, which I HIGHLY recommend because you can try on your actual size instead of trying to squeeze into a size 6 with clothespins up the back. Anyway, I trie don 7 dresses, liked them all, LOVED the one I bought, and it was super fun – and I’d been near tears thinking about it, and thinking about having to parade out in front of people feeling like fat cow.

    It was great. Have fun. ;-)

  19. an envelope!? i just bought a sapphire in SRI LANKA, and even in a third world country they rustled up a box to put it in!! sheesh!

    i love love LOVE that first story :) :) :)

  20. Love love love that Mr. Darcy yelled out the engagement news! And that a tenant heard! Best story!

    I will also jump on the David’s Bridal bandwagon. I got my dress there even though I originally thought I would buy it from a boutique. It was way less than the boutique dresses and they had dresses I could try on in my size, rather than a sample size 4 or 6 where I was struggling to see how it would actually look on me. They have a wide range of dresses, prices and styles.

    And I have never heard of a ring being sold in an envelope! Sheesh!

  21. I’m glad you shared all these little backstories with us! So cute and fun to hear. Dress shopping was much harder than I thought it would be. I will say though that the whole wedding industry seems so much better now than it did when I got married 10 years ago, probably thanks to the blogosphere!

  22. Love each of those stories! And yes, as soon as you get engaged they want to know when you’re getting married. And as soon as you get married, they want to know when you’re having kids. I refuse to ask either of those questions of anyone.
    Oh, and dress shopping wasn’t as painful as I thought. Once I found the one I wanted, I tried on crazy ones just for my and my friends’ amusement.

  23. As a twice down the aisle woman, I’ll toss in my two cents. Know beforehand what you like, your style preference, meaning strapless, what color, fitted, puffy with bows, type of train, beaded or not, etc. When you arrive, a rep will greet you- tell them every bit of what you’re looking for- try to be very specific. It will really help her select items for you and save a ton of time. I will also say that I had the gorgeous, beaded fancy dress the first time and as lovely as it was, it was very heavy and uncomfortable, hated the bra-corset thing and crinoline that must be worn under those types of dresses. Second one was simple, required no crazy undergarments, very lightweight and flowed nicely. Was so much more enjoyable to wear and was easier to partake in the reception festivities in it.

    I’m sure you’ll find one you love as you obviously have great style and you know what suits you. Have a great lunch with your sister or friends (and maybe a drink or two to relax) then hit the shops and have some fun!

  24. I, too, loved the cute story of Mr. Darcy hollering out the news that you had said yes. (And all your tenants hearing him).

    I agree with Socal_dendrite – people are just making conversation. I think you could respond with something like, “Not yet, but we’re really excited about the big event.” It’s kind of like someone saying “How are you?” or “Have a nice day.” :-)

    I got my dress at some kind of discount bridal place and it was about a quarter of its retail price. It was kind of raw satin and old-fashioned feeling with long sleeves, and it had a train but I just got that cut off by a seamstress because it was so Not. Me. I think dress shopping is actually not that bad because there are a lot of beautiful wedding dresses out there!

  25. I love all the little stories! And I am NOT surprsied by the dress anxiety! But you have such great taste and style, I know you will look fab.

    I have not asked my sis once about dates… or much… I just wait for her to tell me. She has not asked me to be the MoH yet though! Hmm, maybe she won’t?! LOL.

    I love that Mr D was shouting that out. He seems like such a fun guy!!!

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