Ask And You’ll Receive?

The other day I told the Universe, It’d be really awesome if chocolate magically appeared at my desk.” A little while later, I found a lone M & M hidden behind my office phone. I ate it and it was good. I thought maybe I was onto something so I said, It’d be really awesome if some money magically appeared in my bank account, pocket, wallet or mailbox.” Because why not? I could use the cash. When I arrived home hours later, there was indeed a check in my mailbox. So then I figured, what the hell, and said, It’d be really awesome if multiple orgasms magically appeared in my vagina.”

Because, hello , it totally would.

I must have pushed my luck too far. Sadly, sometimes third time isn’t a charm.

*This post is based on actual tweets I posted on Twitter. Apologies to those who are subjected to it twice.

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59 thoughts on “Ask And You’ll Receive?

  1. LOL! I actually saw that on twitter. Made me laugh. Have an awesome weekend (and keep wishing for the multiple orgasms)!

  2. You should have started with that one. Because if you got the multiple orgasms and the check, you could have bought your own m&m’s.

    This must be “the best tweet ever.”

  3. So this is what I’m missing on Twitter? Damn it. If all tweets were this funny, I’d totally join.

    Must go do some hard-core wishing for 3 hour kid naps and for a giant novelty check to be left on my doorstep – mama needs a new pair of shoes.

  4. I’m wanting your third request of the universe too. If you figure out the magic combo, I’d be most interested.
    I hve no concrete plans this weekend…this could be a goal πŸ™‚

  5. lol….thanks for your comment on my bogger site. i’m in the process of changing over (sites that is….)

    i’ll have a long time to think and wish on my flight tonight…i think i’ll skip the chocolate and go right to the orgasms and money… πŸ™‚

  6. Hehehe.
    I’ll have to try my luck wishing this week.
    I feel like I’m missing something on twitter…I haven’t had the heart to actually sign up for one. more. internet. time sucker.
    sigh.

  7. Now I have the Meatloaf song “Two outta three ain’t bad” stuck in my head!
    I heard a hilarious joke (sort of related) on Graham Norton’s show last night…
    The definition of the perfect man is one that has a cock made of chocolate that ejaculates money!
    Sorry but that cracked me up!!
    Have a wonderful weekend, drink wine, it solves everything ;o)

  8. Chocolate and cash, how can you go wrong? I’m going to have to start talking to the Universe more often! Have a wonderful weekend, especially if you’ll be looking for m.o.’s!! :O)

  9. My man is always making your third wish come true. 13 isn’t too many is it??

    If it was the cash or chocolate I’d share with ya…but this is one thing I won’t share πŸ˜‰ Sorry!

  10. “It’d be really awesome if multiple orgasms magically appeared in my vagina.”

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I can’t stop laughing!

  11. For some reason i kept thinking of the leprechaun from lucky charms. Their magically delicious.

  12. If you have to ask for those, you are hanging out with the wrong guys.

    I know the fella sounds great from everything you’ve posted so far but come on now.

    If he isn’t doing everything humanly possible to give you those OMG multiple O’s every time you are together he needs an attitude adjustment.

    If necessary, show him how to make it happen. Take him by the hand (or anything else necessary) and teach him. If he is much of a man at all he will be forever grateful for the knowledge and you will be smiling more than ever.

    TAG

  13. Oh, I don’t know. I’ve pondered the whole multiple thing and I have come to the conclusion that with my husband and his “Manly” competitive syndrome it would turn into “How MANY orgasms can we make her have tonight because of my manly warrior wand?”

    My vagina just cannot take that kind of assault.

    So?

    I’m good.

  14. Ha. I think the universe can provide, but you want to be careful what you ask for since it can be literal. For instance, you wouldn’t multiple orgasms when you are at a work meeting or driving, would you? Hrm, or maybe I am just thinking of that magical monkey paw story.

  15. BWAAHHHH!!!
    I just snorted wine out my nose but it was soo worth the burning sensation…and waste of good wine.
    Thanks, as always, for the laugh Sizzle.

  16. Well if you’ve made Twitter this much fun, I should spend more time there!!!!!! And now you’ve given me an idea of how to really spice up my little twitterings, or whatever they are called. πŸ˜‰

  17. I’d take some MO’s. Hell, I’d even take a lone O.

    I am wary of Twitter. I keep getting asked to join but I am just not that interesting…

  18. You should have figured that multiple orgasms were a bit much to wish for when you asked for chocolate and got a only a lone M&M.

    Hilarious, nonetheless.

  19. mmm. chocolate and money are pretty good. But don’t hate me – it seems I was on the receiving end of your last wish last night…

  20. I dinna know ye had the twitta!

    (that was me being Scottish, duh.)

    I found you though, because I am a super sleuth. Seriously, I impress myself majorly.

    And now I’m asking the universe to have my follow request approved….

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