Yesterday was not a good day. I’m burning myself out. I’m “on” too much of the time- at work then at home because home is now work- and I’m just exhausted. I’m so tired my brain can’t tell me the words to basic things. “Can you hand me the thing? The thing there sitting on the other thing.” Their response: “Whatareyoutalkingabout?” Me, trying again, “It’s round and has a hole in the middle near the desk.” Them: “A donut? Oh this cd! Here.”
Last night I fell asleep at 9:30pm and slept until 6:30am. I could sleep more but those 9 hours was a start. At least this morning I don’t feel like hurting anyone or throwing anything. Yesterday, my tolerance for things going wrong or for mistakes or for annoyances was -5. My list of annoyances goes something like this:
- I hate my gray hair and am not yet ready to embrace the fact that, if I were to stop dying my hair, I’d have a completely gray head of hair before turning 35. Maybe after I turn 40 but not yet. I’ll fight you to the death, gray hairs! (Hair appointment scheduled for Thursday thankyouhairgods.)
- I filed my taxes in early February with a direct deposit set up for my refund. My bank rejected the deposit so the IRS had to cut and mail a paper check. I changed my address with the post office around the exact time the check was being mailed. It’s March 5th and the check has still not arrived. That’s my money to buy furniture. This is leaving me dresser-less and couch-less and very unhappy.
- Speaking of mail. . . I sent in my change of address form well in advance of my move and yet my mail? It comes sporadically and piecemeal. And there is no IRS refund check. I am very upset by this current state of affairs.
- My new birth control, while not making me mental, has stolen my libido. I want it back!
- Living out of boxes is driving me to insanity. I’d be horrible at a vagabond life. I like my things to have their place. I like my home to have order. I like knowing where to find my socks and that one shirt that doesn’t make me feel fat and where my measuring tape is and come to think of it, where are my scissors?
- Every year this fundraising event at work bugs me. We have lots of events at work but this one? This one for some reason always irritates me. Communication to me about volunteers is crap and then at the last minute I’m informed of major changes. I really, really dislike being out of the loop particularly when it affects how I do my job.
- I’ve had a nagging cough for a week. I’m not sick enough to stay home but just sick enough to feel run down and irritated by the constant tickle in my throat.
I want to be in a better mood. I’m going to try. I hate not feeling like myself.