Shine On

I wanted to participate in Snackie’s Self-Love Day but also wanted to talk about The Fella because it’s the first time in a long time that I have a significant beau to shower with public affection. Then I realized it doesn’t have to be either/or because me loving The Fella is also about me loving me.

You know how when you find someone truly wonderful and right for you, you are able to see yourself differently? Or maybe it’s that you can finally embrace all the parts of you- the good and the bad, the faults and the talents- and, in a way, fall in love with yourself through their eyes. They help you be true to you. Their love reflects back onto you and yousmilers just. . . shine.

Being with The Fella is like this.

The longer I am with him, the more I realize that my baggage, while mismatched and definitely exceeding carry on status, is not the end of the world. Because, amazingly, he wants to help me carry it and even (gasp!) help me unpack it. That’s one of the many things that tell me he’s a keeper. He sees the real me (when I let him, granted I have moments of being guarded) and he keeps looking me back straight in the eye. He is unwavering in his affection for me. Whether I’m falling apart crying or in a PMS rage or making a fool of myself dancing around, he’s there next to me, accepting me. He’s honest even when it is difficult to be. He tries. And in that trying? Proves again and again that he chooses me.

I love him for many reasons both big and small and nestled among those is how he makes me feel about me. We are two imperfect people loving each other imperfectly but with all the gustosld08 we can muster. And that? That just what I’ve always wanted.

So this year, in the spirit of Snackie’s Self-Love Day, I’m loving myself for being a risk-taker. Taking the risk to be vulnerable is what brought me to The Fella.

(Here’s the part where you are supposed to tell me one thing you “love” about me. No pressure! Happy Valentine’s Day, friends.)

“If you were falling, then I would catch you./You need a light, I’d find a match./Cuz I love the way you say good morning./And you take me the way I am./If you are chilly, here take my sweater./Your head is aching, I’ll make it better./Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way I am./I’d buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair./Sew on patches to all you tear./Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise./And you take me the way I am./You take me the way I am./You take me the way I am.”Take Me the Way I Am, Ingrid Michaelson


57 thoughts on “Shine On

  1. I’m so glad that you found someone who allows you to shine and that you are happy.

    Oddly enough, what I love about you is that I think you shine anyway. Whenever we hang out, you are radiant, warm and light up a room with kindness. I like that.

  2. I heart you because you are incredibly honest, introspective without being a hermit and an incredibly caring, hilarious, fabulous girl. (oops — that’s more than one thing)

  3. So glad to read you’re so content, inside and out. Lots of good things flowing your way, I’m very happy for you! Keep up all the positive thinking! Have a lovely V-Day with your sweetie.

  4. I love you because you have such a big heart. You’ve been damaged and yes, you carry baggage, but you keep throwing yourself out there day after day and letting us into your world and letting it all hang out for us to see who you are.

    Have I told you how happy I am for you that you’ve found someone who is GOOD ENOUGH for you? yeah… I think he knows he’s got a lot on the line, too, knowing we’re all out here watching to make sure he doesn’t mess up. I think he’s terrific. Keep up the good work, “Fella”… she’s worth it.

  5. What I love about you? That you write stuff like this: Or maybe it’s that you can finally embrace all the parts of you- the good and the bad, the faults and the talents- and, in a way, fall in love with yourself through their eyes.

    (Will. Not. Tear. Up. At. Work. Will…. not…)

  6. The thing I love about you is that you show that being vulnerable sometimes and looking at your own imperfections and sharing is what can truly make special and perfect!

  7. oh i was going to mention the facial hair too! does that take a lot of time to manage? we’re all a bit obsessed with that style of facial hair in my house πŸ™‚

    i love that you post often so i always have good stuff to read πŸ™‚ (lame i know but i don’t know what else to write cos i don’t feel i know you well enough )

  8. I love how you wove your topics together – quite fitting!

    I love your honesty … with yourself. I think it takes a lot to admit the things you have, to work on them and to constantly become a better person. We all have baggage, but it’s how we carry it and unload it that matters. And you most definitely shine!

  9. Wowie wow wow! That is so sweet, Sizz. I am very happy that you get to enjoy this Valentine’s Day with someone so special. And I get how finding that person suddenly makes you want to celebrate. πŸ™‚
    I love your great big heart and how totally in touch with yourself you are.

  10. That’s one of my most favoritest songs in the world! Glad you have such a fantastic sweety, and hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!


  11. Sounds like you’re having a very happy Valentines Day. There are two things I love about you (from what I know through your writing), one of which seems at odds with your post. I love your spunkiness and your independence. Both qualities I wish I had more of, and totally respect in others.

    Hope you’re having a great day!

  12. what a great pic – it shows what a great and loving couple you are together… finding someone that loves you for good AND bad is such a wonderful thing, i wouldn’t have it any other way… :o)

    i love your sense of humor and honesty – it’s so refreshing these days… :o)

    have a great valentine’s day!

  13. Good title. *hugs*
    Besides your smile, which I think God gave to us humankind to warm our weary way, your wonderful attribute is your vulnerability. I think that you are finding your strength lying amidst that which you didn’t think was any good, and in that surprise is my happiness. You are growing more beautiful, every day.

  14. Such a beautiful post. Funnily enough, that’s the exact same song I’ve been listening to loop all day. I love that you have balls enough to confront someone when you think he’s being passive-aggressive. I do that myself. (I’m not passive-aggressive. I’m just aggressive, period.) Like I said, I think you’re all sorts of awesome. Happy Valentine’s!

  15. I love that you are always willing to share your mistakes as well as your triumphs. You are a good friend who is always there when someone needs you. Plus you are beautiful! I told you before that you look a lot like my daughter except she has lighter hair, so you know I must mean it when I say you are beautiful because my kids are the most beautiful people I have ever met.

    Reading your post made me so happy! I love that you found someone who allows you to be yourself and be loved and happy. Hooray!

  16. I love how you always find the most interesting quotes. I love that you share some really interesting posts in Reader as well — especially the stuff on body image.

  17. What an awesome post. I love that you are so honest in all ways. And I love that you’ve found someone to love who helps you to see all the wonderful things about you.

  18. What a great post. I’m going to send the link to a friend who will appreciate what you’ve written.

    What I love about you is your SMILE. Among other things, of course, but that was the first thing that came to mind.

  19. I’m so glad that you have found someone you can love in that way, so that your own love for yourself is intertwined. That is the best and truest kind.

  20. Awwww!!! Gah- can I please stop with the tears!

    I love that you write about the things that show that you are (we all are) human – good/bad, mistakes/perfection, love/hate – it’s all there.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  21. I hate the way you make me feel about my neurosis. You should just drop dead because nobody loves you.

    Oh shit…today isn’t opposite day…nevermind! Uhhhh…I, like, mean the opposite of course!

    Hope you and the fella have a great romantic evening.

  22. I love this.

    And I agree with you 101% on the way you describe baggage and love. I’ve come to a point where meeting someone without baggage, is baggage! So it’s become a task of finding someone whose baggage isn’t too heavy to help shoulder, and vice versa. xoxo

  23. That was beautifully done! Congrats on everything you have to celebrate on this day of lovin’.

    Now, in your honor, I am going to go eat cheese. Grilled cheese sounds nice, but alas, I cannot make grilled cheese at work. Well, not without getting fired. Enjoy your day!!!

  24. This is my first time here and I have to say that even if the entire post sucked (which it *didn’t*), I’d keep coming back for this line:

    “I realize that my baggage, while mismatched and definitely exceeding carry on status, is not the end of the world.”

    Perfect. Happy Valentine’s Day (to you and your fella!)

  25. Oh, and I love that you always comment on my blog…it makes me feel happy to know that you’re reading!

  26. “We are two imperfect people loving each other imperfectly but with all the gusto we can muster. And that? That just what I’ve always wanted.”

    Me too. I’m so happy we’ve both found it.

    I love how thoughtful and thought-provoking your posts are. In the few years I’ve been reading, you’ve really grown and blossomed. It’s been lovely to witness your progression toward fulfillment.

  27. I love this post about you and the fella πŸ™‚
    And I’m going to do better than one thing I love about Sizzle: your wit, your humour, your unwavering honesty, your strength and your fearlessness to be open and honest both with you and us.
    Happy V Day Sizzle!!

  28. Her honesty and sincerity are just a couple of reasons why the world loves the Sizzle.

    And I don’t personally know The Fella, but beyond what you tell us, the world loves him for his ability to grow amazingly awesome facial hair.

  29. “I love him for many reasons both big and small and nestled among those is how he makes me feel about me. We are two imperfect people loving each other imperfectly but with all the gusto we can muster. And that? That just what I’ve always wanted.”

    This may be the nerdiest thing to say in the world, but f*** it; Philip K. Dick writes books about beautifully imperfect people that are masked under the illusion of science fiction. Your loving comment about your new beau reminded me of those books I grew up on and loved. It may be kinda dorky for me to admit, but it still resounds the same; your writing reminded me of someone else’s beautiful writing. It’s no wonder you have so many comments!

    I am so sorry to have missed so much while not reading your weblog, which I regret because you have found what you wanted, and I missed it! Oh well, I am catching up now and happy to find you so happy. You’re a sweet writer, and what you represent makes me hopeful.

    P.S. If you are interested in Philip’s writing about imperfect perfect people, try reading “Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said”, or an old favorite, “Confessions of a Crap Artist”. Just a suggestion.

  30. I’m so late – it’s Friday here already so Happy Belated V-Day Sizzle!
    What I admire about you the most is that, despite everything, you took a leap of faith. I want to be just like you when I grow up ;o)
    Oh and I love that red lipstick, but you already knew that!

  31. That was sweet! I like you because I find that I can relate to your writings, which means I think you kick ass!
    AND… I just want to say … “OH, you looks so beautifully happy with your sweetie!” Aww, it feels good to be in love…

  32. Talk about late to the party . . .

    I admire (and love) how UNVARNISHED you are. Some have said honest — but that’s only part of it. There’s no gloss, no fluff. It’s not like being real. I’m sick of posers claiming to be real. You are true. Authentic. Unvarnished. And we, your readers, enjoy the splendor that is sizzle.

    Mayberry Magpie

  33. This is so sweet! Enjoy that fella, you deserve him and all the joy he brings you!

    What I like most about you (and given, I don’t know you in person, only through the blog, so I’m sure there’s a lot more to like and love) is your kindness toward others, your altruistically giving nature. You rock Sizz!

  34. Awwww, that’s so sweet and I’m so glad you found each other:) As far baggage, I think everyone carries some around; it just comes in different sizes and colors.

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