Welcoming 2013

2012 was my most over-achieving year: Engagement, house buying, moving, leaving the apartment manager gig, cervical cancer, two surgeries, our wedding, Mexico honeymoon, hosting holidays in our new house. . . I think it’s safe to say that I’m ready for some calm.

My relationship with time has really shifted this year. I’ve spent hours turning into days in agony at its slow crawl and minutes turned to hours that whizzed by where all I wanted in the whole wide world was to hold onto the moment a little longer.  I’m turning 40 this year and the thought of it stirs both fear and excitement up inside me. I am so well aware that time is precious, that MY time is fleeting, and never before have I wanted to slow down and really enjoy it. No longer do I feel the rush to do, do, do but rather to sit peacefully in the life I’ve created and witness it mind, body, and soul.

Since 2007 I’ve set an intention for my new year and recapped goals I’ve set here on this blog. (Six years!) There was my year of acceptance, then gumption, of putting myself first, and then of letting go, of light, and last year’s openness. 2012’s intention was on target for what I ended up needing the most. I made myself open to love (getting engaged, planing a wedding, getting married, letting people show up for me in a scary time), to fear (finding out I had cervical cancer, subsequent surgeries, the possibility of never having a child with Mr. Darcy), and to joy (my wedding day was the happiest day of my life, finding out they removed all the cancer and we have the chance to try to have a baby, buying a house). There was a time when I was very closed off to happiness and 2012 showed me that I’ve opened myself and my heart up to feeling all the feelings.

It’s interesting to see myself getting older and how things that once were so important to me- like having New Year’s Eve plans or being at my thinnest or having a long list of goals to achieve- no longer feel like priority to me. I don’t need to be first, to be best, to be always striving for the top and the accolades. I don’t need everyone to like me or put on a brave face. I just need to be me- imperfect, flawed, unique. And being me, settling in and trusting ME, is work enough most days.

So what do I want to do with 2013 after a banner 2012?

The Intangibles

  • be present to my life
  • enjoy quiet
  • simplify
  • cultivate joyful togetherness
  • listen deeply, especially to myself
  • give myself permission to slow down
  • soften the hard angles inside me
  • exercise compassion and tenderness

The Tangibles:

  • the most important one that trumps all that follow: GET PREGNANT
  • road trip to California
  • spend a weekend at Doe Bay with friends
  • go snowshoeing
  • plant a herb garden (and try not to kill it)
  • read a book a month
  • host a semi-regular game night
  • celebrate my 40th birthday
  • meet with a financial planner
  • add walks to my exercise routine
  • continue making our house a home
  • spend a weekend at the ocean
  • learn to play an entire song on the guitar and post a video of me performing it
  • finally launch Jubilation (my event planning business)

My intention for 2013 is: EASE.

Sounds too easy, right? But it’s what I need to get better at. I’m really good at planning, doing, and achieving. I excel at being hard on myself, pushing myself to extremes, and avoiding appreciation, intimacy, and good feelings. I’d like my focus in 2013 to be on easing up on myself, on compassion, and softening. I’ve lived my life with rigidity and fear and it does not serve me anymore. So here’s to greeting 2013 and turning forty with grace and gratitude.

What are you hoping for in 2013- tangible or intangible?

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28 thoughts on “Welcoming 2013

  1. Great accomplishments and strides you made last year Sizzle. May you find inner peace in 2013 and hopefully it will lead to the most incredible journey, parenthood.

  2. I wish all of these wonderful things for you! The amount of growing you have done is amazing and I’d like to be you someday, especially around the self-acceptance. :)
    (Don’t forget- you have free legal services here for jubilation…the offer hasn’t expired)

  3. That made me laugh when I got to the end (in a good way) because Ease was my word for 2012. There were times I lost sight of it, but I really needed it after a trying and difficult 2011. I think it’s good to take time to chill out after you’ve been through a lot. Still fine tuning my thoughts for 2013 but I’ll likely post them soon. Happy New Year!

  4. Cheers to a wonderful 2013. I share some similar intentions. I just HAVE to start enjoying the present, a very hard concept for this over achiever to grasp. Happy New Year Sizz!

  5. As much a list-maker as I am (and oh, I so am) I avoid these very big pronouncement type goals arbitrarily tagged on to a certain day or time of year. Why? Because everybody is doing it of course, which kind of means I can’t/won’t.

    Anyway. I’ve found that as often as I have “chosen” a word to embody some year’s worth of work to be done, the work usually chooses me and the word that would encompass that work? It is more typically revealed, shining (or glaring), after-the-fact. So rather than be tripped up by proclaiming something only to discover something else was indeed going on, I am simply going to proclaim, and then try to BE, open.

    Oh. Sorry. OPEN. It does seem to deserve all caps….

    (Hoping you and Mr. Darcy have loads of good fun along the way with your number one goal for the year.)

  6. I love reading other people’s lists, but I never make any of my own. I know I won’t stick to them and then I’ll feel I’ve very much disappointed myself.

    You’ll have to let me know how the herb garden goes! I’m so good at killing plants that if I can learn how NOT to do so, that would be a major plus.

  7. Isn’t it amazing that we have a good sense of what we need even before we seriously need it? I’ve found that my own new years intentions have set very necessary tones for me as well.

    Happy new year, Sizzle! I look forward to reading about your ongoing journey of ease in 2013 :)

  8. Herb garden is a great goal – I think I’ll make that a goal too. That, and get my family’s financial situation under control. My husband and I lost control of our finances when we bought a new house and I now spend every night waking up and worrying about it. There are steps I can take to reel it all back in and 2013 is the year that all of those steps will happen. And 2014 will be the year we have no debt but our mortgage. There. I’ve said it. Now I just have to do it.

    And good luck with getting knocked up! I am so hopeful for you and Mr. Darcy!

  9. That is a great list. I especially liked more joyful togetherness.

    Sending you good love to see that all these happen this year.

  10. wait a minute, I keep rereading looking for visit colorado on that list… (joking). You were 100% an overachiever this year, here’s to a fabulous 2013.

  11. This is great. I think you totally deserve an “ease” type of year after this past year and all the excitement that it brought.

    I can’t wait to see what awaits you (and everyone) this next year! :)

  12. My intention for 2013 is presence…to be more present in the moment, mainly for Linden but also for me and for Kev. And I’d also like to stop planning our next move/adventure and just BE. I’ve really missed feeling a sense of home and the feeling of being settled!

    And I *want* to wish you calm, but seeing as pregnancy and having a baby are not necessarily calm things…I wish you calm before the (awesome) storm! Sending you all the fertile vibes I’ve got! Lord knows I don’t need them right now :)

    Happy 2013 Sizzle!

  13. I really l like how you have a set of intangible goals. I should think about some for my own.

    And, may 2013 be the year of the BABY! for you!

  14. I’ve loved following your journey in this space over the years. You really have come a long way, baby! And if getting preggers is your #1 goal, then EASE is the perfect focus for this year … because making babies can be tough work and the more at ease you are with your life, the less stressed your body is and the more receptive it is to becoming a baby making machine (or so this very un-medically inclined gal likes to think!).

  15. I don’t believe you’re going to be 40. You don’t look it at all!

    Such a great way to look at what we want to accomplish in a given year! Right now my goals are getting healthy – mentally & physically. I’ve neglected myself for the past 4 years and its time to get back to me.

    I agree with Nilsa on the “ease” in your life. Mucho important when trying for wee ones.

  16. I love this, thank you for sharing. What great thoughts and goals you have my dear. I love the Doe Bay & weekend at the Ocean Goals. My two main goals are to take daily 30 minute walks, EVERYDAY! And to paint 52 paintings (one per week). So far I am three walks in and almost done with my 1st painting. I would also like to take an Analog Adventure where I completely unplug, no phone, no laptop, no tv. So, what do you think is this weekend a good time to see some WEDDING PHOTOS!?!!?! Because they are almost ready for you! I am so excited to share :) xoxoxox

  17. The best of luck to you. May I suggest a book to help with that #1 goal? “Making Babies” by Sami David and Jill Blakeway. I swear that following many different recommendations in this book is what helped us finally have our beautiful boy this year.

  18. I always enjoy your New Year’s posts. Ease is an awesome intention. I kind of want to steal it! :) I was just thinking today that Balance needs to be my 2013 goal. I seem to be good at balancing a million obligations lately, but not keeping my own inner balance in the mix. Hooray for new intentions.

  19. So many accomplishments in 2012 and all the ups and downs, but you made it so gracefully through all of it! I just have to echo Nilsa on the EASE and pregnancy connection. We`ve tried a year and I thought I would be cool and relaxed about it, but now realize that all the stress of “i need to become pregnant” might actually making my body not perform. So EASE is such a wonderful goal!!

  20. I think that is a great intention for you for this year. It is often the things we don’t think come naturally to us that, when given the chance, we can “reprogram” in our brains to actually become habit. You know, neuropathways and whatnot. :) I don’t have one intention for this year, but I am making a vision board for the first time with lots of prodding (encouragement?) from a couple friends and I am actually excited about it, in spite of everything. So, here’s to looking forward. With ease. :)
    xo

  21. I wanted the same last year: a nice, calm, normal year so we could all recharge and just enjoy each other… I got really, really bored by the end of the year haha typical me! This year I want excitement – the good kind not the bad kind ;)

    I wanted to wish you good luck with this year. I’ve read your blog for years and I remember you always said, like me, you’d like to adopt one day. And then suddenly the ability to biologically have the child of the man you love is nearly taken away from you and you realise why people have babies (the ones who try anyway ;D). Although completely different circumstances to yours, I can totally sympathise with what you went through/are going through with the trying to get pregnant. I hope you have your little miracle. My boy is the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me. All the more because we thought he’d never be :)

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