As selfish as this may sound, I am monumentally looking forward to my birthday (Hello! Friday!) and a weekend filled with fun, family and friends because lordhavemercy I am tired and burnt out. The weekend was mainly spent dealing with renting the available units, still trying to get my house in order (couch purchased and put together, phew) and working (yes, on the weekend) my “regular” job. Yesterday was all about fielding calls from tenants. Here’s a list:
At 2:30pm, “our dishwasher isn’t finishing its cycle and is pooling with water”
At 6:00pm, “I’d like another key to the building to give to my trusted friend”
At 8:00pm, “someone is smoking pot, the basement floor really stinks of it and it’s coming up to my third floor apartment”
At 11:15pm, “the people above me are playing really loud music, can you do something about it?”
And today at 7:00am, “my door knob won’t turn and now I am locked out of my apartment.”
And I never got around to vacuuming because between fielding these, putting my couch together (There are two bolts I couldn’t get screwed in. I just can’t seem to screw without The Fella around.) and having worked already at my other job, I was spent. I have some nice luggage under my eyes to prove it.
I know this isn’t how life will always be. I won’t always have three units open at one time and feel like every bit of my free time is taken up returning calls, showing apartments and dealing with paperwork while still trying to find time to keep the place in tip top shape and handling the myriad of tenant issues that arise. Like how last weekend I returned home to a call about a homeless person who was found sleeping in our laundry room. The laundry room which is supposed to shut and locked at all times (automatic lock) in a building that is secure (you have to be buzzed in). Not only is that surprising, it’s a bit scary. Not because he is homeless but because people are being let in who don’t live here and don’t know a tenant in the building. Everyone goes through careful screening to be a tenant here and yet. . . we cannot control everything.
Honestly, there is very little we can control in this life sans our own attitude. I have made a promise to myself- I will be kind to myself and others, use cautious optimism, believe in the good of humankind and try my best to be lighthearted when it comes to the trival annoyances of life. Because life is too short and this world is way too lacking in compassion. I suppose I could attribute my newfound enthusiasm to the Dalai Lama who inspired me with his humble wisdom, generous spirit and infectious laugh. Seeing him speak on Saturday was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that deeply impacted me.
I want to lose my bitterness and judgments. They are heavy and ugly and don’t serve me. I want to feel less rushed and more alive in the present moment. I want to smile and mean it.