Thar She Blows

*I know my blog redesign is not yet ready and it’s all wonky to read it on this screwy template but I need to vent so fingers crossed that the majority of you can read this from a feed.

I was cleaning the laundry room when I discovered someone had taken the wipe off board marker and written a note on the white table top. Something about “thanks for the tie” and then some other nonsense. I tried using water and soap to wipe it off but it left a red stain and you could still see the words. Then I tried a bleach cleanser and a sponge but the red wouldn’t budge, just faded slightly. While The Fella was scrubbing at it, I went over to the white board and wrote:

“Hey genius who used one of these markers to write on the table- next time try using some paper.”

I find it irresponsible and annoying that someone would thoughtlessly write on the table when we all have to use that space. Worse that they used a pen that won’t come off the surface. Worsest that it wasn’t even an interesting or witty note that people wouldn’t mind seeing for years to come. I mean, who does this sort of thing?

Today I walked in to find this response:

“Frankly your anger scares me.”

Really?! Well if that scares them, they best behave because that’s really not me at my scariest. Sure, it was kind of passive aggressive and unfriendly. I was angry about it for certain. But to be scared by that? Are you kidding me with that crap?

I really don’t think it is too much to ask that people not act like idiots. Particularly in the communal space. If they want to be ignoramuses in their own apartments, have at it. But in the communal areas? I think my frustration is justified. I want the apartment building to look nice and to me, table graffiti just doesn’t scream “high class.”

I wonder if I am more bothered by the fact that someone thinks I am scary (which equates in my mind to them not liking me- people pleaser alarms are ringing) or that I was actually angry. Frankly, I don’t enjoy feeling either of those things. And it reminds me of my Craig’s List run in where that asshat who didn’t end up buying my couch said my (justifiable!) anger was frightening (even though he couldn’t spell the word correctly).

So I guess next time (because I’m not gonna kid myself- there will definitely be a next time) I have to play it safe and say something like, “Not cool to write on the table. Thanks!” With a smiley face at the end. Fuck that shit. I’m not going to kiss ass just to have people like me- especially if they are in the wrong. Possibly my ire is misplaced or I am over-reacting but whatever, my pent up emotions have to come out somehow. and honestly, lately I feel like I am on the brink of blowing my top.

Too much pressure can do that to a person.

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59 thoughts on “Thar She Blows

  1. Hey Sizzle,

    Next time, try to be all super-y and say, “This is a reminder to all residents that the table top is not a doodlepad. Please be courteous of your neighbours. Thank you, the management.”

    I think that would be clear and assertive without sounding angry. 🙂

  2. I say leave a message worthy of them thinking you have anger. Make the board smoke with anger!!

    You know what, I should stop leaving comments right after I get home from work on Mondays…

  3. Whatever! Sizzle your comment was witty (and appropriate!) and not at all scary. Don’t change a thing.

  4. I’m pretty sure your note had more composure than most would have. I think I would have just taken the pens and the board, as if I were dealing with children.

  5. jeopardygirl- Good suggestion. Now if only I could refrain from being a hothead when I am angry about having bleach-smelling hands. Duly noted!

    Aimes- Thanks for sticking up for me. 😉

    Justrun- Sometimes I feel I AM dealing with children.

  6. Dude, that was just a dig. You should A) try the Magic Eraser and B) write underneath the anger thing-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No, I’m serious. Don’t write on the table!

    That’ll teach ’em.

  7. I managed rental properties for awhile and it was really frustrating. Nearly all of the renters were total idiots. I’d like to blame it on whoever originally rented to them, but one was of my own doing- and she was the worst pathological lying-drug addict out there.

    Just be yourself and rise above them. I always try to “consider the source” when I get irritated with people. Anyone lame enough to write on a table clearly has issues. But you are the boss, so act like it!

  8. Hello! New template – it sure is shaping up around here. Quite nicely I might add – totally envious!

    I get that kind of mad/hurt when that sort of stuff happens to me too. Like the person’s response is not validating your anger and what does that do? Make you angier.

    I think your response was appropriate given the fact that you were the one knee deep in bleach.

  9. What? Is this person 5? What is scary is to be living in a place where there are people capable of destroying public property. I would have been mad as hell! You should charge this person for cleaning the table or buying a new one.

  10. I love how it says that “Thar She Blows” is related to the “That Really Blows” post. I like the new template so far.

    Chain the marker to the board so it can be removed.

  11. Under his comment I would write: “You should be frightened, my friend, you should be”. Or “Frankly, your cowardice repulses ME”. OR, no wait, I’ll stop. What am I, 12?

  12. What a wuss. The person that was frightened, not you. If that upsets them I wonder what a size (what size shoe do you wear?) up their ass would make them feel.

    BTW, this is the best comment box ever.

  13. I don’t think your comment was scary in the least. People are way too sensitive these days. In order to really get that stain out, I would check with Billy Mays, he seems to be a stain fighting-infomercial genius.

  14. I’m not quite sure what to say. You have to remain professional, yet I understand your frustration. I think jeopardygirl hit the mark.

  15. What you need are some curly fries. I know, always the problem solver. Always with food. And/or drink… hummm, better go analyze that. Perhaps with a plate of nachos.

  16. Having your tenants a little frightened of you could be a good thing. I have to go check the site out on a PC… people are making comments that make me think I am not seeing everything on my mac.

    I am excited to see the new digs. I’ve momentarily given up stalking you at Target and am now stalking your site waiting for the facelift. (I’m sorry, I’m rude. I stare.)

  17. I think your answer was fine, I just think people don’t like being called on their shit. When you do, its easier for them to react rather than say, “hey I screw up, sorry”

  18. I don’t think you sounded angry at all! Some people are a tad over sensitive huh? I thought your message was brilliant!
    Sarcasm is always the way to go in my opinion ;o)

  19. i don’t know about the template, but i like the colors of this new design.

    i mentioned you in my most recent post, and i linked to one of your past entries. i hope you don’t mind!

  20. I agree with Jen. How come we aren’t allowed to be mad anymore? Sometimes I just want to be mad, but wait! Someone’s feelings might get hurt. Don’t want that. Whatever. Here’s to getting justifiably mad and holding people accountable for what they’ve done.

  21. Justifiable anger, truly. Passive-aggressive little whiners? Also truly. You weren’t being frightening, you were totally justified in your response(s), and many people would be much, much worse!

  22. Hey, so I totally get your feelings on this. I am totally pissed off about a situation that happened here the other night (that I don’t want to write about here because it might end up involving lawyers!!!!) and my husband doesn’t get why I am mad about it (not involving him…I’ll email you if you want details, let me know)

    But seriously, who wants their place to look all graffiti-ed? Why would someone do that and then be surprised that you weren’t happy about it? I hear you on this for sure!

    And that was angry? Because I thought it was sort of sarcastic, and a clever way to avoid being all pissed off in a note.

  23. I’m pissed off even more after reading the CL story, that guy is a major idiot!!

    I didn’t see anything wrong with the note you wrote. People can be so stupid sometimes, if that was me I’d throw in words like vandalism and arrest, and let them see how really angry I can get.

  24. Your anger at total ass-hats is justified, completely. Not to mention, healthy! You don’t turn the anger inward or on anyone else that doesn’t deserve it, like the Fella. You deserve a nice pat on the back for that!

    It really irritates me to deal with idiots, but unfortunately, it happens all of the time. I used to joke that I wanted to start a worm farm so I wouldn’t have to deal with people. But I just couldn’t get past the fact that I would probably have to touch the worms at some point.

    Don’t let the bastards grind you down.

  25. Personally I think your comment was dead on, witty and to the point. Not your problem they don’t have a sense of humour.

  26. I’m sorry you’re under so much stress and for this person just to add to it isn’t much fun.

    Your response didn’t sound that frightening. It was honest and to the point. Maybe this person just scares easily?

  27. I would have done THE SAME THING. And after reading their note, would be even MORE angry.

    After saying, “Dumbass!” in regards to the idiot 🙂

  28. I don’t understand how your note was angry. Am I an idiot? You simply stated that a piece of paper would have been a better solution. It sounds like this person can’t take criticism.

    I can’t wait to see the make over.

  29. If you didn’t get that red marker off totally yet, you should definitely try the magic eraser… it will take even permanent marker off a surface.
    Good luck!

  30. didn’t sound like an angry message to me. sounds to me like the dope who wrote on the table is scared you’ll kick him/her out the apartment. which you should!

  31. At my last job of note, I had a problem with lots of people in our region feeling I was scary or mean in some way. Apparently, it was the tone that came across to them in my notes when I sent them emails about policy and procedure, or in response to something that I needed to do in order to correct a mistake they’d made.

    The problem? No matter what, I was correcting them. I was telling them they had done something wrong, and here’s what I needed to do to fix it, and how long it would take, blahblahblah.

    What became clear to me was that these people didn’t LIKE being corrected when they’d done something wrong. Although they knew they needed to take the information I gave them as a learning tool, they didn’t like my delivery, no matter HOW I put it across, because I was just an admin correcting their mistakes.

    In one case, I actually did ask a manager if she would prefer for me to end my sentences with smiley faces and exclamation points? She didn’t appreciate my sarcasm, but I didn’t appreciate her attack on me all the same.

    It wound up eating me alive, that job. So I left. I could never make people happy enough, and they couldn’t pay me enough to try.

    Your note wasn’t out of line. The person just didn’t like having their doltish behavior pointed out to them like that. Its on THEM, not you.

  32. I totally agree Sizz. I hate it when people just feck up things ON PURPOSE for everyone else. No call for it. This person is your typical POS and has no respect for anyone or anything. I would have left the note like you did. You were totally justified.

    now go make some lentils and chill. ha. ha.

    =)

  33. Honestly? In your position, I’d rather have people living in my building be scared of me than think I’m one big pushover.

    Then again, it begs the question, why is there a white-board and markers in the laundry room in the first place? Seems to me if you need to communicate with people down there, you could always write it on the white-board and take the marker home with you.

    Sigh. It’s pathetic you even have to post about it.

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