My sister and I went to see Bon Iver on Saturday. There were two opening performers so we arrived around 9:30 even though the tickets said the show started at 8pm. The first opening act was still on stage which meant it was going to be a long night. This is how you know I am past my concert-going prime- when I dread multiple openers for a show. But I seriously don’t want to be crammed into a small, sweaty space with drunk fucktards until 1am. I did that enough in my twenties.
I have become a concert-going curmudgeon.
I would much rather go to a sit down show because at least then people are more likely to behave with some semblance of decorum. They are less likely to be smashed out of their minds or to block your view with their inane “dancing.” At the show on Saturday, we had the unfortunate opportunity to stand next to a girl and her friend who, while throwing back beers like water, managed to sing louder than the microphoned singer. Ok, we GET IT- you know all the words. And when she wasn’t singing, she was talking LOUDLY to her friend, saying things that would ensure that everyone around her would get that she “knew” the singer such as, “Oh silly Justin, he doesn’t know that people here don’t care about sports” after Justin Vernon (lead singer) asked the crowd how the Seahawks were going to do this season. Excuse me but my boyfriend would beg to differ. If he were here, he’d kick your ass for being stupid and annoying. And seriously, if you’re so tight with the lead singer, how come you are all the fuck way back here against the very back wall of the BALCONY?
It’s by choice, man. Conscious choice.
THEN she blathered on about other in-the-know tidbits at such a high volume that people in front of her were turning around to shoot her looks like “I hate you” or “Please die” or “I want to pour my drink on you but I hate to waste $4 beer.” Dokey leaned past me to say “Seriously!” and shoot them a look but they were, as people like this are wont to be, clueless. Finally, I leaned over past her friend and said directly to her, “Could you please try to not talk so much?” My request was met with an incredulous stare and I’m sure they were bitching or making fun of me after that but I decided in an effort to not lose my shit, I would totally tune them out. They were “quiet” for the rest of the song and then, right back to regular top volume and singing at the next one. By then it was already midnight and Dokey had to get home to Finn and I had to put my curmudgeony ass to bed. After I washed my dentures and put in my ear plugs that is.