Bedding Down

Weeks ago The Fella and I were lying in my bed just waking up when I turned to him and said, “This isn’t working.”

“I know,” he replied with a sigh.

The time had come to admit a hard truth: We had outgrown my double bed.

I thought for a moment then asked, “Have we gotten fatter? Why does the bed seem smaller?” But the bed hadn’t shrunk and we hadn’t grown in girth, it’s just that these things “happen.” When you first start dating the bed seems big because you are enraptured. You sleep tangled up in each other, not minding sweaty limbs and morning breath. You never disdainfully inquire if they ate pepperoni that day. You don’t complain about toenails that need to be clipped poking your leg during slumber. (Okay, I do. Right off the bat.They were like daggers I tell you!) You are shaving your legs because you want them to be touched.

And then a year goes by and the smallness of the bed is felt.

So I got up and within an hour had purchased a queen sized bed frame from West Elm. It arrived a week later but I’d spent so much on it I couldn’t afford to buy the mattress so it sat in boxes waiting to be built for weeks. Then this past weekend I forked over the dough for a brand new mattress with those individual spring coils so that when one person is moving around the other person does not move. No, seriously- we tested it out. It is awesome. I slept on it last night and I have to say that if you’re looking for me in the next week or so, I’ll be in bed. It’s that comfortable and well, I spent all my money until next pay day.

It’s a major moment for me though- to have a real bed for the first time in my adult life purchased with my very own money.

I’m such a grown up.

I await the real test. . . The Fella sleeping over. I wonder if we will find ourselves entangled because all of sudden there is so much room to move? Like how you want something close because you feel it moving away. Or is that just me?


64 thoughts on “Bedding Down

  1. That bed is beautiful. My husband says I do tae bo in my sleep so we can’t have anything smaller than a king or else our marriage wouldn’t survive.

  2. Love the new bed. I would give anything for a king bed, although I don’t think we’ve outgrown the queen, it is just a matter of adding a kid or two to the mix. Unfortunately our room isn’t quite big enough for a king, so I’ll continue to build myself my pillow wall and sleep on my little edge.

  3. Love the bed. Gorgeous. I love my Queen sized bed. Of course mine is just a mattress on the floor, but it’s still mine and that’s all that matters.

    I think queen is the perfect size. Kasey and I usually get a king size when we travel and maybe it’s just the fact that we’re still newly dating (just a year like you two), but it feels way too freaking big.

    Now you need fancy new sheets!!

    (Are you glaring at this comment now? Hehe)

  4. We have a king size bed because my husband is like 10 feet tall or something. We used to have the “bowling ball” mattress…remember the commercial where they dropped the bowling ball on one side and the cup of water didn’t even move on the other side? I loved it but my husband said it was getting uncomfortable and insisted we buy a sleep number bed. I didn’t want to, but gave in because I am not really so picky. He HATES it, and it bugs me because whenver he moves (which is often) it wakes me up because I am such a light sleeper. I want my bowling ball mattress back!

    Um….I mean cool bed. I hope it works out well when he sleeps over!

  5. We felt the same way when we bought our couches. It was our first “adult” purchase, where we shopped around for weeks, hemmed and hawed, and then spent much more than we’d ever spent on any other piece of furniture in the past. As in, it wasn’t a free hand-me-down from the days ‘o college.

    But this just reminds me that we desperately need a new bed, too. We’re still sleeping on an old queen (ha!) that Roth’s mom bought us eight years ago when we were in college. I would really like to graduate to something more stylish, too. Must check out West Elm.

    Congrats on the new bed!

  6. I can’t believe you were sleeping in a double bed. I complain that our queen bed is too small. It isn’t really, but I still want a king bed once we buy a house.

  7. Me and my 250 lb. mancake share a double also. It’s horrid.

    Alas….it will have to do until we can afford something bigger. Until then…I will live vicariously thru you.

    Happy sleeping…and other things. 😉

  8. Love the new bed! I swear, a queen sized bed revolutionized my marriage. I had never really appreciated how cramped I felt in the double, and how much better I slept once I had a little room to stretch out.

  9. A new bed is such a wonderful thing. We upgraded ours a year ago and have not looked back.

    Don’t worry, you will still feel close as the weather gets colder and you fight in your sleep for the blanket.

    I hope that fella likes it.

  10. My husband and I share a queen bed that seems too small, but in the beginning of our relationship we regularly cuddled up in a twin. I so know what you mean. We just bought a new bed a few years back, but may be in the market again, because we went too cheap and the bed is really just not comfortable any more. Although, I rarely notice, what with enjoying every second of sleep I can get no matter where it is, due to the baby.

  11. It doesn’t stop there…We are in a queen and wishing for the day we can afford a king.

    P.S. Regarding the dentist’s office yesterday…No music! They had a small TV the swiveled overhead while they worked on you, only to block it when they were over you. So, I listened to Dr. Phil then Oprah.

  12. I totally felt grown-up when I bought a new bed… actually a whole bedroom suite… and stopped using old TV stands as bedside tables. Then I bought new sheets and a duvet… total luxury!

  13. Ooohh, pretty bed! Me likey.

    I’m looking forward to (hopefully) getting a new bed when we move into our new house. We have a hand-me-down queen that we’ve had since we dated and it’s time for a new King size bed. With two kids, two cats, and more animals to come, we need more space.

  14. Don’t you love West Elm. Congrats on the new bed. We complain about having a queen because by the time you sleep with two tall people and a dog, it gets very crowded.

    Enjoy the sleepover!

  15. OOOoohhh road testing time!! ;o)
    I have a super-king-sized bed for just me and I’m so used to it that on the (sadly rare) occasions that it gets shared it suddenly feels tiny!

  16. Huh. I guess I’ll be the voice of dissent here. We are never ever ever giving up our double bed. For the first two years of our relationship, we shared a single. When we moved in together, we upgraded. And when we go to hotels and we get queen or king-sized beds, I just hate it. He’s so far away and I need my human radiator close.

    His parents still have a double bed after forty some odd years of marriage and they are crazy for each other. My parents have a king bed and they hate each other. I’m not going to say it’s because of the bed situation, but I’m not going to say it’s not, either.

    Long live the double bed!

  17. Beautiful bed!
    Ah yes, the great bed debacle. My fella prefers a squishy matress, while I prefer a firm one. He actually sleeps on an airmattress over his regular mattress which I cannot understand. Everytime he moves, the bed sinks down in the middle, I get uncomfortable and fidget, which in turn wakes him up.
    I am *this close* to buying him a sleep number bed for Christmas. :p

  18. You had me all panicky there at first, missy!

    My husband and I are both freakishly large so we feel the same way about our Queen size bed that you do about your double.

    I want one of the Westin heavenly beds. Le Sigh…

  19. love the bed frame. so did you only have to buy a mattress and not a box spring?

    Thom and I tried to sleep on a double bed two years ago and it did not work. We can sleep on a queen fine, but we are too fat for double beds. However we have a King so I don’t have to ever touch him when I sleep. And that’s just the way I like it.

  20. Whenever my old roommate and I would go to a hotel and sleep in a king sized bed, we ended up sleeping closer together than we do in a queen because we felt so far away.

  21. I am *totally* with you on the toenails and the pepperoni breathe. Eww to both! But having giant bed does help quite a bit. Enjoy it muchly–it’ll be worth every single dime!

  22. We went from a full, to a queen, to a king. Right now, we’re in a queen and I have to say that moving and getting back my king bed will be heaven. Ah…to not have to feel like anyone is in bed with me.

  23. funny, i have the queen-sized bed and the b/f has a double… i HATE sleeping in his bed because though i love him dearly, i like my space when it’s time for sleeping… i know you will LOVE having the new bed so let us know how things go… :o)

  24. That is a nice frame, dude. I have a queen size bed and, as we all know, I sleep alone. I can not imagine having to share. It’s barely enough room for me and Spider Cat.

    Selfish, that’s what I am. No wonder I’m single.

  25. We started out with a queen when we moved in together. It felt big, even when I DID increase in girth (a lot of girth). It was when we had the kids that we broke and bought a king. They still climb into it every single morning to snuggle, and every night before bed. I wonder what it will be like when they’re grown. Maybe it’ll be too big. Then again, the man sleeps SLANTED. SLANTED, I tell you! Married for over 13 years and he sleeps in my space! GAH!

    Maybe a second king bed….

  26. I love the simplicity of your new bed! Sweets and I normally sleep in a queen. Last weekend, we slept in a king. And instead of the dog sleeping on the edge of the bed, she squeezed in between us. Because there was that much room there. I think you will likely enjoy the extra space.

  27. Angelina is right. Next bed will be a king. We started with a double, went to a Queen, then onward to a King. Funny thing is we don’t sleep far apart but it is nice to have room to romp without falling off the edge of the bed!

    (As if that’s never happened to you! LOL)

  28. I love love love our bowling ball bed. It’s now 10, and well, I felt The Man roll over the other night. I suppose after 10 years it might be time eh?

    Hope you love it as much as I do.

  29. We need a larger bed at B’s house SO BAD. I woke up in the middle of the night ABOUT TO FALL OFF.

    Also, my feet hang off the edge.

  30. The bed is gorgeous! I’m still working on finding a person that I can share a bed with and still actually sleep – I’m so uncomfortable with people near me when I sleep. Stretch out!

  31. I bought a kingsize while still living in Europe and it’s one of the things I”m thrilled my ex did not keep … it’s h.u.g.e. and since my dude is just under 6″5 his feet don’t dangle off the end … quite amazing cause tall men often have their feet poking over the end of the bed … lol. Have a stunning weekend ‘grown-up gal, and I hope you and the fella sleep tangled up real soon.

  32. A bed is the first thing we bought when we moved in with each other. I am not a snuggler while sleeping, please stay on your side of the bed. If you come over to my side I will push you or kick you till you move away (in my sleep!). I need my space! So we got a queen size as well. It’s perfect for us, I can have the space I need yet still reach out to touch him just to make sure he’s still around. 😉 Ours has a double pillow top and is sooo soft and comfy I adore it. My favorite thing we ever bought and it’s going on 10 years old. Congrats on your new comfy bed!

  33. Is it weird that I panicked when I read “this isn’t working”? So happy for your new adult purchase!

    A big bed is such a pleasure, I’m still pissed that I lost the king size bed in the breakup.

  34. Hehe I’m exactly the same! It’s like he’s using up too much of my space and I’m maoning and trying to blindly push him away; then when he’s not there I’m scrambling across the bed to wrap my arms around him 😉

  35. oh- tell me what kind of bed you got- i am looking to get a new one. Our bed is so old it has a graphic 1970’s lady sticker on it. It is terrrible.

  36. Ted and I feel like we’ve outgrown our queen, so I can’t imagine us on a double. OUr best nights of sleep are when where elsewhere on a king sized bed. We’re both just really sensitive to other peoples’ noises and movements that we need more room.

  37. I love the bed you chose!

    I cannot believe you were sleeping on a double though! We have a king, and I sometimes feel clobbered when we sleep on a queen. Ha ha 😛

  38. Been married seven years. We have a queen bed. Most nights we sleep wrapped up together on one side of the bed…until she wakes up and moans, “too hot.” Then I move back to my side.

  39. YEA!!!

    I always said I will feel I’ll have made it when I own my own washer/dryer.

    When buying our house, the in-laws gave us their old set.

    So, does this mean I finally made it or not?

    Owning a brand new BED WITH A BRAND NEW MATTRESS is HUGE!!!

    It is the basics that count, right?? 🙂

  40. Wow awesome. Good beds are the best!

    We have a double bed at work and I hate it. We rarely get a good nights sleep together up here. I’m still umming and ahing over whether to buy a bed and send it up here. One, maybe two more years… is it worth it?

  41. We used to have a queen and when we would vacation a king felt so big and roomy. Now we have a king and somehow we still end up on top of each other. And last night when I woke up, I was surrounded in my little corner by two cats and the hubby. Now I dream of a bigger bed than a king.

  42. LOVE that bed! I have one very similar, in black and King.

    Mr. Mom and I slept in a double bed for a year. He’s 6’6″ and I’m 5’11”. I still don’t know how we did it. Finally, my mom found a king size bed at a garage sale and we’ve never looked back. (I know. Used mattresses — ewwwwwww! But we were desperate and poor.)

  43. Oh my god. You’ve had a double bed all this time? Who still owns those?? I upgraded to queen back in the 90s. I bought my first “sleigh bed” 2 years ago on clearance. I feel like I now have a big girls bed instead of a box spring on a metal brace with wheels. Welcome to adulthood!

  44. I felt the same way when my husband and I bought our sleep number bed. First bed I did not inherit from someone. Also, so comfortable we can now only stay in super nice luxury hotels if we want to get any sleep. It’s that good.

  45. I’ve just found you blog through another, and it’s good! This post rang true with me, because my husband and I have had this! WE both think we need more space, but we already have a bed that is too big for our bedroom, so we are stuck with it. Fortunately we both found spaces in the bed where we can be cosy, so its all good!

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