What Facebook Finds

The other day I got a message on Facebook from someone I went to elementary school. It said:

“Hey, didn’t you babysit my brother and I? {Insert their names here.}”

Um, I was in this guy’s class. I AM THE SAME AGE AS HIM.

He was never the brightest bulb. Some things do not improve with age.

* * * *

An old elementary school friend started a page for our Alma Mater. This has proved to be both enlightening and frightening.

Frightening: See above.

Enlightening: My former nemesis that I believed was a fashion designer in New York is actually NOT that at all. And that’s all I will say about that.

Though, I have to admit, a piece of me feels guilty for feeling redeemed by someone else’s mediocrity.


39 thoughts on “What Facebook Finds

  1. I love when they aren’t what I thought they were. It’s the only mean behavior I allow myself to indulge in (well, that and envisioning things I would do to people I hate if I didn’t have to abide by laws). I tried to friend a girl I knew from the 7th – 10th grade the other day. She sent me an email back asking if we knew each other . Now, I have a very unique name, one no one ever forgets…. So I said yeah, we went to school together we had classes together blah blah. She writes back, Sorry I can’t accept your friend request cause I don’t remember who you are. And suddenly I flashed back to why it was her sister I was friends with and not her, she was always this I am better than you, snobby, elitist bitch. So I wrote her back and said well, apparently you haven’t changed at all since you were 14. Good luck.
    and then I blocked her. Passive aggressive much? Yeah.

  2. Schadenfreude! We all have it. But at least you’re taking pleasure in observing someone else’s mediocrity instead of their misery.

  3. Don’t feel guilty.
    I keep tabs on old boyfriends, nemesises, and people I don’t like. If they do something cool I feel a tinge of jealously, but then I remember that I’m 1,000 times more awesome.
    And when they screw up, I do feel a bit of joy. I refuse to feel bad about it. Because, for the most part, I don’t like them because they’re awful people.
    And I think you reap what you sow.

  4. Like Jess said: Schadenfruede. Great concept, great word.

    I am pretty new to FaceBook and am oddly terrified by it, but also oddly entertained by an ex who is dating a very unattractive girl. Shallow? Of course.

    I figured out the block function pretty quickly.

    I am now waiting to see if “the ex who wasn’t” tracks me down as he has found various mutual friends already. Ugh. Husband will be THRILLED.

  5. Facebook is the great equalizer. I am depressed by the number of PhD’s/professors in my graduating class (because I never finished mine), though I feel much better when I check out other people’s mediocrity.

  6. Facebook has made me realize how aweful my memory is. I remember almost none of the people from my high school class that have ‘friended’ me. I am, however, surprised by how many of those suckers are still in our home town in UT. Makes me feel good about at least escaping that lousy place.

    I don’t feel an ounce of guilt..and nor should you.

  7. One of my old friends did a Facebook friend suggestion for my old nemesis – I am being infantile and I don’t want her to be my friend. I know it is wrong, but I can’t help it. She was such a “B” in high school – even though that was 20 years ago, I still don’t want to be her friend, even on FB!!!

  8. I have a lot of trouble with facebook. I can not remember anyone! I am not snobby (I hope!), I just seriously have a sucky memory for faces and names unless it is someone I really really hung out with. I did go to three different high schools and meet a lot of people, so I think I will use that as my excuse. But it happens every day to me too. I just was at a store today where a woman looked like someone I knew. I had no idea WHY I knew her. Her daughter asked who I was and she totally knew everything about me. Luckily, she mentioned something about her son, and said her son and my daughter are in class together or I would still be trying to figure out who she was!

  9. Finding redemption in someone else’s mediocrity simply means you’re human like the rest of us. So long as you don’t do celebratory dances or try to force people into mediocrity, you’re fine. Revel in it if you need to–sometimes being snarky can make a person feel so much better.

    And Facebook? Is wonderful and terrifying. For pretty much the reasons you’ve laid out!

  10. When I email old friends from high school and they’re doing as poorly as I am, I do a little dance.

    Don’t feel bad.

  11. After everyone made a mass exodus from MySpace to Facebook I swore off social networking sites. I just can’t keep up with them (and I still don’t know WTF Twitter is)
    Most of the people from my past that have found me on line have made me wish that they would un-find me anyways

  12. You should watch last week’s ep of 30 Rock. There are a variety of riffs on high school reunions and the expectations they engender that are hilarious.

  13. Don’t feel guilty. We all feel that way. That’s what facebook is for – finding out what the people you didn’t like are up to:)

    (Okay, maybe just me. I didn’t have a lot of friends)

  14. Haha, I have some ‘friends’ on facebook that I knew in eleentry school as well. It’s weird when you see how old they’ve gotten, like putting adult heads on little kid’s bodies.

    MY former nemesis (love I loved adored and looked up to in my total mushy insecure way, but she was soooo mean to me) actually sent me a friend request a week ago. I admit to enjoying ‘not accepting’, but I also think that was pretty small of me…

    Besides, it might have been more fun to spy in her! (;

  15. I just cleaned up my facebook page.. I was saying yes to everyone and their dog for friends request. I just dropped 78 pple who I really don’t know at all except they knew ME!

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