Some days I find it easier to occupy space in the world. Usually this has everything to do with my attitude but some days the credit goes to something I am wearing. It could be a shiny new pair of kitten heeled shoes, or a pair of dark wash jeans that fit just right, a snazzy jacket with the perfect cut for my body or, like yesterday, ruby red lipstick.
There’s something about red lips that make me feel saucy. Like a vixen. Like all I’d have to do is smile with my ruby red lips and anything is possible. Of course, I am completely off my rocker thinking that but who cares? As long as the sexiness I feel from applying that lipstick permeates my attitude, I’m golden. Because sex appeal has way more to do with attitude than it does with actual looks.
That reminds me of The Four C’s. I’ve posted them before– long-time readers will remember them. Clarity. Confidence. Color. Cleavage. Let’s review, shall we?
Clarity: You must first be clear with yourself about your intent. Are you looking to shag or to find a meaningfully deep emotional connection? Do you have certain absolutes that would rule a potential suitor out of the game? Think these things through now, not after you are weeks into a relationship. Clarity counts for a lot in the pursuit of love.
Confidence: The motto being- “Fake it ’til you make it.” If you don’t have confidence, act as though you do. It will keep you on the right path. Begin by being positive. Believe you are worthy. Exude it. None of this coy crap. Love who you are and share it with your suitor. Find the balance between bragging and sharing your strengths. Confidence is sexy.
Color: Too many girls fall victim to the “black is slimming” mentality. Maybe that illusion works on some but do you really want to blend into the night? Do you really want to look like the last three girls he dated? No! Wear some color damn it. Red. Purple. Turquoise. Don’t be afraid to be seen. Express your unique self.
Cleavage: If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Just don’t let it all hang out so there is nothing left for the boy’s imagination. If you are less endowed, no worries. Two words: Wonder. Bra. If you don’t feel comfortable with baring your rack, work another asset. Like your legs? Great! Wear a skirt. Love your arms? Great! Sleeveless tops are your new best friend. Whatever you do, embrace the body you are in and play up your winning attributes. No man likes to hear a girl go on and on about how fat and/or ugly she is. Remember confidence? Work it.
As I’ve posted before, I originally came up with these to help a friend who was newly crushing on a guy (who also happened to be a friend of mine). She’d only been in one (long term, unhealthy) relationship before that and was feeling rather clueless about how to proceed. After we worked her through The Four C’s, she and that guy started dating. Then they moved into together. They’ve now been married for over a year.
While I am not responsible for them falling in love and getting married, I’d like to think that The Four C’s played a role in helping her gain the confidence she needed to pursue him and believe in herself.
Believing in ourselves. It’s the simplest idea and yet the hardest to put into practice.
Tell me, what’s the asset you flaunt?
“And I might let you off easy/Yeah I might lead you on/I might wait for you to look for me/And then I might be gone/There’s where I come from and/Where I’m going/And I am lost in between/I might go up to that phone booth/And leave a veiled invitation/On your machine . . .” -Shy, Ani Di Franco