That’s Shitty

I have discovered that we have a cherry tree in our backyard.

How did I figure this out?

Because my car, which is parked in our driveway, is covered in half-eaten cherries and bird shit every morning.

I have run out of windshield wiper fluid.

And I will be parking on the street from now until cherry season is over.

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12 thoughts on “That’s Shitty

  1. Can you get something to cover your car with? Or not worth it?

    Also, I don’t like birds. They fly right at your face and take craps everywhere. Ew.

  2. Sigh. We have a few beautiful flowering trees in our neighborhood that leave the sidewalk a mess of dead flowers and berries. I am constantly reminded never to plant them in our future home. Here’s hoping the cherry season is a short one.

  3. Are they good cherries? The kind that you can eat? Cherry blossoms are really pretty, if there’s an upside, maybe not so bad. If they aren’t, just remember the offensive tree is in your very own back yard, of your very own home. You don’t HAVE to have a cherry tree in your back yard. ;-)

  4. I assume the offending birds are sitting on something above your car (branches of the cherry tree or some other tree?) while they eat the cherries and then shit… Maybe you can remove whatever they are perching on? [This suggestion comes from experience: I learned not to park beneath signs at the airport long-stay parking lot... car was covered in much less seagull shit when I stopped parking underneath where they perched.]

  5. Birds are such ungrateful assholes! I watched a bird perch on my preshus little birdbath yesterday, take a drink, and then turn around to shit directly into the water. Nasty little focker.

  6. Similar happened to me with my pecan tree that’s above my driveway, and the squirrels that like to sit up there and feast. :( The carport was one of the best investments I’ve made in my house.

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