It’s rare but it occurs.
The friend who, out of her own unhappiness, makes snarky asides regarding your new coupledom. Like somehow you having found love is some personal affront to her. Like you having someone means your life is easier somehow. You’re apparently standing on the green grass while she is stuck on the brown dirt with weeds.
Suddenly, because you’re dating someone, your life is now perfect.
Really? Because. . . please. That’s a load of crap.
It’s hurtful. I don’t care if you try to mask your resentment, disappointment, anger, sadness, whathaveyou by making it “seem” like a joke. It’s not funny. When you try to back track and tell me that you, of course, want my happiness- I don’t believe you. No, you don’t. You are so unhappy you don’t truly want anyone else to be happy either.
And that makes me very sad for you. And actually, sad for me. Because you’re not really being a friend to me if you can’t support me in good times and bad. I’m trying to be sympathetic to your struggle but damn it, I don’t think I’ve ever stooped to making snide comments when someone I called friend was happy in a relationship and I was not. And for the record, until I met The Fella? It’d been three years since I’d been in a committed relationship with someone. Four years since I’d dated someone exclusively who also lived in the same city as me.
Why do I feel the need to justify myself? You’re the one who is being mean. It seems every chance you get you take a stab at it. If I mention in passing a sweet thing The Fella did, STAB. If I make some reference to sex, STAB. If I talk about plans I might have, STAB. Really, anything will do.
Frankly, I am fed up. I don’t want to nor should I have to justify my relationship or my happiness. I’ve worked hard to get to this place. The Fella and I work diligently at our relationship. We’re not feeding each other strawberries and sipping champagne every freaking day. We work at making it work because we want to be together.
I remember being single. It can be lonely. But there are also a lot of great things about it. Maybe embracing those might help you? Maybe trying to find your own happiness instead of fixating on mine would change things for you? Please, just do something.
Stop raining on my parade.
“Don’t tell me not to live,/Just sit and putter,/Life’s candy and the suns/A ball of butter./Don’t bring around a cloud/To rain on my parade./Don’t tell me not to fly–/I’ve simply got to./If someone takes a spill,/It’s me and not you./Who told you you’re allowed/To rain on my parade!. . .” –Don’t Rain on My Parade, Barbra Streisand