Flushed With Uncertainty

I told The Fella last night I was going to drop it but seriously I am still so utterly confused by this recent news story out of Kansas, I can’t stop wondering WHY. I mean every time I sit on the toilet I am reminded of this woman. I’m sure you’ve heard of it by now. Apparently, this woman was stuck on her bathroom toilet for, oh, TWO YEARS. Her boyfriend would bring her water and food and ask her to come out and her reply would be, “Maybe tomorrow.”

Excuse me but wasn’t there a point (about let’s say 23 months and 3 weeks, give or take a day or five) earlier in this “situation” where the boyfriend would have considered calling the authorities. Maybe 5150-ing his girlfriend? Maybe calling in some assistance because his girlfriend is clearly not well?

There were all kinds of thoughts racing through my head when I heard about this bizarre story. They included:

  • I guess she saved a lot of money on tampons.
  • Did she have a phone in there?
  • She didn’t have to put out for two years.
  • What about birthdays and holidays? Does she have no family to speak of that wouldn’t miss her during these festive times?
  • I hope she doesn’t have children. Or pets.
  • Was there a window in the bathroom?
  • I hope they had more than one toilet in the house.
  • How does one get stuck on a toilet seat?
  • I wonder if they will break up now.
  • Will she have to have ass reconstruction surgery?
  • Did they wheel in a tv or radio to amuse her while she sat on the throne?
  • I wonder if she will be on Oprah someday.
  • Did she get a lot of reading done?
  • Sure saves a lot of money on clothes and haircuts and pedicures and make up.
  • Does this mean she never showered for TWO YEARS?
  • Or shaved?
  • I hope she brushed her teeth.
  • Did she not have a job to go to?

I sincerely hope that she gets the medical and psychological attention she needs but I also want answers. I want to understand WHY.

Maybe she had a Forrest Gump moment. Remember when he just starts running. And running and running and running and years go by and his beard gets long and hair scraggly. He just needed to run. Maybe she just decided she needed to sit for a spell and that spell turned into months which turned into years. They say some do their best thinking on the crapper. Here’s to hoping she had some sort of epiphany to make it all worthwhile.

Like, “I should have bought that heated toilet seat when I had the chance.”

*This is a WTF Friday post brought to you on Thursday because this shit can’t wait.

UPDATE: Here’s some more information that answers some questions.  

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67 thoughts on “Flushed With Uncertainty

  1. I mean this is not meant to be funny since we are talking psyhcological issues here but darn it, it IS.
    I just read the story on CNN

    **Did they wheel in a tv or radio to amuse her while she sat on the throne?**

    **guess she saved a lot of money on tampons**

    **Did she get a lot of reading done?**

    **Here’s to hoping she had some sort of epiphany to make it all worthwhile**

    bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah LOL! LOL!!!
    You are too much!

  2. I would just be happy to be left alone in my tiny toilet room long enough to pee with out wet dog noses or my hubby bothering me. Can I PLEASE have a few moments to myself?!? Do we all have to be in there together? Can’t a question wait three minutes?

    How she managed it all that time is hard to imagine. I loved all your points. I wonder- didn’t her legs go totally numb? Wouldn’t she have fallen off at some point?

  3. Yowza. This shit can’t be real.

    I just read the story this morning, and all of those questions you asked were running through my mind, too.

    Insanity.

  4. I’m with you on the WTF? factor. That boyfriend should have done something about it oh say… a week after it happened.

    So many questions… please let her go on Dr. Phil or Oprah so we can tivo it.

  5. Agh, it’s so weird! I’m with you Siz, I want answers! Totally the kind of shit (pun intended) that keeps you up at night wondering.

  6. I hadn’t heard that story yet, actually. I apparently need to get my head out of my all-things-baby-related clouds. 🙂 The story is so sad, but it really does make you think about those things, right? I would think it would get really boring in there. I can barely stand staying in my apartment for more than 24 hours without going a little stir crazy.

  7. SERIOUSLY.

    You hit all the questions that keep going through my mind…I am honestly somewhat bothered that I am obsessing about this story.

    But SERIOUSLY…WTF?

  8. I was also stupefied by this story but I have to say that you thought it out a lot more thoroughly than I did. My thought was basically like, I guess she decided she didn’t want to move for two years, and really there’s only one place you can sit for that long… And also, that she must have flushed regularly, right? Which is weird, I don’t like the idea of flushing while you’re still sitting on the toilet.

    But the tampon thing, I didn’t think of that.

  9. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it this since I read it this morning. Like, why did the boyfriend not call sooner? Why did he let her stay on the pot for TWO YEARS? I’d think that after two DAYS, max, he should have been slightly alarmed.

  10. You are asking the questions for all of us!

    I didn’t think about getting reading done but maybe that would be the way I would get through Proust.

  11. I had just read this before i got to your post. Yeah, I can’t help but wonder why HE never said anything or did anything. I mean, really? “Maybe tomorrow?”

    And it’s not like regular agraphobia (sp?) where she just wouldn’t leave the house… this was the toilet!!!!

    I laughed and shuddered at all of your questions, including hadn’t she showered or shaved for 2 years. Very, very scary.

  12. I saw the story too. And while all those things ran through my head, I think the thing that stuck with me (ha ha) most is the “maybe tomorrow” thing. But I mean that without laughing. How incredibly sad… it reminds me of some story that I can’t quite put my finger on the name of where the person wouldn’t come and be a part of the world, people kept coming and asking and the person kept saying “maybe tomorrow”… and eventually turned into a tree in the forest to be lost forever (I think it grew up and around the person.)

    That boyfriend ought to be bitch-slapped though.

  13. OMG. I hadn’t heard of this. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, seriously, wow. All your questions were spot-on. Wow. I’m just flabbergasted. Wow.

  14. And her butt cheeks, did they return to normal? Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I am now also obsessed with fully understanding this situation.
    What did she do when she ran out of toilet paper? This boyfriend is as much of a nut as she is. And I think my boyfriend is in the bathroom for long periods of time.

    Off to consult with my therapist about this.

  15. I just love the fact her arse melded to the seat and that her legs were ATROPHIED. Damn. She was kind of serious about staying there.

    I wonder if he bathed her… washed her hair. I bet she had really oily hair and nits.

    Oh well, she was in a good place if she had a raging case of diarrhea.

  16. I heard that story. And clearly glossed over it more so than you did. Until you wrote about it. Which got me thinking. This chick does live in Kansas, right? Maybe there were more interesting things going on in her bathroom than outside it. No matter what, it’s a sad state of affairs.

  17. Of all the places I’d want to stay for 2 years, the bathroom is really the last place I’d think of. I saw this story a couple of days ago and it really freaked me out. Mostly because it means there are people more fucked up than I am.

  18. oh my god, that is the most bizarre thing i’ve ever heard of. Like, could the boyfriend come in and sit on the bathtub and chat with her? or brush his teeth? or was the door closed at all times… and if it was, did she only eat flat food that could be shoved under the door??

  19. There really are no words. I asked Evan if he would bring me food though and he said yes, but after 2 days he’d make me come out or call for help. Not TWO YEARS.

  20. Hah! I remember this link passing my hands and onto coworkers within the immediate area, then later handing it off to friends as a ‘get a load of this shit!’ statement.

    Disturbing, amusing, and I believe I came up with about half of those questions at ground zero as well.

    I would’ve forced my way into the bathroom the minute this lasted more than a few hours had it been my gf.

  21. Oh. MY. GAWD. I don’t know whether to thank you for telling me about this (because goddammit, that is hilarious) or to curse you because now I, too, will not be able to stop thinking about it. I mean….what? I really love your list of questions, too.

  22. Dude, when I was at dialysis this morning, it was on the news, and I screamed and had everyone watch it.

    Is it wrong that these things fascinate me so? And am I the only one who wanted pictures?

  23. HOLY CRAP! That story just bent my mind in half. I cannot fathom it…

    “skin had grown around the seat.”

    Ewwwwwwwwww! Surely this means that not only has she not showered in two years, but she hasn’t even washed her hands?! WTF? I’m going to be screaming to myself inside of my head about this all day.

  24. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed, but to sit on a toilet for 2 years?? And have my skin grow around it?

    Do you think she was online? Maybe had a wireless connection on her laptop? Any connection at all other than her bf?

  25. Pingback: stuck to toilet seat

  26. I can’t even sort of wrap my head around this story. I’ve been trying, but.. I can’t. For every single reason/question you listed. It’s just… ah! how! why! but! but!

    Insanity.

  27. The length of time she was there is what gets me. But I have to admit that some of your questions made me laugh. You’ve put a lot more thought into it than I have!

  28. Incredible!!!! My first question was didn’t she work? And then how did she pay her bills? But I guess the boyfriend took care of that.

  29. This has to be the most bizzare thing I have ever heard.

    2 years??

    My ass muscles hurts after sitting on the toliet for 10 minutes.

    Ha. ha. ha.

    WTF is right!

  30. This is Forrest Gump meets Lethal Weapon 2 (or was it 3, when he sat on the toilet containing a bomb? They’re all pretty similar to me).

    So many ways for me to make light of this situation, so little tact…

  31. Uhhhhhhh. Ummmmmm. Let me see here. Uhhhhh. Ewwww?
    Sorry, that’s really all I can come up with. Who’s more messed up here though, the girl or the boyfriend who allowed it to continue? Wow, do I hope they had 2 bathrooms in that place!!

  32. You know, I’ll admit to not actually spending any time to get the details of this particular story. But…when I first heard it I think I had a good half if not 2/3 of the same questions you had. Plain and simply…WTF?!?

  33. I kept thinking about this last night too. I guess I feel really sad for this woman, who is clearly severely mentally ill and who apparently does not have any friends or family who care about her enough to get her out of there sooner and get her some help. Oy!

  34. I read about it this morning. I had to read it twice because I thought it was a hoax.
    While this isn’t funny – some of the things that ran thru your head made me laugh.
    I seriously hope she gets some help and a more attentive boyfriend.

  35. A co-worker told me about this. Disgusting!
    I was thinking maybe she said “Propose or I’m going to sit here on your toilet until you do!”
    And he’s got serious commitment issues.
    Also, he’s a HUGE procrastinator! Him: “You know, I really should call the authorities about my girlfriend taking up residence on my toilet. I’ll do it right after this game of Super Mario Galaxy.”
    Where do these people come from?

  36. Thanks for the link to the “answers”. Because…damn that is just wacky. (Although it would make life a little easier to just stay in the bathroom all day.)

  37. I missed this story until I read it on your blog. I want to know if she’s a blogger or not. That would be some interesting reading. Like you, I’m still shaking my head about so much of this story. I think I need to go to Snopes.com and do some research.

  38. They had the story in our australian newspapers as well. It’s so bizarre. I wondered whether that was the only toilet in the house or if they had a second one. If it was the only toilet, where was he going to the toilet?

  39. That story is INSANE. I hadn’t heard about it until now. Why didn’t she pick her bedroom? Or a Sephora? The bathroom is the last place I’d choose to hang out in for TWO DAMN YEARS.

  40. Her boyfriend must have been an “extremely” patient man……My family starts screaming that they want their turn in the bathroom when I’ve only been in there for about 3 1/2 minutes….:) Not to mention that’s all the time it takes on the toilet for my feet to go to sleep.:)
    I saw your blog on Bliss in Bloom.
    Very funny!:)

  41. Howdy Sizzle. Am back with a new blog http://wisdomofadiabetic.com

    I read about the toilet seat open sore woman last week. Then read the followup the other day online.. where the trailer trash boyfriend is finally arrested. First off, GROSS. Secondly, um, SICK. Third…. I am all about fears and that but come on, sitting on the toilie for months on end and then having your butt be glued to it by the nasty sores…. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh out loud or just go wash my hands!

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