Why Are My Pants On Inside Out?

I forgot to tell you guys about being woken up last Thursday in the middle of the night. I told Kaply though. Here’s our conversations about it:

Sizzle: Last night I woke up at 2am because of noisy tenant and I was so PISSED I put on sweats and knocked on the door because I could hear her and her friend from the other end of the hall! And you know what?

Kaply: What? WHAT?

Sizzle: When I knocked and announced who I was they got quiet and DID NOT COME TO THE DOOR

Kaply: NO. You are SHITTING ME.

Sizzle: So I was like, um, I know you are in there since you are being so loud I could hear you from the other end of the hall. Please keep it down. I AM NOT SHITTING YOU AT THIS MOMENT.

Kaply: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH. Dude. You, my friend, are a PEARL BEYOND PRICE. I shit you not.

Sizzle: ha ha ha. I was so worked up I was awake for an hour. AN HOUR! Fucking whorebag.

Kaply: I would have had a hard time not taking it out on someone.

Sizzle: I am about 90% sure this is the same chick who had a very loud earlier conversation out front of the bldg where someone said and I quote: “I have killed so many of my brain cells! But I’m not going to be worried until I only have like 5 left.” I cannot make this shit up.

Kaply: This is a sign of a true moron. It’s like you live at Moron Central. SMELL THIS.


Sometimes when I have to confront tenants, I hesitate thinking, “It’ll just go away” or “Someone else will say something.” But the thing is, I am in charge here. It’s a weird feeling. No one else is going to call the repair guy to fix the dryer or clean up the cigarette butts or tell the noisy tenant at 2am to keep it down. It’s me. Only me. My fear of not being seen as “nice” is definitely being squelched in this new role. I’m nice enough about it and approachable when I talk to them about the issue(s) so hopefully I’m not making any enemies. I’ll do my job as the manager and they can do their job as the tenant and if we’re both doing our jobs there should be very few problems.


Probably not.

Oh who am I kidding?!


44 thoughts on “Why Are My Pants On Inside Out?

  1. I cannot believe that! How childish of them. Of course, I hide when the kids come to the door trying to sell me a subscription to the paper for the 500th time.

  2. Heh–maybe I should try managing a building. I definitely need to break out of my fear of not being seen as nice!

  3. You need to dress up like the Terminator, knock…i mean BANG on their doors at 2AM, on rent day. Just once! That’ll mess with their heads and thet’ll think twice before fecking with you and being too loud.

    Good no?


  4. HA! I love these tenant stories. However they make me very thankful that I do not have to deal with this shit on a daily basis. ๐Ÿ™‚ My mom once mangaged low income apartments and oh the stories…if only she could have had a blog back in the day.

  5. I probably would have had a hissy fit in the hallway. Or left a flaming bag of poo.

    You are much better at this that I would ever be ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. This post makes me very happy that we have exterior entrances in our building, so we don’t share a hallway with our neighbors. Of course the trick will be remembering to appreciate that next time our upstairs neighbors have a screaming/stomping fight in the stairwell. Ah, the joys of living in close proximity to others!

    Also, I can’t decide which part of your story I like best: “I am not shitting you at this moment” or you referring to her as a whorebag. (Which, by the way, is going to be my insult of choice when people irritate me today. Hopefully I will remember not to say it out loud too often.)

  7. Why do people have to be so loud anyway? Why would they want others hearing them argue about personal stuff? I just don’t get that sometimes. I’m always so self-conscious of my neighbors hearing me or me bothering them.

  8. There’s nothing that grates me more than grown-ups being very disrespectful in community living situations. Back when I was an RA in college, it was all fun and games to tell the freshmen to hide their liquid courage in something other than a beer can. But, these days? I don’t know if I’d have the tolerance to do it. I give you loads of credit!

  9. Oh man…that conversation is hilarious. Whorebag! I love it! You have to tell us what happens when you see these people again.

  10. Can you threaten to have them evicted for disturbing the peace? at the very least call the cops for this? this is what I would start doing during the 2am noise-fests.

  11. DOOOO! Conversations like that crack me the heck up! GAHHHH! … but in all seriousness… you really should write the Sizzle Show. I would definately tune you in every Monday night to watch!

  12. Unfortunately, I think most people will be asshats until they’re called out. Some probably don’t realize how bad they are, but others are just the type that want to push the line as far as they can until someone says something.

    Sorry we missed you on Saturday. I wound up napping and then still felt weird so I think we were asleep by 10 p.m. on both Fri/Sat.

  13. Did you ever see Amelie? When she goes into that guy’s apartment and switches his shoe size and changes his pre-programmed phone numbers and rewires his light switches? I think you should start doing that sort of thing.

  14. I wish I had a better view of people, but I don’t. I think they will count on your niceness to continue to engage in fucktard behavior until you call them out. So, go on with your bad self, girl!

  15. That “shit” exchange cracked me up as I was trying to keep up ๐Ÿ˜‰ “You’re shitting me”. “I’m not shitting you”. “I shit you not”

  16. I can’t believe she refused to open the door! I sure don’t envy you in this role. I think you should collect all the stories and publish a book. Then this can just be viewed as “research.”

  17. From my apt years – this is a whole the nicer you as a tenant are – the nicer the super is.

    The fact they wouldn’t open the door and apologize to your face….not nice tenant.

    I fell a book Sizzle…..

  18. You can’t make this shit up! Your tenants sound like a bunch of complete douchebags. Unfortunately they also make for great stories.

  19. I still say you are so nice that you make Mr. Furley (assuming he was the one played by my hero Don Knotts) look like a prick. Can I say that here? Is that word allowed? In my defense I am using it to pay you a compliment, which I realize is an odd way to pay someone a compliment, but it’s not like compliments are paid with money, so you really can’t return it.

    You know what, I’m stopping now.

  20. Your tenants seem rather interesting. And I must say, I have increasing respect for you with each “interesting” story you post, as there is NO WAY I could handle the job…

  21. Hahaha….they hid?? I think I did that once when I was in college (for good reasons!!) but wow. But hey, if nothing else, your job as the manager there provides endless blog material. ๐Ÿ™‚

  22. Oddly enough, this reminds me of my stint as an RA in the dorms in college. I lost my ‘I hope they like me’ worries quick fast and in a hurry. Good for you, keep pouncing.

  23. She was probably in there killing off some brain cells before you interrupted her. I can’t believe she didn’t come to the door!!! As if you wouldn’t know who she was.

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