We recently received a slew of applications for a job we have open and amongst them was a woman who sent us two emails, neither of which included an actual resume. In both emails she alluded to a resume that was “forthcoming” if that was okay with us. Um, we have a job opening posted so yeah, we want resumes. What the fuck with the emails talking about a resume that you will send someday? If you do not know that you should send a resume in response to a job posting you saw then you are an idiot and should not be allowed to work (let alone procreate).
The best part of the emails we received were the irrelevant personal details about her life. Here’s my favorite part of the two page email:
“I’m in the process of writing a resume and will e-mail it to you post-haste. I expect you shall receive it tomorrow as I have scheduled a party for the children in my complex at 2:30 this afternoon. It is my Golden retriever’s 1st birthday, but the party is for the children; the cake will have his name on it, but presents are not allowed! It’s just cake, ice cream and milk, but it should be great fun.”
I can’t make this shit up.
I wish I could put her name on here because it goes PERFECTLY with the email.
Ever since we received it, it’s been the talk of the office. My coworker, The Ninja, has basically memorized the letter and will throw out the “It’s just cake, ice cream and milk, but it should be great fun” line at the most unexpected moments causing me to crack up.
Seriously, who writes letters like these expecting to get a job?
And do you think any kids from her complex actually came to the party?