I wish that when I woke up, I was excited to start my day. Instead, I feel dread.
Do you ever wake up and just know that you need to call into sick to work? Like even though your mind runs through all the pros and cons of taking a sick day and you have plenty of reasons to go into work (re: obligation, guilt), you just know that your mind is already made up. You aren’t going in.
Or when you are dating someone and there is just something not clicking. You try and try to make it work because on paper you two seem like the perfect couple. But somewhere inside your mind already decided you were done. There’s no reversing it. (And no, I am not talking about breaking up with The Fella. Absolutely not! This is just an example.)
See, because sometimes you can try in vain to ignore the obvious. You can give it a valiant effort to stay because you might think it is easier, it’s less work, it’s what you know. But it is never easier to ignore your gut, to not put out the effort to live your best life, or to challenge yourself forward.
It’s time for me to move on. Every fiber in my being knows it. So now the trick is trying to put on a brave face while inside freaking out about what’s next.
What would you do if you knew you would not fail?
“Take me back Josephine/To that cold and dark December/I am missing someone but I don’t know who/Now I’m standing alone and I’m trying to remember/Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you/Morning sun shine on me/Come light inside my window/And rest on my brow/Kiss my eyes when I sleep/And carry me back home/If my dreams will allow. . .” -Josephine, Brandi Carlile