I think I am ready to face today.
The weekend was what I needed. Lots of sleep. Spending time with the fella. Laughter. Hanging out with friends. A little retail therapy. Being reminded that I am cared for. Remembering, again, that even when things appear to be falling apart people are there invisibly holding me up.
Here’s a list of things that were going wrong/stressing me out to the point of mini-meltdown:
- still figuring out finances due to pay schedule change
- having to get an advance to cover bills
- car needing a tune up
- speeding ticket
- my cell service getting suspended for an overdue balance
- not getting nearly enough sleep
- saying no to doing activities because of low fundage
- not working out for months
- gaining weight
- fighting with breakouts on face
- still hoping for balance with birth control & hormones
- working too much under too many deadlines
- stupidly eating sugar out of old self-sabotaging patterns
- friends in crisis
- heartbroken friend
- friend with serious health concerns
- more worry
- the holidays fast approaching
- not feeling “together” enough to meet some of the fella’s friends and canceling last minute and then feeling like an asshole for not being more together
Is that it? I think that’s a comprehensive list of all the things that were swirling around my head when I finally cracked Friday as I drove home from work. After a good cry, supportive friends listening to me and my verbal diarrhea and a long soak in a hot tub, I felt a bit more like myself but incredibly worn out.
Then the weekend came and reminded me that:
- I have to get sleep. More than 8 hours is preferable.
- Sugar = No!
- Working out is good stress release and should be done frequently.
- Getting flowers at work never gets old.
- People come through for you.
- Pizza and beer is a delicious combo.
- Being loved is humbling and wonderful.
- Laughter and silliness are good ways to start the day.
- A man does exist who will make me feel important and cared for and supported. And he might tell me that I don’t have to be strong all the time because he’s there. And I’ll want to believe him.
- My nephew never ceases to amuse me.
- A little retail therapy with my sugar mama is good times indeed.
- The money stuff will work itself out. Plans are being put into action.
- I can’t forget to put myself first because everything else goes to shit when I do.
Here’s to hoping this week is better than last week.
“I got troubles oh, but not today/’Cause they’re gonna wash away/They’re gonna wash away/And I have sins Lord, but not today/’Cause they’re gonna wash away/They’re gonna wash away. . .” -Wash Away, Joe Purdy