The other day I told the Universe, “It’d be really awesome if chocolate magically appeared at my desk.” A little while later, I found a lone M & M hidden behind my office phone. I ate it and it was good. I thought maybe I was onto something so I said, “It’d be really awesome if some money magically appeared in my bank account, pocket, wallet or mailbox.” Because why not? I could use the cash. When I arrived home hours later, there was indeed a check in my mailbox. So then I figured, what the hell, and said, “It’d be really awesome if multiple orgasms magically appeared in my vagina.”
Because, hello , it totally would.
I must have pushed my luck too far. Sadly, sometimes third time isn’t a charm.
*This post is based on actual tweets I posted on Twitter. Apologies to those who are subjected to it twice.