I sent out an email to the office yesterday asking if anyone was planning on coming in costume. I got back a smattering of responses, most of them were like “Let me know if anyone else is and maybe I will” or “I was going to put some horns on my head.” Totally sub-par if you ask me. Where’s the festiveness? Am I the only one who gets her rocks off dressing up in costume?
I was walking to the mail room when I crossed paths with Her. You remember her? She finds me overly amusing and seems to lack social skills. She says to me, “So, Sizzle, you’re going to wear a costume tomorrow?” I reply with my customary enthusiasm, “Yes! Are you?” She says, “No!” all taken aback like that’s the strangest thing anyone has asked. I retort, “Well why not?” She feebly replies, “I don’t have a costume.” She has a nervous laugh. She laughs this laugh a lot.
It was then that I did the thing I can’t believe I did. I said to her, “Why don’t you cut out a big “L” and tape it to your forehead. That could be your costume!” All the while I was making the “L” shape out of my hand and raising my hand to my forehead. She laughed again in that way she has and said some great comeback like, “Oh thanks! Yeah, right!”
I have no idea where that came from. . . I’m not normally THAT direct and tactless. I was joking and only meaning to rib her about not wearing a costume but still, it was a pretty cruel thing to say to a girl who clearly has social awkwardness and desperately needs a make over.
Last night after work while I was knocking a few beers back with some co-workers, they all ganged up on me. “You should take her under your wing!” and “You need a project- help her!” It’s not really because they want her to better herself. That’s maybe 40% of it (we are bleeding hearts so the quest to help others is ingrained in us). The other 60% is purely selfish. She’s just…lacking in social graces but appears to desperately want to fit in. She’s one of those girls who tries too hard. And her clothes try to be fashionable but are often too baggy or ill-fitting. Her hair is in need of a Whoorl make over. She tries but she just misses the mark.
I feel for her. I really do. Not that you could gleam that from the whole “L for Loser” costume suggestion.
Good thing I was already planning on going to hell. This just seals that fate.
“And stranger than your sympathy/And all these thoughts you stole from me/And I’m not sure where I belong/And no where’s home and no more wrong/And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was/And I wouldn’t be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted/And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me . . “ -Sympathy, Goo Goo Dolls