It seems many of my tenants enjoyed smoking out this weekend judging from the ripe odors wafting into the hallways from their apartments. I’d open the front door and BAM, I’d be assaulted with doobie smell. I’d come in from taking out the trash and overhear someone coughing behind closed doors. Not “I have a cold” kind of cough but “I just took too big of a hit” kind of cough. I’ll give whomever is smoking some props- that’s some good weed they are toking. The illegal drug consumption doesn’t particularly bother me except that I know I will be hearing about it from certain tenants who feel personally affronted by smells of any kind in an apartment building. That’s a conversation I’d rather skip because I am not able to control the Universe (yet), thankyouverymuch.
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The other morning I was in the middle of getting ready for work when the buzzer rang. Who is buzzing me at 8:45am while I am still in my pjs late for work damn it? A frantic sounding tenant had apparently locked herself out so I buzzed her in and within a minute she was banging on my door. Apparently she’d lost her whole set of keys somewhere between leaving her apartment and arriving to work. I let her in to search but since her door required me to unlock it, I’m thinking they aren’t in there. You know, since she had to actually turn the lock to lock it when she left. Yeah. After trying the spare key I had for that unit, we arrived at the conclusion that she was fucked and by default, I was too.
Okay, I internally arrived at that conclusion since we had no working spare key, only a master key that I was unwilling to part with (obviously) and because she had lost her keys, she was responsible for any costs that were incurred. We left her apartment door unlocked and I scrambled to get to the locksmith before heading into work. And yes, I was late to work. Again.
After I ran around in a frenzy, the locksmith to came out, re-keyed the lock, and left copies of the keys under my door we were left with a bill that came close to $90. Of course that’s when she informed me that she had located her keys- in the cab she took to work. Awesome. Thanks for all that trouble. No. REALLY. Thanks!
Lucky for her the landlords waived the fees since we didn’t have a working spare.
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My boss (aka Mrs. Landlord) is new to using computers. How do I know this? Well her emails look like this:
Hi!!! Are the sprinklers not working?? We are worried about the grass!!!!! The rent in unit #26 should be $950! Thanks!!!
Plus, she told me she was taking a computer class. I could have figured it out though. I mean look at all those exclamation points. She’s an energetic woman but even that many exclamation points are uncalled for. I’m personally affronted by her emails.
She also insists on having things faxed to her. “Great! Can you fax that over to me? Thanks!!!!!!” Why can’t I EMAIL it? What year is this? Am I stuck in the 1990’s? I don’t want to fax it. It wastes paper and time. Besides, what would Al Gore say? He would tsk tsk at you, Mrs. Landlord. Also, I can’t figure out how to have the fax plugged into the phone line without it ringing a very piercing sound in a caller’s ear so I keep it unplugged. Which means each time I am forced to use it, I have to plug it in. I know. My life, it’s very challenging.
Oh don’t mind me. . . I’m just taking the edge off.