Love is Love is Love

I’m lucky. I get to marry the man I love. But in the midst of all my wedding joy, I can’t help thinking about my friends who do not have the right to marry the person they love. I know that a lot of people believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I know that many people feel strongly about their religious views and don’t approve of homosexuality- think that it is a choice or that it can be “cured.”

For me though, we’re talking about people that I love who just want the same rights that heterosexual couples have. I do not think that my marriage is in any way diminished if a gay couple has the right to get married. In fact, I think it strengthens what marriage is- the ultimate expression of love between two people.

In this election Washingtonians will have the opportunity to pass Referendum 74 which would legalize same-sex marriage in the state. When I think about this referendum, I think about Tomato and his long-time boyfriend, Jenny Two Times- my friend who can officiate our ceremony but can’t marry her girlfriend if she wanted to, my bosses who have been with their partners for years, my cousin, my friends Matt & Scott, and countless other people who have touched my life. To me this referendum is very personal.  Denying the right to marry to same-sex couples is a violation of civil rights.

When people who are against same-sex marriage bring in the topic of children, I get even more upset. How many of us were raised by divorced or single parents? I do not believe that you need to have both parents to be “good” or that being parents means there is a man and a woman. Kids need love, direction, protection, and nurturing. It doesn’t matter if that’s two women, a man and a woman, or two men in my book. Protestors of gay marriage say that children will have to learn about same-sex relationships if this law is passed. To that I say, GOOD! Because there is nothing wrong with being gay! And you can’t make a person gay so stop being so afraid of talking about it. I liken that line of thinking to those who say we shouldn’t teach kids about sex because then they will have it. What? This is nonsense to me.

I hope come election day Washingtonians pass Referendum 74 and it is only the beginning of a tidal wave acceptance and fairness that will spread across the country. If you’re in Washington, I urge you to consider voting yes on Referendum 74 in this election.

And watch this video.

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26 thoughts on “Love is Love is Love

  1. I hope you guys pass it too. We have our own fight in MN, voting for or against changing the state constitution to make marriage only between a man and a woman. (Vote NO!) I said to friends yesterday, that while I definitely care about the presidency, I’m less worried about Obama on Nov. 6 (he’s got this), than I am about this stupid amendment. I’ll be sick to my stomach to wake up on Nov. 7 and see that more people voted yes than no.

    And the “think about the children” argument drives me INSANE. My husband is a police officer and he sees more than his fair share of bad parenting (the stories break my heart) and I just wish I could give these poor kids to a loving family to take care of them, no matter who that family is made up of. Because it’s about LOVE, not sex. It’s about creating a safe, caring environment, and plenty of heterosexual households are screwing that (and their children) up royally everyday.

  2. As recently as 1967 a person with dark skin wasn’t allowed to marry a person with light skin in some States in the United States. A generation from now I’d love it if our children looked back at American history and said in surprise, “You mean gays couldn’t marry back then?”

  3. Well said Sizzle. I hope enough folks in Washington agree with you and will help take one more state towards marriage equality. Past that I hope folks in the other states with referendums will do the same. The time for marriage equality is now!

  4. I couldn’t agree more! I listened to the townhall meeting last night on this and could not believe the lame arguments against I-74. They kept trying to equate kids who grow up without fathers with kids being raised by two women. What? A deadbeat Dad is not interchangeable with two same-sex loving parents. Major logic fail! And to your final point, studies have shown time and time again that teaching kids about sex actually results in them having sex for the first time at a higher average age. So another logic fail there! I was honored to attend a wedding of two of my male friends in NYC this spring. What lovely, loving, inclusive event it was. Any child would be lucky to be surrounded by all the love they shared with each other, their families and friends. I am voting YES on I-74!

  5. What drives me crazy in this whole debate is allowing gay couples to marry (in the eyes of the courts, law) doesn’t mean your church or religious institution has to alter their views of marriage or even marry such couples. As you said, this is a civil right. And it baffles me there is any separation of church and state when people’s religious views so clearly play a role in the laws of our land. Supporting you and your state in the hopes Referendum 74 passes!

  6. this! so much of this. i wish i was in WA to vote. it boggles the mind that this is still a question. i feel so weird that i can marry because of who i love and that person happens to be of the opposite sex and that opportunity is not open to those who happen to love the same sex.

  7. That is a really sweet video. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for such a well thought out post. There is too much name calling and hate, on both sides of the issue. It’s nice to read something that focuses on love.

  8. Well said, Sizz! Aside from the fact that rights shouldn’t be voted on to begin with, I hope more people who believe in equal rights go to the polls than those who don’t.

  9. What’s weird is that I never grew up thinking that marriage was between two people of different genders. Marriage was about love. So when I first discovered the concept of homosexuality as an early teenager, it never struck me as odd or unnatural for them to want to get married.

    As I continue getting older, I just don’t see what the big deal is. Why are so many people up in arms about gay couples wanting to be married? Aren’t there bigger and badder things to worry about in life? Move along, people.

  10. This video is fantastic, in part because one of Charlie’s buddies (blond girl about a minute in) is in it. Beyond that, the message is so important. Love is love is love. We in Washington have the opportunity to show the rest of the world that we value love in all capacities. So important to me that my kids grow up believing that all relationships are important and hold the same value. Come on Washington, we can do this!

  11. I WISH that even a referendum would be brought to voters where I live about same sex marriage (because I would vote YES, DANG IT). This should be a non-issue by now – anyone, and I mean ANYONE, should be able to marry the person they love.

  12. I LOVE YOU. awesome post. i couldn’t have said it better myself – all of it, from the right to love to the insane arguments against gay couples raising children. there is NOT ONE argument against gay marriage that holds up to reason/logic. the underlying arguments boil down to fear and hate, and those are inherently not logical emotions – and, hey, are EMOTIONS – and should have no place in our civil rights laws.

    (that said.. I hope you’re having wonderful pre-wedding times right now!)

  13. I have complete faith that this situation will change, if not this year, then another year soonish. It flabbergasts me that this is even an issue in this day and age.

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