Comments for Sizzle Says

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Mel

Mel — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:01:30 +0000

We’ve had very similar childhoods and we’ve talked about that a tiny bit in the past. I don’t know how our mothers survived their marriages – and their endings. I know that each day she got up it was by simply deciding to get up – not to survive a whole tragic situation. It was one step at a time – just like it was for us. People will comment about how much courage you had to survive, but as we both know it never once felt like courage. It felt like getting up, eating your Cherrios and going to class. Nothing stopped because home was a giant downward spiral. You and Mom and Dokey each did what you could as you could.

And now… and now there is fear and worry. Now there is – at times – terror where there should simply be love. It will be there until you (and me and other survivors) make the choice to just walk away from it. We call it baggage for a reason, because you have to choose to pick it up and carry it every single day. And laying it down is impossibly hard because after a while all that fear, terror, and worry becomes a comfort simply because it is what you know.

After a while the why doesn’t even matter – what matters is that you let it go.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by willikat

willikat — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:33:31 +0000

So many beautiful, haunting things about this post.

I’m sorry that he stopped choosing life. i’m sorry that you all suffer as a result.

And I believe you WILL get past this, on your own time, on your own terms.

Thank you for continuing to share your journey with the world.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by justrun

justrun — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:26:28 +0000

I want to hug you, for your experience of course, but also for your bravery as posting this and expressing it is all part of the process for you. And that process will lead you to that peace, I have no doubt. Peace will come both to you and through you, and you will not mistake it for just okay, because those are two very different things.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Nat

Nat — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:16:47 +0000

I am sitting here having a good cry over this. The Man is a recovering alcoholic. He is also a loving father, friend, community leader, lover, et tout ça… he is more than his disease. He was when he was drinking too…

I know that when he was drinking, I’d cling to those moments of sobriety… You cling to the hope that one day he would see what he was doing to himself and get help… that he would reach out… he did. And I had nothing to do with it… because it’s not something I could do… that’s the hard part. There is absolutely no way I can fix this. Just like there was no way you or your mom could… and by the same token, this was not your fault either.

I always figured I should have gone… took me a long time to forgive myself for staying. Things are really good now.

Your mom would also remember all the good times. The love. The joy. And it’s damn harder to leave than it seems. He was more than his disease… he was the man she loved, who had an addiction to alcohol… … and she wouldn’t give up on that.

As for you, well, I expect you’ve seen enough, done enough to make your own choices for whatever reason…

Hugs.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Bully

Bully — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:04:20 +0000

You guys, these comments are AWESOME. (and now I think that *I* am triggered! LOL) What a wonderful outpouring though, and for some it is a gift for those who find them too.

Sandra, what you said about ‘children holding onto everything, because that’s how we survive’? Holy Sh*t. That is so true. Your words hit the bullseye, hon. Honestly, I don;t know that we can ever UN-learn that response, but we have to learn to let stuff go, and some better coping skills. yeah. I’m still working on that. Having emotion and feeling makes a person complicated, but maybe, that’s a good thing.:-)

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Aimee Greeblemonkey

Aimee Greeblemonkey — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:01:29 +0000

xoxox.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Ashleigh

Ashleigh — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:48:45 +0000

I think your still focusing on trying to change something that you can’t change. Trying to fix a past problem. Perhaps you just need to realize that you can’t change the past. You can only learn from it, grow it and try not to make the same mistake twice. Try not to let it define you.

You are trying to understand something that has no good answer. You will never be able to get inside another person’s head to really understand why they do the things they do or did. I think you need to find a way to ‘accept’ what has happened and come to terms with it.

wish I could say more to help.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Meghan

Meghan — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:21:34 +0000

Love takes many different forms.
If you don’t want to love like that — you won’t.
Believe it.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by Angella

Angella — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:32:13 +0000

Oh, wow, sweetie. Wow.

Love and hugs to you.

Comment on Outrun Sorrow by gibsondog

gibsondog — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:06:48 +0000

You are a strong STRONG woman. Its never easy to put what you just said into words. But, then you breathe.