I’d Vote No If I Could

My family got this email yesterday from a sort of long lost relative. In it he basically asks us to vote No on Prop 8 in CA which I totally would if I still lived in California. It said things like:

“I’m emailing you in a plea for your support in a cause that is very important to me- especially as I’d like to someday (despite what some might say haha) get. . . married.”

Hold up. I read it again and again. Yes. I do believe my cousin is coming out to the entire family in a political email.

Woah. . .Awesome!

Later that night I got a call from the Tomato. He’s on our family email list and has, for years, served as our “surrogate gay.” He cut right to the chase as he is wont to do, “Did you get that email from ____? Is he saying what I think he’s saying?”

Yes! Yes I do!

Then we three-way called my Mom to get her take on it.

Mom: I just emailed Sizzle to see what she thought about it. I think that’s what he’s saying.

Me: You emailed me? I didn’t get an email. Um, Mom, did you hit “reply” and email him? You better go check.

(Laughter because this is so like my Mom.)

Mom: Well, yes, I did hit reply. But all I said was ‘Do you get this? -Mom’ so it’s not bad.

(More laughter at my Mom’s expense.)

Mom: Oh wait! He replied!

Us: What’s it say?!

Mom: It says, ‘Yeah.

Me: As in, YEAH…I AM GAY.

Mom: When do you think he knew?

Me: He always knew, probably.

Mom: But. . .when did you know Tomato?

Bob: Since I was five.

Me: Look, Mom, the Tomato and I dated for two years before he came out.

Tomato: Yeah and we did things that would make your head spin.

Me: Shut UP, Tomato.

* * *

When I received the email I wrote back to him quickly to basically say, “I’m with you!” He wrote back immediately saying he was relieved that the email was well received. I hope other relatives emailed him support. So far, even my opinionated aunt has chimed in positively.

When I think about this right being denied to people, I picture my friends who are gay. My friends who are in love, who live with their partner, who had to travel to other states to have civil union ceremonies. My friends who don’t have the same rights to visit in the hospital or be treated as family by the law in times of crisis. These are REAL people. These are people that I love. And it royally pisses me off that they don’t get treated the same way that I do based solely on their sexual orientation.

So please, if you live in California, read up on Prop 8 and vote NO. For my cousin, for the Tomato, for my many friends who are gay.

Because you believe in equality for all people.


64 thoughts on “I’d Vote No If I Could

  1. Yes, these are real, beautiful people! What a fantastic story.

    Maybe I’ll come out as a cat lady in an email. Or start a blog that reveals it. πŸ˜‰

  2. Though I’m worried about not voting for governor up here, I am really happy that I’m still registered in California so that I can vote no on 8.

    Personally, the sanctity of marriage has been ruined by people who won’t allow my friends to have the same rights as I do. We even toyed with the notion of not getting married until it was legal for our gay friends to do so.

  3. Already voted, thanks to permanent Absentee Voter status. I was so annoyed to see that they were trying to take those rights away again. GRRRRR! I will never understand how MORE marriage could be a bad thing.

  4. Some of the longest, most stable relationships I know of are between people who happen to be gay. Discrimination against them to be married just like their straight counterparts is wrong. They should have the right to risk an institution with a less than 50% success rate just like anybody else!

  5. I wish I could vote in CA… You and Dave are the best for writing about this. I will definitely be keeping my eye on the results of this, because if it can pass in California, we are all fucked.

  6. I would if I could :o)
    My parent’s next door neighbours have been together for over 40 years – since before it was even legal to BE gay in this country, let alone get married. My own marriage didn’t last a quarter of that time. Who the hell has the right to say what they are doing is wrong?
    Thankfully gay marriage IS legal in the UK now, as it should be everywhere!

  7. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why this isn’t a no-brainer for so many people. This shouldn’t even be an issue–and it wouldn’t be if it weren’t for the close-minded, god-fearing, ignorant, right-wingers who feel like they’re actually doing gay people a favor by saving them from the depths of hell.

    I’m not sure there’s an issue that gets me more fired up.

  8. I think that’s what is so easy to forget. That these are real people we’re talking about, real people whose lives are affected by this vote that can seem so political and impersonal to those casting the votes.

  9. I’m with you on this (though I don’t live in California… But my sister does! And she’ll be voting!) – and your family sounds pretty awesome, you know that, right? πŸ™‚

  10. That’s so fantastic! How refreshing and relieving for some, yeah?

    I once officiated a marriage ceremony for two dear friends. I felt so honored they asked me and when I spoke about it to others, I’d always get the same question, “Don’t you have to be ordaned?” Not for gay marriage. But after reciting an old Wiccan binding ceremony I would SO get ordaned to perform ceremonies such as that.

  11. Hi! I found you through Dagny….and I agree with you. These are PEOPLE! HUMAN BEINGS! Why shouldn’t a gay person have the same rights as I do….just cuz they sleep with someone different than me???!! makes no sense to me. Who cares who you ahave sex with?! you’re still HUMAN BEING! WE should all have the same rights.

    a big WOOT to your cousin too!!!

  12. I wish I could vote no too. It will be a great litmus test. I truly hope it does not pass. I was recently phone polled for opinions of Wisconsinites on this subject. I’m glad I was able to give my views – at least they know one Wisconsinite believes ALL people have the right to pursue happiness by marrying and especially the legal rights that coincide as a married couple.

  13. Hurray for your cousin on having the courage to come out. And congrats on having such a supportive family.
    The whole notion of this proposition boggles my mind. It’s basically racism as far as I’m concerned. And as same sex marriage and benefits are legal up here, I just don’t see the point in denying someone the right to love whomever they want.

  14. What a neat way for your cousin to tell you all. I can tell how much you love and support those who are close to you. They are lucky to have you πŸ™‚

  15. I got my mail in ballot yesterday and put a big fat NO on prop 8.

    The fact that the American people have to fight for this right is ridiculous.

  16. They apparently changed to wording on prop 8 to read “eliminate the right to marry” and support nosedived–sucks that people will vote to keep rights AWAY from people, but at least they don’t like to vote to ELIMINATE rights we already have. Hmpf. Not sure if that’s a point in humanity’s favor, or not.

    Don’t worry, we’re in CA and we’re voting for Tomato and your relative and all the others out there.

  17. I would if I could. Last week, I did my own post on No of Prop 8 and I can’t believe how many people think this marriage is some sort of exclusive religious thing. It’s civil, people! Civil is secular. It’s a legal right.

    Kudos to anyone in Calif that is voting NO on this. Shame on anyone that’s voting YES.

  18. i really really wish i lived in california right now. i completely am against this proposition and i am completely disgusted by the millions of dollars that the religious right is putting up to get this passed. the $100,000 that brad pitt and steven spielberg each put up against prop 8 is just a drop in the bucket. wtf??? i get so pissed off about this shit. i love that there are like-minded individuals out there like me who feel the same way. sometimes i feel like i’m the only person in cincinnati who is really passionate about this issue (even amongst my gay friends, sadly). *sigh*

  19. Awww. I’m so glad the email was well received. It’s so wonderful to see that people are understanding that sexual preference just doesn’t matter.

    I have a dream that in forty or fifty years, this will be such a non-issue (of course gays and lesbians can get married) that our children and our children’s children will be laughing at all the hubbub over all this “civil union” business.

  20. Ha! That’s even better than the time I was driving home from college with a friend and out of nowhere he says, “So, I think I might be gay…”
    Suffice to say we had plenty to talk about for the remainder of the drive!
    I still don’t get why any of this is even an issue. Ridiculous. We have people losing their jobs and struggling to feed their kids…heck, more marriages would boost the economy, it’s been proven!

  21. I’m not a large fan of California (the state’s just not for me, and most of us Oregonians share that mindset, sorry…) – but I sure as heck am a HUGE fan of voting no on 8!!

    Best wishes to your cousin & your family. πŸ™‚

  22. Aw, that’s so great the family is supportive. And hooray for your cousin for having the courage!

    Everyone should have the choice to marry the one they love.

  23. Oh, I believe, sister. I believe. Unfortunately, I don’t live in California. But I believe.

    Good for your cuz. Did you always suspect or was it an outright surprise?

  24. This past weekend I drove past people on a street corner waving “Vote Yes on 8” signs. I wanted to throw rocks at them. Not sure if the vote yes ads are still up on youtube, but they’re so offensive. I sure hope the majority of my fellow Californians vote no. Too bad you don’t have dual stateship. πŸ™‚

  25. I live in So California and I am with you – I agree and will vote no on 8. I worked in West Hollywood / Beverly Hills for many years and while I do have a great Husband – I also as hubby and I joke have a “wife” she is one of my best friends and has blessed my life with a great friendship… She also has a great partner πŸ™‚

  26. Get with the times people!! It is of NO politicians business who loves who. Worrying about gay people getting married, adopting children or having benefits is a waste of time. As long as two people love each other nothing else should matter!!

    I hope California does the right thing for your cousin and every other proud gay person. After all…everyone is a human being.

  27. The same type amendment is on the ballot here in Florida also. I was disgusted when I opened my sample ballot and saw it. You can bet your booty I’ll be voting not to eliminate people’s rights simply because of their sexual orientation!

  28. I still get my CA absentee ballot, you bet your ass I’m voting no. Fuckers. I had a buncha friends get married when Newsom made it legal, and watched all of them be devastated when it was taken away. Grrrr.

  29. A very brave move and glad it was a happy ending. Some families are not so understanding which is a shame. If I lived in CA I’d be voting too.

  30. I live in what’s affectionately termed the “gayborhood” in DC and have some amazing partners as roommates. When I sit and think about the fact that someone as vapid as Britney Spears can marry left, right and center but my friends who are in loving, committed relationships can’t because of their sexual orientation, I grieve for our country. I’m going to forward your post to my blogger friend Joy in CA and hope she votes no!

  31. If I was in CA I would totally do it. I also cannot stand someone’s basic rights being denied to them. I also can’t stand blanket hate/dislike/whatev towards an entire group of people. Sometimes it makes my head spin how backwards this country can be.

  32. So some are trying to reverse gay marriage which was given the thumbs up and made legal in California a few months ago? Why? I would vote No On 8 if I could.

    I hope your relative gets a lot of positive responses!

  33. I wish I was in California so I could vote too…

    Love is beautiful and should be celebrated – if two people, gay or straight, want to get married to declare their love, what difference does it make to anyone else?

  34. First, please pass along well wishes to your cousin. He’s very brave and I hope everyone he tells embraces you like he does.

    The other thing to consider is the kids. Kids of gay parents like to feel like their parents are married. Or divorced. Lack of definition is hard for them.

    VOTE NO!

  35. I didn’t know anything about this – I thought it was legal already. I’m thankful to be British. I’d certainly vote if I could πŸ™‚

  36. It saddens me greatly the need to even vote on stuff like this. Just let people be and lead their own lives. Less government my ass!

    Good on your long lost relative for his courage.

  37. I watched my boss vote absentee on Prop. 8 (he voted No) the other day and was really happy about it. It’s seriously hard for me to believe that in this day and age, anyone can think it’s okay to deny two consenting adults the right to legally/officially be together. The mind boggles.

  38. i don’t think marriage is in my future… but i’d sure like to have the OPTION LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES.

    thanks sista


  39. I’m glad your cousin doesn’t live in Oklahoma, because we amended our constitution to ban gay marriage. We’re hateful that way. At least one politician had the balls to stand up to his colleagues in the Legislature. He was quoted as saying “Why did we do it? Because we could. And that’s wrong.” Actually, it was a proud moment for me. I’ve never heard an Oklahoma official admit to political pandering.

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