I flipped my calendar to December this morning and this is what I found:
Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.
-Christian D. Larson
I like that quote a lot.
Yesterday was a very rough day of highs and lows. Operating on 4 hours of sleep, on my feet working for hours, still way too sick to even be at work and yet working more than usual, some emotional crap nagging at my psyche, blah, blah, blah. . . I started to cry around 3pm when I got really, really good news and then it quickly turned into a sad cryfest which didn’t really finish until 9:30pm. I mean, I was full on bawling. My eyes are pink puff balls today to prove it. I was in the shower crying my eyes out trying to remember how to wash my hair. I think I was just overly exhausted and all the other crap just cracked me open.
Needless to say, I am spent today. Even though I managed to get a good night’s rest, today is going to be a very mellow self-care day. I have not been taking care of myself and that ends now. I can’t be falling apart like that. I can’t let myself get so utterly fatigued I am a weeping mess. And I am really, really, really tired of blowing my nose!
“Well I’m guilty, yeah I’m guilty,/I’ll be guilty for the rest of my life/How come I never do, what I’m supposed to do/How come nothing that I try to do ever turns out right/Well you know how it is with me baby,/you know I just can’t stand myself/It takes a whole lot of medicine,/for me to pretend to be somebody else . . .” -Guilty, Bonnie Raitt